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Unfunny Funnies

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were cold but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

 A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles ujp to the bar and announces “Who shot my paw”.

 A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into an hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After a while the manager came out of his office and asked them to leave. “Why” they asked, as they moved away. “Because” he said “I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer”.

 A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men, one was sitting under a tree reading a book, the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He submitted ten different puns in the hope that at least one of them would win. Unfortunately not one pun in ten did.