Bale Pushing —the story so far………..

The Origin of the Bale

 

It has been universally accepted that the straw bale is a relatively modern creation, but recent research has revealed otherwise.

 

Professors Eustice and Tomlinson from the Institute of Ineptitude and Useless Information (IIUI) in Bristol have made a startling discovery in the centre of Crantock village.  It appears that the large oblong “stone” at Green Grass Triangle (that has long been accepted as a fossilised (and obviously painful) dinosaur dropping), is in fact a fossilised straw bale. Carbon dating and X-rays have now revealed that “Early man” was far more resourceful than previously imagined.  However, early-man’s frustration at pushing such an awkward shaped bale must have eased immeasurably following the invention of the wheel, and consequently round shaped bales.  This alone must have revolutionised Cornish Bale Pushing.

 

There are several other ‘Old Fossils’ within the Parish boundary and the research team promise to report on the results of their findings following proposed interviews with those self-same fossils.  See below…………………….

What is Straw?

 

Straw is the stalk of a grain plant from which the seed head has been harvested.  Many different types of grain can be made into straw bales; wheat, rye, rice, oats or barley to name but a few.  The stalk is harvested and tied into bales using two or three strings to bind them.  Straw bales are different to hay bales in that straw is higher in silica content and lower in organic matter, and has no nutritional value.  Straw bales are usually round to allow them to be pushed around villages

How it all began

 

Way back in the last century, the idea for a big bale push in Crantock came from local Farmer, Chris Eustice.

 

Once the seed of the idea was sown, and grown-on by Chris,  he discussed it with a few locals in various hostelries (Including the Treguth, the Old Albion, and the Cornishman).  He continued to nurture, harvest and eventually bale the idea until he finally discussed it with another local man, John Richards (Casey) who immediately saw its potential merits.

 

A fairly hilarious test push was organised and four local worthies (locally known as Kittsy, Casey, Millsy and Tim Eustice) formed a team. 

 

Ably assisted by a flag-waving Jim Hardy, and with Chris as the mobile marshall—directing proceedings and alerting unsuspecting passers-by— a push was achieved around the proposed circuit. 

 

Three short weeks later, with the valuable assistance of local sponsors and supporters, BIG BALE PUSH 2000 was organised.  That first event raised over £800 and Crantock had a new annual charity event—the rest, as they say, is history.

Crantock: Olympic Bid 2016.

 

Inspired by the success of London 2012, and now confident in their ability to run large events following many successful Bale Pushes, the committee plan to launch an audacious bid to host the 2016 Olympic Games in Crantock.  All the details of this bid have not yet been released, however a rough plan has been drawn up:

 

The main event will of course be a Bale Push around the traditional course, and training schemes are being set up around the world to cope with this new event.  Athletics will take part at ’Halwyn Parc Arena’ behind the village hall.  The playing field will easily accommodate the events although javelin throwers will be asked to avoid passing traffic and athletes will be asked to stay off the cricket pitch.

Swimming and tennis will take part at the Crantock Bay Hotel, with Football and Hockey on the Cubert School pitch.  The Village Hall is expected to host the Gymnastics event.

The committee have decided to discontinue Basketball and Baseball as the Americans always win these; instead, new events will be introduced in which Britain can be expected to gain medals.  Therefore archery will be replaced with darts in the Old Albion and snooker on the Cornishman’s pool table. 

 

The Bowgie’s patio will be used for weightlifting events although competitors must be careful not to exceed the 25Kg permitted under Health and Safety regulations.  Committee members are said to be particularly excited at the prospect of Beach Volleyball on Crantock Beach, a venue that will also host the sailing (tides permitting).  Rowing will be carried out on Trenance Boating Lake and the rabbits on Rushey Green should be ideal for the target-shooting events.  The Trevowah Farm velodrome will be the venue for Cycling events once the cattle have been cleared out, and boxing will take place in the traditional venue—outside the pubs at closing time.

 

There will be plenty of accommodation for the new Olympic Village, although some competitors may need to bring their own tents.  (Others will have to supply their own towels and sheets.)

 

Transport links will be provided by a sophisticated ’Tractor and Trailer’ system. 

 

Whilst President Chirac’s views on the food in Crantock are unknown, the committee believe that Crantock Bakery’s Pasties will be enough to put Crantock as early bookies favourites ahead of Baghdad, Kabul, Timbuktu and Paris.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF BALE PUSHING

 

The discovery of traces of an ancient bale pushing track at the Halwyn Park archaeological dig has prompted the organising committee to appoint a historical sub-committee in order to look into the origins of the event. It has been discovered that the Bale Push is older than we first thought……..

 

101 AD - Bale pushing arrives in Britain. Evidence shows that the Coliseum in Rome was designed specifically for the event known as ‘Baleum Rotatum’ which was bought to the British Isles by Legionnaires. Until the end of Roman rule the pushing of bales was rivalled only by bear baiting as the most popular sport in Britain.

 

500 - 750 - The sport arrives in Cornwall as Celts are forced out of England by the arrival of Saxons and Vikings whose preference for Cheese rolling (and, to a lesser extent pillaging) makes life intolerable for Bale Push enthusiasts.

 

1066 - The Norman conquest means the end for pushing in England, the sport is kept alive by enthusiasts in Cornwall.

 

1288 - Bale pushing increases in popularity, a Royal Charter is issued by Edward I;

 

 “ the village of Crantocke…..to establyshe a market playce for the sale of pastyes and ale and for bayles to be raced thereabouts..”

 

1347 - King Edward III outlaws Bale Pushing, it is thought that the activity is distracting  the people from their Archery practice. The policy bears dividends at the battles of Crecy, Poitiers and later Agincourt.  However the quality of pushing at the 1348 Cornish championships proved disappointing.

 

1460 - Bale pushing is legalised, unfortunately the 1461 event ends in controversy. The House of York Surf Life Saving Team accuse the House of Lancaster Life Savers of tampering with their bale. Historians widely agree that this is a major factor contributing to the Wars of the Roses.

 

1588 - The Spanish Armada cunningly time their arrival to coincide with the 1588 championships. Sir Francis Drake finishes his run before departing to defeat the invaders. This story has altered over time, possibly due to the similarity in the words “bowls” and “bales”.

 

1645 - Concerned that Oliver Cromwell might outlaw Bale Pushing as well as Christmas, Cornish Bale pushers support the Royalists in the Civil War. A contingent sent to the Battle of Naesby fails to arrive when they realise that Tigers are playing at home in nearby Leicester. This proved a good plan as the battle “turned a bit nasty”. However Cromwell bans bale pushing in England and the sport is again confined to Cornwall.

 

1913 - Inspired by the Suffragette movement a successful campaign is mounted for the inclusion of a women’s event in the National Championships. The committee bowed to the pressure when reminded;

 

“if you do not  comply with our demands you will need to find  your own dinner in future.”

 

1940 - In the event of invasion, Crantock Home Guard develop a plan to push explosive bales down the dunes into the path of advancing Panzers. This plan is never put into operation but some of the bales are thought to be still in existence, which could lead to some excitement at this year’s event.

 

ANOTHER THEORY AS TO WHERE IT ALL BEGAN…..

 

As promised three years ago Professors Eustice and Tomlinson of Bristol University have continued their research into Bale history.

 

Despite interviewing and analysing dozens of old fossils in the Parish, very little new evidence has come to light. Happily however, a colleague of Tomlinson is in charge of the Silbury Hill excavation in Wiltshire and he has come up with some startling new evidence.

 

The team have discovered a tablet with some strange, almost hieroglyphic writings on it.  Now we know that primitive man communicated with signs and rudimentary grunts and growls, which many of us may still hear in The Albion or The Cornishman on a Friday night.

 

Once these writings were deciphered it was discovered that the tablet gave quite lucid instructions on “How to roll your own” and since the discovery of tobacco was still many centuries away we may reasonably deduce that it was to do with bale rolling - thus furthering our knowledge of early bale technology.

 

Quite coincidentally and not many miles away at Stonehenge the earliest known graffiti has been translated as “Down with gravity” which may throw light on many modern accepted theories

 

How to push a bale—the hard way!

 

1. Register as a team on Big Bale Push day.

2. Ignore the fact that modern bales are round to make them easier to race

3. Do your own thing……………….

 

 

All our pictures are kindly provided by The Newquay Voice

 

They also take part in the races too…………………...