"I need a fuck" - Kim on urges
"Where would you fuck them? Up the arse?" - Kim on children
"It's quite ridiculous really" - Kim on the size of his penis
"You can fuck me and I am a wanker" - Kim on himself
"I don't like Jewish people" - Kim on religion
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" - Kim on film companies
"They're pretty damn big now" - Kim on his testicles
"I've had a hard-on for about three hours now" - Kim on unwanted arousal
"Sometimes I get them on the train for no reason" - Kim on unwanted arousal
"People have fallen in love with me on the train" - Kim on himself
"Wouldn't you rather be having sex now?" - Kim has a brilliant idea
"If that's five inches then I must have an enormous..." - Kim on the Imperial measurment system
"I'm a nice guy and I've got a huge penis" - Kim on himself
"Fuck off" - Kim on wasps
"Can you call me back in about six minutes? I need a wank" - extract from actual phone conversation with Kim
"I'm just gonna go have a wank now" - Kim at a friends house
"Wanking's much better when you're stoned" - Kim on drugs
"There's a lot of people who look like other people" - Kim on the world
"Dunno" - Kim on his family history
"What, my dick?" - Kim on coats
"There's this demon and he starts fucking an old lady" - Kim on music videos
"Where? Up the arse?" - Kim on parties
"I think someone fancies me" - Kim on Akio
"Stop trying to control the conversation" - Kim on catholicism
"That's not very much" - Kim on downloading 10 gigabytes of porn
"Just a little bit" - Kim on downloading 10 gigabytes of porn
"That's a bit weird" - Kim on drawing pornographic cartoons on cars
"It's not a very happy film" - Kim on the Blair Witch Project
"I hope I walk into a big lesbian orgy" - Kim on parties
"If I was a woman I'd definitely be a lesbian" - Kim on women
"It'd be better if they were naked and they were stroking their pussies" - Kim on women
"That's why we look at women's arses" - Kim on women
"If I went to every woman I saw and said, "Do you want to see me naked?", eventually one would say yes" - Kim on the law of averages
"I can't handle it" - Kim on women taking control
"It's scary" - Kim on women taking control
"I'm not confused" - Kim on himself
"You've got to try out new things" - Kim, unknown subject, possibly sexual
"Wouldn't it be embarassing to be caught wanking in someone else's house?" - Kim on stealing
"I can go to the toilet any time I like" - Kim on bananas
"I am my own religion" - Kim on himself
"It blew my dick" - Kim on the wind
"I wouldn't like a woman that pale" - Kim on fridges
"I wanted to have sex" - Kim on houseminding
"That's a bit weird" - Kim on murder
"You can't have sex with a headache" - Kim on elastic bands
"Last night I was paid fifty quid just for wanking" - Kim on being nervous
This site is plagiarised from the Harry Diviny Quotes Index.