Aberdeen Unitarian Church
CALENDAR
JUNE 2009
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CONTENTS |
FOREWORDThe principal function of a Church is to provide ministry in the fullest sense of the word for the members of its Congregation. Fulfilling this aim within the Unitarian movement has become increasingly difficult over the past few years due to the declining number of professional ministers and the increasing costs of employing them. Over the past few years, the Scottish Churches have been considering various means of coping with this situation, and have decided that the most satisfactory approach is that of the Collaborative Ministry Model. This involves the four Churches working closely together to ensure that each Congregation has the means to fulfil its obligations to its members. Since January 2009, the Scottish Churches have been engaged in producing a case to host a G.A. Collaborative Ministry Pilot Scheme which would provide financial support from central resources to fund a professional ministry for up to five years. As a result of preparing this bid, the Scottish Churches have a clear idea of how such a scheme would work in Scotland and what would be required of each Church in terms of personnel and finance. Currently there are two full-time professional ministers in Scotland, one in Dundee and the other in Edinburgh. Aberdeen and Glasgow are lay led. In addition, however, there are several lay celebrants, registered with the Registrar General for Scotland who are trained to conduct, weddings, funerals and naming ceremonies, two of whom are members of our own Congregation. We have another two in training. In the near future there will be twelve trained lay people in Scotland qualified to lead worship in any of our Churches. The Collaborative Ministry approach will make use of these lay people and the two professional Ministers who will be made available by their own Congregations from time to time, to ensure continuity of worship for all our Churches. The result of our Pilot Scheme bid will be available at the end of June, and if we have been successful we shall have the opportunity to recruit another full-time minister for Scotland. If we don't we shall introduce our own Collaborative Ministry Scheme. Ministry, of course, in its fullest sense, means much more than leading Sunday worship or conducting, weddings, funerals and naming ceremonies. Ministry means helping and caring, to minister to each other by looking after each other. Many of us, while we may open our heart to a Minister, might have strong reservations about doing so to a lay person, for several understandable reasons. To overcome this difficulty, we need to trust each other, get to know each other much better, be worthy of each other's trust, by being responsible, reliable and sincere. We have been accustomed to place our confidence in a professional minister. From now on, with the best will in the world, we may not be able to call upon a minister when we need one; however, a fellow member will always be available to lend a helping hand or a listening ear and compassionate support. More than ever, we now need to collaborate in ministering to each other. JUNE VISITORSWe are fortunate this month to welcome to our pulpit the Rev. Maud Robinson who became Minister of St. Mark's Unitarian Church, Edinburgh in October of last year. A native of Dublin, Maud trained in Britain and in the U.S.A. where she took up her first ministerial appointment before moving to Scotland. Maud's visit to Aberdeen, her first to our city, is in keeping with the Collaborative Ministry initiative. The following Sunday, Father's Day, we are to be hosts to a group of American Barber Shop choristers, directed by Bill Rhiel who was formerly conductor of the Granite City Chorus. In addition to participating in our hymns, our guests will perform a short programme of their own work. Let us show our June visitors that they are very welcome by supporting them with a full attendance. Wm. S. Stephen (Editor) Email: william134@btinternet.com or editor@aberdeen-unitarians.org.uk PASTORAL GREETINGSSeveral of our members are unable to attend our Sunday worship and other congregational events because of infirmity and illness. We are aware that several of our friends are not enjoying good health, and a few are suffering discomfort and pain. To all our house-bound friends we send our best wishes and we assure you of our continuing concern for your well-being. You are greatly missed at all our congregational gatherings. SPRING FAIR
Our Spring Fair on 25th April raised £556. 10. We congratulate Rhona Stewart who organised this event and all her helpers on this splendid achievement. We express our appreciation to everyone who contributed I the merchandise and to our customers who were as usual generous to and supportive of our fund-raising efforts.
Our next Fund-raiser is our Annual Beetle Drive, scheduled for, Friday 11th September. Please make a note of this date. JULY HOLIDAY ARRANGEMENTSIn keeping with our traditional practice, during July there will be no worship services. The Wednesday and Saturday cafes will continue to operate during July however. Our Services of Worship will resume on August 2nd. At 11.00am. After the service which will feature music from the new hymn book performed by our augmented choir, we shall share a Fish & Chip Lunch. S.U.A. ANNUAL MEETINGThis event takes place in Dundee Unitarian Church on Saturday 6th June, 11.00am for 11.30am. Everyone is invited to attend. PARENTHOODBy Bill Stephen (On May 3rd 2009, Sue Good
conducted The Naming Ceremony for her Grand-Daughter, Thea
Grace Parley. Leo Tolstoy opens his novel 'Anna Karenina' with the statement, "All happy families are happy in the same way. Unhappy families are unhappy in their own way." Or words to that effect. Since the birth of a first-born transforms a marriage or partnership into a family, just as Thea has recently achieved, and as this is such a happy occasion, I intend to concentrate on the happiness parenthood and family life can bring us. Since I am more of an expert on myself and I think my wife, than anyone else, I am going to talk largely about what being a parent for the first time meant to us. On the day our first son was born, our next-door neighbour said to me, 'Your life will never be the same again'. This, I quickly discovered, was an understatement of gigantic proportions. My whole existence was subject to a sudden revolution which not only changed all my priorities and values, but also my very out-look on life. I was utterly transformed, as if I had passed through a gate and into another life altogether. For months, of course, Anita and I had been doing all the practical things, buying baby clothes, baby equipment, reading about obstetrics, and child-rearing, compiling lists of names, decorating the baby's room and it seemed that we had everything organised.....except ourselves. I suppose nothing can prepare you for that first emotional tsunami when you realise that you are at last, after all the waiting, parents for the first time. The waves of emotion break over you, one after another, relief that mother and child have survived the trauma of birth unscathed, unbelievable joy, pride, jubilation, and then.... terror, apprehension, a crushing sense of inadequacy! Here is a new human being, whom we have with forethought brought into the world, for whose well-being and every need we are entirely responsible, who lies there screaming, his face scarlet, clearly demanding attention and we haven't a clue what he wants. Anita says, "We can feed him, burp him, change him or cuddle him, but that's as far as my instinct can take me. What do you think?" De-skilled, panic stricken and far, far out of my depth, I reply, "Yes, yes. Let's do all that, in that order." As I watched Anita lift Mark into her arms, hold him, comfort him, I was overwhelmed with admiration and wonder at her achievement in giving birth, at her competence now as he became calm in her arms and drifted off to sleep. Our relationship had changed. We were not only husband and wife, two young people in love with each other, we were mother and father to our son, joined not only by ritual and law but also physically in this tiny creature, whose destiny would be inextricably intermingled with ours for ever more. Whatever we did from now on would affect him as well. That thought brought me up short. His future, however long that may be, at that moment, lay in our hands. He slept, there, a creature with a genetic history millions of years old, but with a personal history that had only just started. A mystery to both of us. . A personality as yet to unfold. A mind as yet to emerge. A consciousness still cocooned in the depths of unknowing. A will yet to awaken. Here was a biography as yet unwritten, every page of which we would influence; a life to be lived day by day, its fulfilment and contentment, our constant concern from that moment on, for parenthood is not only a physical relationship, it is an emotional, moral and spiritual bond that is never severed. More than forty years on, and the bond is still as strong as ever. The arrival of the next generation changes family relationships and attitudes. We had created a new family. The family hierarchies had to be adjusted. Our own parents were transformed into grand-parents and their parents into great-grand parents and our new family now became the standard bearer rather than the older generations. We were now appointed to carry the hopes of our families into the future. Parental responsibilities also brought us a deeper appreciation of what our parents had done for us, in caring for us, of their role in our up-bringing and of their influence in forming our personalities, something which children usually take for granted. During the months after Mark's birth, I became gradually aware of how inestimably more valuable my emotional and spiritual holdings in the present and indeed in the future had become. Suddenly I had a treasure beyond price, which I had to safeguard since its loss would beyond bearing. Our daily existence as a family became more intense, more vivid; sharing ordinary household tasks, caring for the baby, shopping, organising routines, even walking the dog became much more significant because there appeared to be so much more that depended upon everything we did. We were both involved in every event of Mark's day, taking it in turns to change him, feed him, bathe him and dress him, and then we would both walk out with him in his pram to show him off to the world... though he had to compete for attention with our rumbustious boxer dog, Fabian. Parenthood matured us emotionally and spiritually. We had to think about the needs of three people now, always giving Mark the priority in everything. Much more than that, however, we quickly identified what we valued most, our commitment to each other and our son, our family unity, family well-being, mutual support and trust in each other that we would never willingly let each other down. We were living three lives simultaneously, viewing life from each other's perspective and from Mark's, particularly as be became older, and from Noel's, our second son, when he came along . Parenthood, I discovered is a spiritually enriching experience. My consciousness was enlarged. I was aware of a depth of feeling, compassion, caring, of nurturing I had been unaware of possessing. My personality did not change in essentials but there was a new enlightenment I could more readily appreciate sympathetically the needs and vulnerabilities of other people. I could appreciate the efforts people made to ensure and protect the wellbeing of their families. I understood more fully the paramount importance within the family relationship of being worthy of the other's trust and faith. Since Anita and I were married almost fifty years ago, customs have changed. Now a majority of children are born to unwed parents and a great many live in single parent families. We are engaged in a vast social experiment which mayor may not prove eventually that the traditional nuclear family of a father 'and mother and one or more children living and growing up together in the same home in a stable and loving relationship is the arrangement which is best suited for rearing happy, self-confident and well-adjusted children. Politicians and pundits often claim that parenting is a dying art and should be taught to children even in the early years of primary school. The practical business of baby care, bathing, feeding changing and so on is easily taught and has been taught in secondary schools, in my experience, ever since I was at school, and indeed was regularly learned in the home where the older children in larger families were expected to care for younger brothers and sisters. The more important aspect of parenting the emotional, the loving, caring, nurturing is almost impossible to teach because it makes so many demands upon the maturity of the individual. In addition to love, parents need infinite patience, a degree of self-denial, self- confidence and common-sense. In spite of all the medical help available today, parenting is perhaps more difficult than ever because we live in a materialistic society which places enormous value upon self - gratification. The joy of parenthood spiritual rather than physical. Fulfilment comes from the family relationship, participating in family life, being involved in supporting a new and growing personality, knowing that you are the essential presence in your child's life, appreciating the wonder and uniqueness of that life. Not everyone experiences parenthood. Not everyone wishes to become a parent. Medical technology has made it possible for parenthood nowadays to be a voluntary decision. Anita and I decided we wanted a family, a decision that has brought us enormous happiness and fulfilment. We have two sons, Mark and Noel, who are settled in their own homes and live their own lives, but who are scarcely ever out of our thoughts, for no matter how old your children become, you cannot rid yourself of that feeling that you are still responsible for them and their happiness is more important to you than your own. In 'Anna Kerenina' Tolstoy shows a happy family to be one in which each member feels that his or her needs are recognised, understood and taken seriously, whereas in the unhappy family at least one person will feel that his or her needs are overlooked or deliberately dismissed and may seek emotional fulfilment outside the family, creating misery and despair for everyone. This morning we have been celebrating happy families because this is what we all aspire to when we set out on the road to parenthood. We seek and if we are fortunate we find emotional and spiritual fulfilment in watching our children grow up happy and contented within a caring and loving family circle. THEA'S SONGMany are gathered in this place today Hers are the blessings all the world
should share From her beginning she has claimed her
place (This song, written by Sue Good and set to the tune of 'Highland Cathedral' was sung during the Service.) JEAN SHANKS1911-2009With great sadness we record the passing of our oldest member, Jean Shanks, who died on Tuesday 19th May. Her Funeral Service was conducted in the East Chapel of Aberdeen Crematorium on 27th May by Bert Inkson, who delivered the following tribute: Jean was born on 7th July 1911. Having lived for nearly 98 years she achieved such a lot and made an impact on the lives of so many people. When she was just over one year old, her mother died at the age of 27.
Enrolled as a domestic servant, she served in several households and at Tor-na-Coille Hotel, Banchory, where she was well thought of. She was also conductress on the Peterhead and Fraserburgh bus routes where she met Harry Shank's family. Jean's Grandfather found his way to the Unitarian Church where he was welcomed warmly and became 'a member. On her Uncle's death they moved to a council house in Hilton. By now Jean was employed at Woolworths where she spent 10 happy years. She also sang in the Church Choir at this time, She was married in 1939 by Rev.Ceiron Jones and became mother of two lovely daughters, June and Moira. Life was difficult when she became a single Mum. She worked full-time at the Nurses' Home at Tor-na Dee before returning to Woolworths until she married Harry Shanks in 1973. This was another happy period-they made a lovely devoted couple. During the post-war years, I got to know Jean. I remember her at Woolworths' Habberdashery Counter. She attended the Thursday evening whist drives to raise funds to support the Church Scouts and Guides which her daughters attended. Jean's interest included Old Time, Sequence and Scottish Country Dancing, at which she was expert. She was my favourite partner as she guided me through the intricacies of the dances. With two other ladies, she organised the Cake and Candy stall at Church ,Sales. Her Swiss Milk Toffee was much sought after and I was one of her best customers. She also made meringues, other delicacies and marmalade which was much sought after. She supplied marmalade over many years, until last November. She also did knitting for all her family and for many Church members. Jean was a loyal, faithful and generous member of the Church and Women's League, which she attended regularly until last Summer when her failing eyesight made bus journeys difficult for her. She contributed generously to the League Charitable projects. Until March this year, she was regularly brought to Church by car, by her Son-in-Law, Angus, and also by Sue and Bill Good. Jean was always ready and willing to help others in time of need, family members and friends alike. .she seemed to know whenever helping hand was needed. In spite of the problems and difficulties that Jean encountered, she accomplished such a lot. She was a home-maker. As a mother. she excelled, and as a friend she was greatly valued. In turn she was proud of the achievements of her children and grandchildren. We express our sympathy to
her daughters, June and Moira, her Son-In-Law, Angus, her
grand.., children, great grand-children and the members of
her step-family.
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