"I'll give you all this money if you'll have sex with her hand" - Kim makes a deal
"The other day, when I saw you sucking that elephant's bollocks, was that serious?" - Kim is disturbed
"I'll never have sex with a woman again" - Kim makes a horrible realization
"You'd have to lubricate the door" - Kim on brothels
"I wish I had a girlfriend" - Kim laments
"Take it from the other end... I'll start by sucking really hard" - Kim with friends
"Did you do any more of that interview after I left?" - Kim doesn't quite grasp the extreme difficulty of carrying on an interview with someone when they aren't there
"I don't like it when they show their arses" - Kim on chimpanzees
"I really hate having to put a bowl on my arse" - Kim on fish
"I've got two tadges too" - Kim on himself
"Thank your dick" - Kim on hotdogs
"I get very scared in shorts that it might fall out, cuz then everyone could see it" - Kim on shorts
"I'll queen it no inch further, but milk my eyes and weep" - Kim doesn't mince his words
"I just heard you say a pair of tits, so I said yes" - Kim on technology
"People have influenced me by staying away" - Kim drops a hint
"You don't have fair hair because you didn't buy it at a fair" - Kim on genetics
"It's difficult to talk about my penis in the right way" - Kim on college
"Would you fuck him?" - Kim on Luke
"No it's not a joke" - Kim on rice
"I really DO like rice" - Kim on rice
"Your face... your arse... are the same thing" - Kim at a friend's house
"It's very difficult to eat pastry when you're on the phone" - Kim on the phone
"I just thought of a naked woman and then I got an erection" - Kim with a friend
"I get a bit scared that people might think I'm gay" - Kim on liking bananas
"Do I have a head? And a brain? Oh wow" - Kim has a revelation
"I'm not dumb, I'm just in a lot of pain" - Kim on himself
"I like to have fun and I like a lot of women" - Kim on himself
"I just missed my bits... *mumbles*... ARRGGHH!" - Kim on windows
"People can't handle someone of my age being playful" - Kim on himself
"I'm just having a good time" - Kim, all the time
"A woman, obviously" - Kim on what he'd like to do
"I wouldn't make it do weird sex acts" - Kim on pets
"Umm... what country was Stalin from?" - after hazarding a guess at Spain and Germany, Kim's knowledge of world history fails him
This site is plagiarised from the Harry Diviny Quotes Index.