Aberdeen Unitarian Church
CALENDAR
MARCH 2009
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CONTENTS |
FOREWORDTonight moonlight and snowfall have transformed my garden. Where trees and shrubs once spread their branches, strange, geometrical shapes, snow-cast and frost hardened, now glimmer in the pallid moonlight. Spires of snow and ice stretch into the night sky; snow-shells glitter and snow domes shine by the side of the hedge; slender pillars, as if carved from salt, cast pale blue shadows across beds of snow; a fringe of icicles clings to the trellis. The scene, innocent and unknowing, gazes skyward at the source of its being. its fleeting existence, already slipping away as the moon is lost behind advancing snow clouds. Snow flakes drift past the window as the light fades and dies, extinguishing for ever this fragile vision. It was deeply moving, this sight of my garden in the snow, a unique experience, a warp in time when the eternal and the ephemeral met as one, and I was aware again of the oneness of existence because my senses, my feelings and my imagination collaborated in creating the scene. Without my presence it would have had no significance. Next morning Bobbing John was at the kitchen window, using his wings to keep afloat in the deep layer of snow covering the roof of the boiler house. His feathers were all puffed out so that he looked like a black pom-pom. He appeared two summers ago, a young adult blackbird, raising a brood for the first time, and learning from his mistakes. Last summer, now an experienced 'pater familias' he brought his youngsters around to visit us. He has a most engaging personality. Most blackbirds grab the food and go. But not Bobbing John. He dances for his dinner. He lands on the boiler house roof which is just below the kitchen window, He advances up to the glass, retreats, advances again half way, shuffles sideways to the left, then to the right, comes back to the centre and flies vertically into the air and then descends again just as quickly. He repeats this manoeuvre over and over again until he gets something to eat. When he gets his reward, he circles it several times, then contemplates it before putting a beak to it. Usually at this stage the sparrows descend and steal his food, sometime from his very beak. He doesn't drive them away, but resorts to his dance again until he is re-supplied. He then takes his time about eating, usually with half a dozen sparrows dancing around him. He obviously has his standards. He earns his food, he shares it with others, he is tolerant of sparrows and will not be hurried at mealtimes. In addition to his mate. who is all bounce and bossiness, there are seven blackbirds, but he is quite relaxed about their presence. He is charming company, a bit of a clown, but a pleasure to be with and we feel privileged to know him. This account of Bobbing John is clearly anthropomorphic and that of my snow-light scenario an instance perhaps of pathetic fallacy, that is of giving to Nature or non-human creatures, human characteristics or moods. This is often criticised as being sentimental, self-indulgent and a denial of the natural subject's rights to be considered in its own context. However, I argue that each expresses a poetic attitude to nature which reveals our own awareness of our connection with the whole of existence. Our emotional engagement with the other, that is, what is beyond ourselves surely demonstrates our consciousness of the other and our moral obligations towards it. Bobbing John and I have a reciprocal relationship: I feed him and he gives me enormous pleasure. Wm. S. Stephen (Editor) Email: william134@btinternet.com or editor@aberdeen-unitarians.org.uk Tel: (01224) 317450 IRIS SPEED1932 - 2009It is with great regret that we record the death of Iris Speed who died suddenly but peacefully in her own home on 19th January 2009. Her Funeral Service, at Dundee Crematorium on 26th January, was conducted by Wm. S. Stephen. Her ashes were interred, in Barnhill Cemetery, Broughty Ferry, on 30th January alongside those of her younger son Alastair, who died in 2000. A short grave-side service was conducted by her son-in-law, Rev. Dr. Ian G. Thom. Iris was born and brought up in Elgin, one of a family of four sisters and one brother. At the age of fifteen, she left Elgin Academy to work as an assistant in a grocer's shop. Iris's ambition had been to enter an apprenticeship as a tailoress, but the premium demanded for her instruction was much more than her parents could afford.
Alex, who was employed by the BBC as a transmitter engineer, was based at Kirk 0' Shotts and they set up housekeeping in rented rooms at Uddingston, then Coatbridge before moving to Oban and then Fortrose on the Black Isle and finally, some thirty-four years ago, to their home in Broughty Ferry. During their years of wandering their children were born, First Wendy, then Colin and then the youngest, Alastair. Iris quickly settled into her role of home-maker and mother, a role to which her temperament was well suited and at which she excelled. Alex was obliged to work shifts and had to be away from home from time to time, but Iris was always there, the reassuring presence at the centre of the children's lives, when they left for school in the morning and when they returned home in the evening, warm, comforting, understanding, safe, loving, listening, consoling, advising and when necessary correcting, seeing to all their needs, meals on the table, clothes washed and ironed, regular as clockwork. She also found time to pursue her lifetime interest in knitting, dress-making and embroidery. Her nimble fingers were never idle. At the time of her death, she was making a dressing jacket, was knitting two cardigans and was attending a sewing class, ever keen to perfect her skills. She could not sit and watch television and even when she did decide to watch something that interested her, she would be studying a cross-stitch pattern at the same time. Her needlework clearly gave her enormous pleasure. She could become deeply absorbed in it and for a time forget the troubles and irritations of the day, be they great or small. She was happy that her grand-daughters had inherited her creative talents. Alex is proud of her embroidery which he has hanging on the walls of their home. Important as her home and family were to her, Iris also enjoyed the company of other people. She was an active member of the Drumgeith W.R.I. participating in the local and national competitions. She was a regular attender at of the Aberdeen Unitarian Church and a valued member of the Women's League, travelling to Aberdeen to participate in their special events and providing the lion's share of baking for the cake and candy stall at the sales of work. For almost twenty years she worked part time at the Oxfam shop in Broughty Ferry, where her, reliability, commitment and willingness to work extra hours were much appreciated by the management. She was a generous and thoughtful hostess, welcoming guests to her home, putting them up over night, enjoying their company. She and Alex travelled widely on their holidays getting as far as Australia, and visiting many of the most attractive areas of Europe. They were booked to visit Interlaken, this summer coming. They also enjoyed going to the theatre. Iris enjoyed musical shows, such as 'Oliver' and 'Aspects of love'. She particularly enjoyed 'Riverdance' and 'Cats'. She also took an interest in horse-jumping and ice-skating They had intended to visit Edinburgh the week that she died to see 'Cinderella on Ice'. In spite of her success as a wife and homemaker and her creative talents, Iris was a modest, unassuming person. Her voice was soft. She was quietly spoken, and in conversation with her you felt she was concentrating solely on you. She was pleasant company, sociable and easy to talk to, but she was also a private person who did not make a display of her feelings. The death of their youngest son, Alastair, and of their grand-daughter, Fiona, affected her very deeply, but she rarely spoke of it. This was how she tried to cope with sorrow. The grief was endured in silence but it was never assuaged, it was always there, a part of her, showing itself sometimes in the tone of her voice, as a kind of weariness. Iris's passing, so sudden, so unexpected, has shocked all of us who knew her and held her dear. We shall miss her gentle, unaffected manner. Her sincerity. Her warm smile. Her commitment and concern for others. Her composure. Her life had meaning and purpose. At its close it was still pushing forward with expectation, eagerly engaged with all its concerns, reaching out to the future with hope and confidence. Such a life deserves to be celebrated. For such fulfilment we may all be grateful. A beautiful life, lived by a wonderful person. We express our deepest sympathy to Alex, her husband, Wendy, her daughter and her family, and Colin her son and his family and to her sister, Dorothy. EDWARD (EDDIE) BROWN1929 - 2009
It is with great sorrow that we report the death of Eddie Brown who died after a very short illness on 31st January, in his own home. His Funeral Service was conducted by Wm. S. Stephen at the Crematorium on 9th. February 2009. Eddie was born at 69, The Shiprow in Aberdeen, the eldest of the family of two sons and three daughters. He attended Woodside primary school and Powis secondary school which he left to follow his father's trade, by becoming apprenticed as a painter and decorator to the firm of Parle and Fraser. He eventually moved on to work for Aberdeen City Council as a painter, glazier and road marker, which occupied him for the next twenty-five years until his retirement.
A single parent, once again, Eddy had no doubt as to what his priority would be, Kerry's welfare and happiness. He took early retirement so that he could concentrate on her up - bringing. A new routine was established. Eddie was there at home, looking after things, the reassuring presence, there, in the morning, at lunch time and in the evening, with food on the table, there for Kerry when she needed her parent's care and attention. This routine continued while Kerry grew up, went to secondary school, university, graduated, joined a profession, until three years ago when she married Lewis and left the family home to set up house with her new husband. Since then until this past week Eddy lived on his own, but always in contact with Bill and Lynn and with his daughter who phoned him regularly four times a day. As long as he knew all the members of his family were happy and well, living on his own was no hardship to him. He spent hours every day listening to Radio 2, reading the newspapers watching the TV news, keeping up to date with current events which continued to fascinate him. He liked to walk about the city, rarely taking the bus. He enjoyed shopping, fetching and carrying, buying bread, milk and potatoes for his infirm and house-bound neighbours. He particularly looked forward to seeking out bargains. He knew so many people; and as he strolled in the town would frequently meet and chat with former colleagues, neighbours and acquaintances. When I met him on the street, his face would light up in a bright smile of recognition and pleasure. And even if we didn't talk about anything of great significance, I always felt buoyed up afterwards, because I had met a a sincere and unaffected friend who appeared to be so contented with his life. He attended the Unitarian Church of a Sunday morning, and it was always reassuring to see Eddie there in his usual seat at the end of the back row, because if he thought it worthwhile spending time with us then we were probably saying and doing the right things. After the Service it was Eddie who collected up the hymn books and tidied them away. What gave meaning and purpose to Eddie's life was his family, his children, grandchildren and great-grand-children. In family life he found true and lasting happiness. Bill says he was never a stern or autocratic father, but he was a stickler for order and routine. Things had to be seen to at the appointed time. Mealtimes were rigidly adhered to and lateness was not condoned. He always insisted in knowing where Bill was going, when they lived in Cotton Street. He could play on the Beach or around the harbour, as long as he told his father before hand. 'He always looked out for me' said Bill, 'and made certain that I was apprenticed to a useful trade when I left school.' Both Kerry and Bill agreed that he could get angry if they behaved in ways that really annoyed him, but usually he was very even-tempered and always fair. Although sociable and friendly, Eddie was a very private person, who rarely talked about himself and never showed his own feelings. Even in times of great sdistress, he kept his feelings to himself. He hated fuss and preferred to avoid the limelight. He had misgivings about walking down the aisle with Kerry on his arm at her wedding in the Chapel of Haddo House. But he admitted later he had been proud to do so and had enjoyed the wedding. His children, however, knew how deeply he cared for them and their partners. It was his great satisfaction to know that his children were settled in happy marriages and he cared deeply for his daughter in law and son in law and their families. Every Christmas it was the custom for everyone to meet at Bill and Lyn's House. There he enjoyed the company of his great-grandson, Jamie, but this past Christmas had the added delight of monopolizing his new great-grand daughter, Libby, just a few weeks old. His life ended, as it had been his delight to live it, at home, in the company of the people he loved. He passed away on Saturday 31st of January. with Kerry and his son-in-law, Lewis, by his side. Of course, our hearts are heavy and are spirits downcast that Eddie has passed beyond our physical reach, and the pain of his loss will not be easily assuaged, but we cannot feel regret for the life that he enjoyed. A contented life, that fulfilled its dearest ambition. What a wonderful legacy he has left behind for his son and daughter: each has a happy and loving marriage; and for his grand-children and great grand-children brought up in a secure and caring family circle just as he had always worked and hoped for. An achievement worthy of our admiration and celebration this morning. We express our deepest sympathy to Eddie's son Bill and daughter-in-law, Lyn, And to his daughter Kerry and her husband, Lewis. OF MARSHMALLOWS AND SELF-DISCIPLINEBy John RobinsonAs a child I loved to pick brambles; in fact I still do. But in those early post- war years there was the added incentive of receiving payment for doing so. Each autumn, small rural shops in N. Ireland became centre points for the collection of brambles for processing into jam. The farm hedgerows were excellent picking grounds and, with bramble-filled buckets dangling from the handlebars of my bicycle, I used to ride off in the evening to the local shop to sell my day's produce. On one occasion, towards the end of the picking season, I decided to reward myself by spending the money from the day's harvest on marshmallows. On the way home I ate the lot, went off to bed and fell fast asleep. A few hours later I woke with horrific stomach pains and was violently sick. So traumatic was the experience that even yet the very sight of a marshmallow makes me feel ill. In my self indulgence, I had failed what is now known as the 'marshmallow test'. This test was developed in the 1960s by Professor Waiter Mischel at Stanford University in California. It involved the Professor placing a marshmallow on a plate in front of a four- year- old child and then giving the child two options; either to eat the marshmallow right away, in which case the child only received one marshmallow, or refraining from eating the marshmallow for a few minutes while the Professor left the room and then returned, in which case the child received another marshmallow. Follow up studies of the many four- year old children who were subjected to the test now show that, compared with those who ate the first marshmallow right away, those with the will- power to delay their gratification until the Professor returned with the second marshmallow, were more successful in adult life, be it in academic achievement, social interaction, self- confidence and the capacity to overcome adversity. The test has been so successful in predicting adult- life achievement it is now being used by neuroscientists in brain-imaging studies to identify those neurons within the anterior prefrontal cortex of the brain that are believed to be involved in resisting temptation. It has become the focus for studies of emotional intelligence, now regarded by many psychologists as more important than IQ when it comes to academic achievement. Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotions and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth. Its expression requires sound reasoning, self- discipline, persistence, grit and determination. The concept that the ability of some four year- old children to exhibit the maturity to delay self gratification transforms them into highly successful adults is being seized upon by many different groups in society. Dieticians are looking to it for early- life clues on how to prevent teenage and adult obesity. In this regard I'm sure there are child psychologists and nutritionists who would claim that, had I not sickened myself for life of marshmallows on that balmy autumn evening almost sixty years ago, I would have continued to eat excessive numbers of them each day and in all likelihood would now be two to three times my current weight of nine and a half stone! Chief executives in the world of commerce and banking are now using the example of the marshmallow test to impress on their staff the need to refrain from short- term strategies that increase share prices but risk market collapse in the longer term. And then there are the clergymen who are embracing the general principle of self- discipline that the marshmallow test embodies when appealing to their parishioners to refrain from sin. Of course the Bible provides them with ample texts for their appeal. In addition to the ten commandments and fasting, scripture is awash with references to the importance of self-discipline. In Proverbs 25 verse 28 we read 'He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down and without walls'. In Luke 9, 23 and Mark 8, 34, Jesus made it clear that to follow him involved self denial. Calls for sobriety, temperance and resisting temptation are widespread in scripture; 'He that striveth for mastery is temperate in all things', 1 Corinthians 9, 25. 'With knowledge comes temperance, with temperance patience and with patience godliness', 2 Peter 1, 6. In this context one can visualise the innocent four- year olds sitting patiently in front of their marshmallows waiting for the Professor to return with a second one; that wait being the St. Peter gospel equivalent of godliness. In scripture the power and importance of the mind and the perceived weakness of the flesh are there too in Romans 7,25 where it states 'So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin'. In Timothy 1, 7, God is seen not as one who gave humankind the spirit of fear but of power and love and self control. Yet in language very similar to 'The back is made for the burden', 1 Corinthians 10, 13, refers to the faithfulness and considerate nature of God; 'He will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able'. With the temptation he will also 'Make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it'. The Bible informs us that self- discipline is a fruit of the spirit. So too according to Galations 5, 22, is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness and faith. But do the four- year olds who opt for deferred but enhanced gratification in the form of a second marshmallow possess all of these qualities as well? There are child psychologists and philosophers who believe that they do; their evidence is based on experiments, the results of which indicate that role model and other environmental influences in very early life, play an important part in children's ability to resist temptation, control aggression, and perform acts of kindness. Indeed the acquisition of self- discipline in small children is apparently so sensitive to environmental factors that it can be weakened by undue praise and overindulgent parenting. Of course the attainment of self-discipline and the other very laudable attributes that appear to accompany it falls short of what many Christian fundamentalist and evangelistic preachers demand. For them the fruits of the spirit are for naught unless they involve the indwelling of Christ within humankind; their cue for this assertion coming from John 15, 4, 'I am the vine, ye are the branches. He that abideth in me and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit, for without me ye can do nothing'. To an evangelist my childhood marshmallow spree and subsequent violent bout of vomiting which deterred me from ever eating another marshmallow had, in order to be real, embrace a divine dimension, akin to Paul's epiphany on the road to Damascus. Purging myself of one of the Bible's seven deadly sins, gluttony, was undoubtedly my salvation, but not in the evangelistic sense of the word. This perceived need for salvation, in the form of deliverance by redemption from the power of sin and its ensuing heartache, no doubt is a major recruiting agent for atheism. Recent letters to the press on the controversial bus advertisement stating there's probably no God, so stop worrying and enjoy your life, confirm this. The advert itself conveys the view that God is a control freak and a spoil sport; someone whose sole purpose is to prevent us enjoying ourselves. In the many forms that I have imagined God to take, a kill- joy is not one of them, yet letters to the press confirm the sentiments expressed in the advert by describing God as the man who lives in the sky and controls us; the one who promotes guilt and who judges our every move. That the advertisement's appearance coincides with the credit crunch and at a time when a little bit more self-discipline and belt- tightening rather than instant self- gratification seems warranted, is ironic. The advert is however in line with the government's desire for us to spend our money since, for many people, enjoyment necessitates spending. Thus, my instant reaction was that the advert must have been instigated by government and/or business to boost our failing economy and alleviate the personal hardship of economic recession. It turns out however that the advert is the idea of the comedy writer, Ariane Sherine, in response to seeing evangelical Christian adverts on London buses. These adverts contain quotes such as 'Jesus died for your sins' and refer to a website for further information. From the material on the website Ariane Sherine concluded that, as a non Christian, she was heading for eternal damnation and was going to 'spend all eternity in torment in hell, burning in a lake of fire'. The idea of eternal damnation being preached from the side of a bus was such an anathema to her she decided to run a counter advert and came up with 'There's probably no God, now stop worrying and enjoy your life'. No doubt in the eyes of evangelistic Christians this action has condemned her to an even more horrendous hereafter! By her own admission Ariane Sherine has always been exasperated by the idea of hell; so too am I. Given that her religious background is Unitarian on her father's side and Zoroastrian on her mother's, what I find strange in her reasoning is her claim that she couldn't bear the idea of her and her mother having to go to hell because they were non-Christian, for I very much doubt if her Unitarian father would have led her to that view. It seems to me that the message in her advert is a perfect expression of the sentiment of the child in the marshmallow test who instantly gobbled up the first marshmallow. I would have thought that from her perspective a little more research and reasoning, as is called for in the marshmallow test, would have produced a more emotionally intelligent and constructive advert; something along the lines, there probably is a God who can give additional purpose and meaning to life so stop worrying and start living. Undoubtedly what is emerging from the marshmallow test should be very important in developing new early- life role model, parenting and teaching strategies; it may even call for a return to those of the past. The importance that it places on emotional intelligence appears, at first sight, to be a new concept. But is it? It seems to me that emotional intelligence embraces many of the useful elements of religion. I'm not, for one moment, suggesting that the regulatory component of emotional intelligence, of which the enhanced benefit of deferred gratification in the marshmallow test is one example, is in some way analogous to a utopian hereafter for leading a good and well- disciplined life. We don't have to accept the existence of heaven or hell in order to enrich our lives through the conduit of emotional intelligence. Faith, in what ever form, adds meaning to life and with added meaning comes deeper reasoning and a more holistic and balanced view. This is where I would take issue with a recent correspondent to the press who, in supporting the anti-God bus advert, claimed that there doesn't have to be a purpose or meaning to life. It seems to me that without purpose and meaning life becomes futile and worthless. Outward behaviour rooted in a much deeper inner spiritual awareness or faith brings additional purpose and meaning to our lives. For want of a better word I call that inner spiritual awareness, religion. Ralph Waldo Emerson, who was left fatherless at eight years of age and was well versed in early- life self discipline, claimed that every material event in life is a lesson which the soul should take as a spiritual lesson. In that context the principles embodied in the marshmallow test are a powerful example of the benefit to the long term well being of all humanity of those elements of emotional intelligence that bring a spiritual awareness and therefore greater purpose and meaning to our everyday living. PASTORAL GREETINGSThis month eight of our members are house-bound due to illness or infirmity. We wish to reassure all our members who are prevented by circumstances from participating in Congregational events that you are always in our thoughts and that we sincerely wish you were able to be with us. We are all important to each other and our caring extends to all of us. CONGREGATIONAL POT- LUCK LUNCHWe are all invited to share in a Pot-luck Lunch on Sunday 15th March after our service celebrating the advent of Spring. A list for those wishing to dine will appear the Notice Board. THE ANNUAL GENERAL MEETINGOur Annual General Meeting takes place on Sunday 29th March, starting at 10.30 am. In addition to discussing the Annual Report and Accounts for 2008, we shall once again have to think about the issue of our future ministry. This is the principal decision making meeting of the year and, therefore a full attendance is hoped for. The Annual Report is available with this, Calendar. The Accounts are currently with the Examiner and will be distributed as soon as they are available. Please have the Report and Accounts to hand when you attend the A.G.M. FUND-RAISING EVENTS
WOMEN'S LEAGUE PROGRAMME
We wish to thank everyone who helped to
raise money for our Sightsavers Project,
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