THE LAST time I was in the main hall at the Lightwaves Leisure Centre I was defending the YEP goalmouth against an onslaught from our colleagues at the Wakefield Express.
This is some years ago. My five-a-side outings are now limited to the occasional friendly kickabout with a few mates. Those inter-press matches were certainly not friendly encounters, with journalists scrapping for the ball like Fleet Street hacks fighting to be first with a world exclusive.
When I popped in on Thursday evening that same goalmouth was now the White Rose Bar – stocked to the gunwales with interesting 6eers from around Yorkshire. Down our right flank were two bars of Welsh and Scots ales, while our left wing was dominated by 6eers from around the Wakefield area.
Funnily enough, I bumped into a couple of old soccer-playing mates – Dave "Bite Yer Legs" Marsh and Andy "Break Yer Legs" Green – who had decided to try at least one beer from each of the four bars.
First up was the truly horrible Offa's Dyke Ale (4.3 per cent ABV) from the Plassey Brewery near Wrexham. Although quite bright of colour and with a nice enticing aroma, this one managed to taste almost exclusively of epoxy resin. "They should never have let it over the dyke," said Andy, dashing to the Scots bar for something a little more palatable.
He returned with some glasses of the darker Ben Nevis Ale (4 per cent ABV) from the City of Stirling Brewery. This one was sweeter, maltier and with some gentle hints of liquorice to the taste. Which beats industrial-strength glue, at any rate.
Next up was Hebden Wheat (4.5 per cent ABV) from the Little Valley Brewery at Hebden Bridge, which was typically cloudy, like you'd expect of a wheat beer, though without the cheek-sucking astringency which some of these beers possess. Very easy drinking, this one, as was my final selection, the smooth and pale Pearl's A Ringer (4.2 per cent ABV) from the newly-established WF6 Brewery at Altofts.
The event is the 15th annual Wakefield 8eer Festival organised by the local branch of CAMRA. It moved to the leisure centre two years ago, after out-growing its long-time home at the city hall.
Wakefield's local brews are well represented with Classic Brunette and Hammerhead from Clark's; Santiam and Excelsior from Ossett; White Lion and Chardonnayle from the Red Lion Brewery at Horbury; Dark Wheat Mild and Dropped Pearl from Tigertops at Flanshaw and four beers from city centre outfit Fernandes.
Fernandes' own brewery tap also features on a 15-pub real ale pub crawl suggested by CAMRA in their festival programme. It is billed as "for the over-18s", which is a slight dig at the city's infamous "Westgate Run" pub crawl, which appeals more to the, shall we say, younger drinker.
Anyhow, the CAMRA crawl starts just beside the Light Waves centre at the York Street, and winds in a giant loop back to the College, by way of the Labour Club, Six Chimneys, Harewood Arms, Fernandes Brewery Tap, Harry's Bar, Henry Boon's, Redoubt, White Hart, Wagon, Inns of Court, Elliotts Bar, Black Rock and the Talbot and Falcon.
But for now at least, there's the festival, and – so long as you are reading this on Saturday – there is still time for you to catch its final session, as it stays open until last orders tonight.
The logistics of organising an event like this are fairly scary, as bar manager Albert Bradbury explained: "We've been planning this since May," he said. "We've got 150 beers on in total, we've had to arrange transport and deliveries and we've got between 70 and 80 volunteers working on and off throughout the week – and they've come from different CAMRA branches around the region.
"The Light Waves centre is ideal for us. A lot of beer festivals are limited in size because they just can't find a suitable venue."
And though the cavernous sports hall might lack something of the genuine alehouse atmosphere, it sure makes up for it with the sheer range of beers on offer.