Cricket Teas - An Institution

What would cricket be without the traditional cricket tea.  This page tries to offer an insight into their production, and some of the oddities that have been experienced.

On average the Cricketer prefers the classic stodge and sweet stuff. You can never overdo the amount of cakes/biscuits - someone will always yomp down more than their fair share, if not some clingers on/groupies are bound to finish them off.

As a guide

Whatever you do - do not buy Turkey and Ham slices from Tesco (or anywhere else). The Captain (again) managed to upset a whole lot of people by producing the aforesaid item wrapped in a slice of bread. We lost the match as most of the team seemed to be on a trip of some sort!

Also - you cannot make claims to having done the teas, when in fact the rest of the family made them. Buying the goods does not count! Once again the 2nd team Captain please take note?

Feel free to mix and match as much as necessary as most of the hungry cricketing fraternity will simply devour the lot without much fuss, let alone tasting any of it. In fact a quick first aid course on the "Heimlich Manoeuvre" is recommended.

If you have delicate skin then some rubber gloves could be useful for the washing up afterwards

The sandwich seems to be the traditional approach, and woe betide anyone who breaks with this hallowed event. I did try to make something different the other day by using Tortilla flat things and making a wrap thing with lettuce, salsa, chicken, peppers and onion. Very tasty but viewed suspiciously by some of the older ones for being a bit too nouveau. Thank god for Andy Clarke as he ate most of them, although his later stomach pumping led to some groans of worry in the middle of the field. Honest - I never put carrots in anything !

If you can get help from some lackey to come and set the teas up then you have even less work to do. This is especially useful if your Captain keeps losing the toss and you end up fielding first. His tossing is as bad as my play in general, he looks like he's got strong wrists though - must be his technique.

Although we don't often see our 'tea makers' much at the Club now, let's not forget the excellent work they put in to providing our feasts

Thank you to you all.

That's what it is like today in our Club (with a few exceptions), but what did it used to be like ?

Long gone are the days of the 'traditional' cricket tea, well in this Club anyway.  You used to have 'Tea Ladies' queuing up to serve their wares, and damn good they were.  None of your value pack cakes, no they were freshly baked that day, and with pride.  And they would stay on until after the game, socialising with the players.  So let us remember these wonderful ladies, please take a bow.  I shall name those I remember, and if I have missed any, I do apologise, let me know, and I shall get you included.  So in no particular order, just as they come to mind.