Last autumn two suspicious men around the streets were seen,
A spade upon each shoulder oh they really did look mean,
Through twitching curtains people watched afraid to
venture out,
Whenever these two characters were loitering about.   
 
They lurked on every avenue in alleyway and nook,
With sack in hand containing precious gems they must have took,
A motley pair of villains they appeared to village folk,
And when they started digging holes it went beyond a joke.

These holes appeared all o' the place it really was obscene,
They dug up all our verges, round the Cross and on the Green, 
To bury their ill-gotten gains it must have been for sure, 
As furtively they set about this dubious looking chore.
 
Surprisingly they vanished just as quickly as they came,
And people soon forgot about their sly and secret game,
Then suddenly the springtime came and brightened up our lives,
Our village was transformed into a jewel before our eyes.
 
Now Collingham's so colourful it really is quite clear,
Where holes were dug now daffodils and crocuses appear,
And with their task quite over to you all I can reveal,
'Twas Village Care bulb planters honest Don and trusty Neil.

The Phantom Scribbler 1999