RECTOR’S LETTER
Dear Friends,
In a song that came out as long ago as 1976 Elton John wrote that ‘sorry seems to be the hardest word’. Although I know that it would have spoilt the metre of the song, I can never help but feel that he really ought to have added a small parenthesis to the effect that: ‘sorry [and actually meaning it when we say it] seems to be the hardest word’.
Because in fact we seem to hear quite a lot of the word ‘sorry’ nowadays as presidents
and prime ministers and other world leaders say that they are ‘sorry’ for various
episodes that are often long past in the history of their country, or as the leaders
of large global companies faced with potentially huge damage to their reputation
and so to their sales, apologize for some failure in their products. Just a few
months ago the president of Toyota did just that as the brakes failed on some of
his cars. But saying that we are ‘sorry’ and actually being filled with true regret
and remorse don’t always go together. Of course, when Elton John wrote his song
he was writing of the pain of a broken relationship but I’ve been reminded in this
past week, just how difficult it can be to say sorry and to mean it by two events,
both of which have resulted in consequences far more devastating than a broken love
affair: the events of so-
After 11 years of investigation the Saville Inquiry into the terrible events that took place in Londonderry on 30th January 1972 finally reported and found in its conclusions that all those killed on that day were unarmed and that paratroopers had lost control and opened fire without warning. Immediately the prime minister apologized for the actions of those British soldiers describing their actions as "unjustified and unjustifiable", and then telling the House of Commons: "What happened should never ever have happened...I am deeply, deeply sorry." It had taken some 38 years for a prime minister to utter that word ‘sorry’ and to mean it. Clearly, many others from both sides of that fractured community now need to find it within themselves to say ‘sorry’ with true conviction as well, apologizing for their part in the troubles and to all of the innocent victims and so grasping what must surely be an historic opportunity to settle bitter rivalries. As a church of Ireland bishop observed, the prime minister’s apology has seen a cloud lift from over Londonderry. It may have taken years to reach this point, and it may take many more years before there is complete peace and total reconciliation, but that little word ‘sorry’, sincerely meant, is surely the start towards that goal for both communities.
By contrast to all of this, BP’s apology for the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico seemed to be spectacularly ineffectual. There was a great outpouring of regret and contrition from first the chairman of the company and then from its chief executive. Indeed, the chairman apologized and then had to apologize for his apology by managing, as he expressed his concern, to cause even more offence to the people of the USA! But then somehow as the chief executive of BP made his appearance before a group of American congressman, he managed to say how ‘sorry’ he was, whilst at the same time making it all but impossible to work out just what he was apologizing for. Of course, it was hard not to feel a measure of sympathy at what seemed to be the bullying he received at the hands of those congressman, nor to wonder whether they and indeed we all ought to share a part of the responsibility for this disaster, given the insatiable demand that we all fuel for more and more oil, that must surely drive companies like BP to ever greater risks as they seek to tap wells that are over a mile under the sea. But the real point here is the need to say that we are sorry, truly sorry, and to really mean it, just as we teach our children to do, because that alone is what opens the way to forgiveness and so begins the process of healing and reconciliation.
So what is it that stops us from offering a heart felt apology when need demands? For world leaders it may well be political considerations and for the leaders of global companies perhaps it’s the threat posed by the great flood of litigation, both civil and criminal, that could engulf their company for years and years ahead. But when it comes to us, what stops us from saying that we’re sorry is what I tend to think of as the ‘unchildlike’ part of our nature. In other words that part of us that says ‘I’m too important to do that’. In short it all comes down to our pride and we forget what we learned as a child. It is just that part of us that has forgotten, or maybe perhaps never learned, that Jesus says that the greatest in the kingdom of heaven is the one who has been turned inside out and who has become like a child. When need arises we have to be prepared to say sorry – and more importantly – to really, really mean it.
With Christian love and prayers