Two years down the line Billy Billy 5P are back with a belter of an album entitled, "A Pony Must Be Tilted." It served as a benchmark for all future 5P releases as it is packed to the nines with hits. The opening track "Albino Dog" remains a firm favourite with the fans, as too are the Radio Jingles, recorded as a gift for a hospital radio station in Barrow-in-Furness. Billy swears that, "The Septuagenarian Space Adventurer" is one of the finest songs he has ever written. I would not disagree. This album is also notable for the sudden introduction of Barry Eno on a couple of instrumental numbers.

Another two years pass by and it is 1997. Billy Billy 5P have written a musical which would later be named, "The Shellfish Gene." It is whilst they are on location writing this beast that they happen upon an outlet pipe under a small paddling pool next to a caravan park. It just so happens that this pipe has all the acoustic properties they have been thinking about. In a true "Kids From Fame" type moment they set up with what limited instruments they can muster and record their next album, "LFTOPUSPPHCP" right there - live and direct. Altogether they record six songs from their musical and capture the moment very well. You can clearly hear children splashing around in the paddling pool above and at one stage a delivery van drives past. For me this just adds to the atmosphere of what must have been an incredible sight to behold - an incredible band on top form making a mockery of that difficult third album.

Two years pass. Billy gets itchy feat. The two-year gap between 5P releases has long since been established as the norm and the fans are starting to talk of a split. Almost out of the blue comes "Richard Hawes and the L.I.S.3." a nearly listenable acoustic adventure in time, and indeed, space. It was during the recording of this album that Billy took up the clarinet and you bet your life that it rears its ugly head on a couple of the finer tracks. Reportedly this effort took only half an hour to write and record which is strange as the album itself lasts for almost 45 minutes. My personal favourite has to be track 9, the incredible, "Cake Of Blood And Sand" and the other one that actually has words of some description is track 3, "Her Hair Was The Height Of An Angel Delight."

Billy admits himself that the "Dickie Hawes" album was, by their standards, a very poor effort indeed. When later questioned on a radio interview about just this matter he said, "The sound quality was poor and the words and the music were all a bit rubbish too." He went on to say, "It reminds me a little of Queen's album, "Hot Space" which many critics dismiss as their attempt to go disco or what have you… It's actually not that bad - it just starts bad. They put all the crap songs at the front whereas if they had just done what they normally do and started with a belter and then space the crap songs out a bit then nobody would have noticed. Now "The Game" is crap. It has far, far more crap songs on it than "Hot Space" but you don't realise because it has more genuine hits on it than any other Queen album. I can't listen to it at all to be honest. Does that make me a bad person? The "Dickie Hawes" album is slightly different to "Hot Space" though, in that it was totally crap."

Boom! It's the year 2000 and Billy Billy 5P are back with "Pomp and Stomp" their first new material for three years and by God it's a pearler. At the time Barry Eno described it as, "a return to form after four shit albums." Franco Blades went on record to say, "We were all very nervous. Financially the "Dickie Hawes" debacle was a total disaster and it had been three years since that release. Everyone in the offices of Hoven Cloof were - well, we were all really worried. We needed Billy to come up with the goods or our heads were on the block. Anyway, as soon as we listened to the preview tapes we new we were home free. And we were right. It's a belter of an album…"

My favourite track from this album is a lovely little tune called, "Walnuts." Almost immediately upon it's release, it fuelled enormous speculation as to the origin of it’s title. "Why have Billy Billy 5P called their nice song Walnuts?" became the year 2000’s most frequently asked question posted on chat rooms in Takohama, Japan – fact.

Anyhoo, "Pomp and Stomp" is great and all that so what happened next?

Two years pass and surely they can… and surely they do, with "Bi-Claudius" the most astonishing release of 2002. This has to be my favourite of all the Billy Billy 5P albums to date. It is everything you want from an album. It starts off with one of Billy's most incredible songs to date, "Farmer 'D' " and surprises you until you turn it off. Its Brilliant!

I recently was introduced to both Franco Blades and Gary Crant, CUNK International's Director of Marketing and Promotions, at a 5P convention, held in Takohama, Japan. Black Melvin was guest speaker. He held his audience spellbound for over two hours reading extracts from his forthcoming autobiography, "Irish Arms, Pirate Heart" and then took questions from the audience. He answered a large number of questions concerning the recording sessions of "Bi-Claudius," in particular Farmer 'D'. Melvin said, "Billy and I listened to it recently, and he reckons that he couldn't have just sat down and written that song - it just sort of had to happen." Franco Blades told me that he'd been in the studio in the weeks when the final mixes were edited together and he swears that Billy makes everyone wear slippers on set, apparently to make him feel, "at home".

Two more years pass by. The world around us is a changing and the marketing men at Billy 5P HQ didn't just sit back and watch. No way, Jose. For months Gary Crant, CUNK International's Director of Marketing and Promotions, made wild promises to the fans of a re-mastered Billy Billy 5P song collection. It was now June in the year of Our Lord 2004 and so far this hadn't materialised. With no new 5P material on the cards for some time and this much-anticipated compilation apparently on the back burner, Mr Crant was sensing a lynching. In an attempt to maintain the profile of his main client, and keep the fan-club off his back, Gary persuades L.O.O.H.M. Records to sign "The Australian Billy Billy 5P Tribute Band" for a one off Charity album. So that's what they did. The result was the, "Band aid style" CD album "Charity" which was released, practically unannounced, on L.O.O.H.M. Records that July. Ironically, in terms of units shifted, this album was without doubt the label's most successful release ever. They didn't make a penny. Jesus. Billy submitted the vocals on track 2, a cover of Turning Japanese by the Vapors. Another stand out track is a cover of the Human League's "Don't You Want Me Baby?" remixed up to the nines by, none other than, DJ The Neische. The whole thing makes me smile. Is that a bad thing? Now I don't know what to think.

Well where are we now? The year is 2006, it's a Tuesday and we are still not up to date. That morning I got a knock on the door. On the other side was the postman and he was knocking because he wanted me to open the door for him. "Strange," I thought, "I wonder what this can be?" I got back in and sat me sen at the breakfast bar to open her up and have a peep. I couldn't believe it! It was almost twelve months late but it was finally here. It was a CD copy of the much anticipated Billy Billy 5P Song collection. As with all other 5P releases it was on L.O.O.H.M. Records and had been given the title, "Neither Work Nor Leisure: Vol. 1."

The first four Billy Billy 5P albums are unfortunately no longer commercially available so, in conjunction with the fans, L.O.O.H.M. Records have gathered together some of the finer cuts. While they were at it they also tidied them up a bit, threw in some of the best bits from "Pomp and Stomp" and some previously unavailable radio sessions, digitally re-mastered the lot and stuck a fancy cover on the front. It works a treat - even better than I thought it would. I remember filling out a questionnaire at a 5P gig about two years ago, asking the fans to detail which tracks they would like to have included on such a compilation. This has included most of the tracks I chose apart from Albino Dog, which has strangely been omitted for some reason or other. That aside though this is the bollocks and, as the title suggests, there must be a Vol. 2 still to come.

Well I don't know what happened up at 5P towers but next thing we know there are rumours running rife on the internet of the existence of a very limited edition EP changing hands for literally hundreds of Yen. It then became apparent that it did actually exist - for real! I understand that it was a joint venture at 5P Tower where Franco Blades and Black Melvin had combined forces to manufacture and distribute a promotional EP for radio execs and DJs throughout the world. Anyhoo somehow or other some of these ended up changing hands on the black market. Next thing you know chat rooms across the globe are asking, "When is it going to be in the shops?" I have heard from some sources very close to the Hoven Cloof operation, that the whole thing may have been a calculated "leak" to keep the punters happy while the any new 5P material lay on the back burner. "It wasn't ever supposed to be officially released," remained the official stance, however, the fans created such a fuss that Melvin had some extra ones printed up. He kept the name, "Extracts For Radio EP" which is alright I suppose.... There are six tracks on here and, in all honesty, it's one of my favourite thngs.

David Salmon - superfan.