You Have To Be Red To Be Green: Basic Loony Lefty Philosophy
The fundamental issue of politics and economics is the question of who gets what, when, and how. The world has limited resources; these have to be taken out of the earth, made into things, consumed and then disposed of. It is the duty of humankind as a whole to ensure that these scarce resources are used and shared in a rational way, so that everybody can have a fair share of food, water, shelter, warmth, culture and work. It is better that these be developed and organised on scientific principles, instead of people having to fight for them. If things are produced for use and not for profit, then there should be enough in the world to enable everybody to have a fulfilling life, including adequate health care, education, and pensions and support in old age.
You Have To Be Green To Be Red: The Energy and Climate Crisis
The most urgent issue facing the world now, and in the next few decades, is the danger of climate change and global warming, and the associated need to find renewable sources of energy to replace carbon emissions from fossil fuels, in order to create a sustainable world economy. The current dependence on oil, coal and gas is exacerbating global warming at a much more rapid rate than in previous centuries. If it is not tackled urgently, then there will be deforestation, drought, famine, loss of food-producing land, mass movements of people across the globe, and the refugee crises and wars which will inevitably be associated with them. Oil is rapidly running out and we have probably already reached the peak flow point, beyond which it will become more and more difficult to find new deposits to replace those which are being depleted. International agreement is urgently needed to reduce carbon emissions, possibly by selling or subsidising quotas between different countries, and to invest in the development of sustainable renewable energy sources such as wind, wave, tide and solar energy. The urgency of the need to reduce fossil fuel emissions is so great that it may be necessary to maintain or increase nuclear energy provision as an interim source before renewable sources can be developed.
There should be increased taxes on petrol, to force motorists to pay according to the pollution they produce, and to discourage long-distance transportation of goods which can be produced locally. There should be taxes on excess packaging and on unnecessary plastics, so that landfill, oceans or animals won’t be poisoned. The rainforests must be preserved, and deforestation, which is often done for short-term profit or for land-intensive meat farming, must be drastically reduced.
Internationalism and National Independence: Two Sides Of The Same Thought
Co-existence and harmonious development have to be achieved through peaceful co-operation between independent sovereign states on the basis of equality of esteem and mutual respect. Small, poor countries and their peoples have as much validity as rich, powerful ones; the latter must not abuse their strength to bully or intimidate the former, or to constrain them into subjective norms of political or social systems. Each country is entitled to national self-defence, independence and self-determination in fulfilling the needs of its people.
The existing nuclear-armed countries do not have the right to dictate to other countries that they are not allowed to have their own nuclear deterrents, and must not be allowed to use the bogus issue of “non-proliferation” to preserve their own historical monopoly. It should be remembered that the United States of America has stated that it reserves the right to use nuclear weapons on a first-use basis, against non-nuclear states, or to “end” conventional wars, whereas the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (for example) has stated that it will only use nuclear weapons against other nuclear powers, and only if it is attacked first. We applaud the DPRK’s stance in defending its own system in the face of threats, blockades and sanctions which have been imposed by the USA or the United Nations.
Any changes to the social system or democratic reforms within countries such as North Korea, Iran, Zimbabwe or Burma (for example) must come from within those countries themselves, and must not be demanded or dictated from outside by threats or sanctions.
Withdraw from the European Union
The United Kingdom should preserve its national independence as a constitutional monarchy, and withdraw from the European Union, trading and co-operating with other European countries. I am against the EU, and pro-European. I have travelled in many European countries, studied European languages, and I rejoice in the thousands of years of European civilisation, art, history and culture. It is a tragedy, therefore, that half of the continent of Europe is being strangled by the wasteful, bureaucratic, corrupt, undemocratic and unaccountable institutions of the European Union. The MEPs in the European Parliament are elected, but they are not the ones with the power. The rules, regulations and directives are made by unelected and unaccountable Commissioners and civil servants, whom we have not elected and cannot remove. British businesses, farmers, and the fishing fleet have been overburdened by regulations, directives and quotas.
The Monarchy
The Monarchy is a vital constitutional safeguard of our nation's traditional liberty and democracy, and is a focus for national pride and loyalty for hundreds of years. Her Majesty the Queen has a lifetime of experience in her duty and devotion to the people. The monarchy voluntarily surrenders, to the Exchequer, the income from the Crown Estates. This far exceeds the entire Civil List and cost of the royal family, palaces, upkeep, train and ceremonies. It is scandalous that funding of the monarchy has been reduced by so much already.
There should be proper increased funding of all the royals and their public and ceremonial activities. We will restore the Royal Yacht and the Royal Tournament, and recognise that the Monarchy pays far more to the taxpayer than vice versa. There should be a public information programme to teach people what a lovely and friendly hard-working person Prince Harry is, and to dispel the media lies of the tabloids which pretend that he is some sort of spoilt anti-social drugged-up hooligan. The Queen should use, or threaten to use, the Royal Veto occasionally in order to protect our nation’s heritage and freedom from being eroded and crumbled by the current authoritarian and iconoclastic shambles of a government.
Immigration
Each immigrant has one mouth but two hands. Immigrants to the UK are predominantly young, hard-working, skilled adults who fill important gaps in the economy in filling useful jobs and providing taxpayers' support for the growing retired population. Many of them have professional qualifications, and most of them do not provide a burden on the benefit system or the public services. I reject the unnecessarily restrictive immigration policies of the UKIP and the BNP, and I welcome the contribution which immigrants make to the economy of the UK as well as in numerous cultural spheres. There should be no artificial quotas on the number of asylum seekers or immigrants; we should allow free flow of labour to meet economic demands, and allow asylum seekers to work legally so that they can support themselves with dignity instead of relying on benefits.
Strengthen and Enhance Democracy
The introduction of Proportional Representation by Single Transferable Vote (STV) will radically improve democratic accountability of parliament, scrutiny of legislation, accountability of governments and ministers, will more accurately produce a balance of representing the different views of the people, and will increase the choice of voters at elections and choice of representatives after elections. It will stimulate diversity and choice by enabling voters to choose between different candidates of the same party, and deter party leaders from imposing candidates who are not wanted locally. Replacing First-Past-The-Post by STV will mean that a single party will be less likely to have a huge overall majority in the House of Commons, and will therefore be less likely to enact unpopular laws which are badly thought out, like the poll tax or knee-jerk so-called “anti-terrorism” laws. STV will also reinvigorate local democracy and will prevent single-party domination in some local authorities. Under FPTP, it is not uncommon for a party with only half the votes to get almost all the seats in a local council.
Instead of a presidential-style Mayor of London, the Greater London Assembly should have its own elected leader who would be accountable to the GLA on a day-to-day basis. The county boundaries which were established in the 1970s should be preserved, and the structure of local government should move towards a unitary single-tier model, so that accountability of local councils will be clearer. District councils will be able to co-operate on strategic matters at a county or regional level. The Council Tax should be replaced by a local income tax. I am against English devolution; as a Unionist I want to be ruled by the United Kingdom Parliament.
Education
It is scandalous that there has been continuous grade inflation in A-Levels and GCSEs for the last twenty years, even though there has been no real improvement in the amount of knowledge learnt. Instead of training children to pass artificial tests, SATs, schools should teach children a basic background of facts and knowledge in history, geography, mathematics, science, and correct understanding of grammar and punctuation. Children should be taught about cultural differences, including knowledge of various religious traditions, without being indoctrinated in any one particular faith. In order to stimulate a proper system of teaching arithmetic, we should restore pounds, shilling and pence.
Social Policies
Crime
There should be strict punishments in the first instance for people who carry knives or guns. Too often, youngsters are merely given cautions or token punishments, and the courts do not get serious until someone is killed. There should be a higher tax on alcohol, which is the main ingredient of social disorder and hooliganism, and there should be a much more visible presence of police and security officers in the high street on Friday or Saturday nights. I am against the legalisation of cannabis, because it is a gateway drug to cocaine and heroin, and because it is dangerous in damaging physical and mental health. Prison conditions should be humane and constructive to rehabilitation. Criminals should go to prison as punishment, not for punishment.
Abortion
Abortion should be available on demand to those women who need it. The current system requiring authorisation by two doctors only serves to delay the process; that unnecessary delay causes extra emotional and medical difficulties for all those involved. Wherever possible, terminations should be at an early stage of pregnancy. The legal limit may have to be reduced from 24 to about 20 weeks.
Chocolate
Free chocolate (and vegan alternatives) will be provided for pensioners, students, the unemployed and low-income groups. This will be integrated into the benefits system and will complement the Loony health strategy.
Taxation
A Loony government will abolish inheritance tax. Life savings of the elderly have already been taxed during their working lives, and they should be allowed the dignity of passing on their savings and property to their children and grandchildren. We should maintain a healthy balance between indirect/stealth taxes and direct/income tax, to maintain proper investment in public services. (The good thing about stealth taxes is that people are less aware of paying them).
Culture and Sport
Money from the national lottery should be diverted to reward gorgeous people such as Peter Phillips, Daniel Radcliffe, Alex Pettyfer and Prince Harry. Handsome American actors such as Matt Damon or Austin Butler should be encouraged to settle in the UK and be on television more often. Golf courses should be subjected to a punitive tax and many should be converted to more productive land use such as woodland, pond or nature reserves. We will make the Millennium Bridge wobbly again, and will celebrate the next millennium at the correct date (1st January 3001) instead of a year early.
International Issues
Israel and Palestine should be two equal independent states on the basis of the 1967 boundaries. Israel must withdraw from the favourable positions of occupation in the West Bank which give them a monopoly of the best areas of land and water supplies; it must not be allowed to redraw the border unilaterally by means of the so-called security wall. It may be possible for the two states to form a confederation and move towards a single state in the long term, as long as the national and cultural identities of the two communities are protected.
North and South Korea should develop bilateral co-operation, trade, cultural exchanges and economic collaboration, possibly leading to national reunification, as a result of the political decisions of the two states and their people. There should be no interference or coercion from outside by third countries, or conditions of subjugation or unequal domination imposed by threats or sanctions.
The UK and other western countries should withdraw troops immediately from Iraq and Afghanistan. The internal difficulties within those countries are not relevant to the security or safety of people in the UK, and the tragic on-going death toll of British soldiers is serving no purpose in safeguarding liberty or security.I have never seen or heard any persuasive evidence that Libya was involved in any way in the Lockerbie bombing, and I have always believed that Abdelbaset Ali Mohamed al-Megrahi was innocent. It is right that he was released from prison before he died, albeit for the wrong reason, but there needs to be a full enquiry into the mystery of who committed the atrocity, and why and how Mr Megrahi was persuaded to drop his appeal.
Civil Liberties
The biggest danger of gradual building of fascism in the UK at the moment comes not from the BNP, but from the Labour government itself. The police are increasingly out of control in the extent to which they use violence to clamp down on dissent and demonstrations. The murder of Jean Charles de Menezes, the manslaughter of Ian Tomlinson at the G20 protests, the excessive violence used against peaceful protesters, the tactic of kettling which entraps innocent passers-by for hours, stop-and-search of young people, and the prevention of people travelling, are all methods which have been used with increasing frequency and have sometimes been ruled illegal by the courts. The collective mindset of the forces of the state is such that any form of dissent is potentially regarded as criminal, terrorist, or violent. Minority groups such as Muslims, environmentalists, or socialists are targeted by raids, surveillance, and are more likely to be searched, arrested, or subjected to house arrest.
There must be an end to house arrest orders, no detention without trial beyond seven days, and an end to the scapegoating of minority communities. Those who have collaborated with the Americans in torture or extraordinary rendition must be brought to justice with no amnesty. There must be an end to the unfair terms of the extradition agreement which has allowed the extradition of people without any prima facie case being presented to a British court.
The proposed ID card scheme must be scrapped completely. It is a huge waste of money, it would be ineffective in the fight against crime or terrorism, and is the smokescreen for a huge database of information about citizens by which the authorities would routinely fine people for trivial reasons whenever they forget or fail to update their address or details.
The government says that the London bombs of 7th July 2005 were a “wake up call” which highlighted the need for new “security” measures. But before then, we were being frequently warned that terrorist attacks on London were “inevitable”, and that it was a question of “when, not if”. If this is so, why were these new draconian laws not being proposed years ago? The reason is that an unpopular government needs to find ever more drastic methods to entrench its own position, tighten the stranglehold of the reactionary establishment, oppress the ordinary people, and marginalise a variety of scapegoated minority communities. The way out of this crisis is for the people of this country to grasp in their own hands the historical liberties which have been taken from them. The resistance against the new totalitarianism will eventually become irresistible! The Loony Party is a Revolutionary Vanguard for Freedom! The OMRLP will unleash the fury of the masses as a mighty force for the protection of this freedom!
Normalisation of the Countryside
The Loony Party is committed to the long-term happiness and harmony of the people and of the nation. No government can stay in power for very long if it neglects its duty to maintain this harmony. Accordingly, we do not take lightly the task, and we do not follow the mentality of others who make cheap promises and indulge in short-term tinkering for petty party advantage. History shows that governments which think long-term prevail, and that regimes which only care about themselves are inevitably cast away by the invigorating winds of destiny.
For too many decades, governments of the vacuous and degenerate Labour and Conservative parties have failed to tackle the one over-riding distortion which exists in the fabric of our national life and culture. It is a stain on the fabric and the warp and weft which knits our society together, and the future prosperity of the people can only be ensured by a sustained programme of re-adjustment which will alleviate the distortion and strengthen the spirit of unity and optimism of the population.
Most of us live in towns and cities. We have relatively easy access to buses, trains, or trams and can do our shopping, working and leisure activities within a convenient locality. We do not need to pollute the atmosphere with fumes from the petrol from driving cars across vast distances, from one town to another, to avail ourselves of basic social conveniences like bookshops, libraries, internet rooms, cinemas or political meeting-places. We interact with each other every day and lead happy, meaningful and constructive lives.
There is, however, a substantial minority of the population made up of sad and lonely individuals who do not have the same advantages as us normal people. They live in small and isolated groups in remote places called “villages” or “farms”, or on rugged offshore islands. Many of them live 100 miles or more from the nearest railway station or bus-stop, and have to drive in their cars (or even “tractors” sometimes) to do even the most basic of everyday things, like going to the shops to buy some chocolate biscuits, or going to a library to borrow a book about Marxist theory. In many cases, these peculiar people also have to struggle up and down steep hills or across muddy fields or hedges to get anywhere. If they don’t own a car, they can only catch a bus about once a week.
The abnormal lifestyle which these warped and depraved countryside people follow, and the strange fumes which exist in the countryside air, cause many of them to suffer from unfortunate ailments, including red necks, rough pink cheeks, swivel-eyes, reactionary political views, a preference for smelly cheeses, home-made bread or lumpy jam, and mental disorders such as a bizarre fetish for wearing tweed, or for riding horses and slaughtering foxes just for the fun of it. The tragedy of this situation is that a lot of these people are so twisted in their attitudes that they have, amazingly, come to believe that their lifestyle is somehow normal, natural or reasonable.
The OMRLP is not prepared to collaborate with the Lib-Lab-Con-trick parties in allowing this situation to continue. The unfortunate people who live in these conditions should not be left to fester and wallow in their desperation. They should be helped, not ignored. Those who are suffering from delusions should be cured, not pampered. For this purpose, the next Loony government will begin a strategic Thirty Year Plan to bring about the Complete Normalisation of the countryside. The farmers, peasants, bumpkins and weirdos who live there will be resettled in towns and cities. The suburban areas of most of our towns and cities will be expanded to accommodate them. To encourage the countryside people to become normal like the rest of us, we will phase out all subsidies to farmers and will no longer pay them not to grow things. The tax on petrol for cars in rural areas will be increased above the level of urban areas. Fox-hunting will be banned.
The process of Normalisation will eventually bring the nation to a situation in which all the bumpkins have been cured, resettled, or otherwise disposed of. We will reach a time when nobody will want to live in the countryside in a village or on a farm any more, and there will therefore no longer be any need for any compulsion or persuasion. Ultimately, the entire population will be living prosperous and constructive lives, and will rejoice in the freedom and diversity of their new harmonious normal existence. Those who have been normalised will look back in wonder at their former deranged situation, and will be eternally grateful for the open-mindedness and wisdom of the Loony Party leadership for rescuing them from their incorrect lifestyles. The tragedy is that the other parties have not yet made any proper plan or concerted effort to tackle the blight of this problem.