WAAAAGH!!!
Worldwide Association for the Assessment, Appreciation
and Advancement of Gorgeousness and Hunkiness
Affiliated to the Croydon branch of the OMRLP is the Worldwide Association for the Assessment, Appreciation and Advancement of Gorgeousness and Hunkiness (WAAAAGH!!!) which, since 1998, has been carrying out detailed objective and scientific research into the quantity and quality of attractiveness of various gorgeous hunks, and the happiness which is caused by their attractive bodies, handsome faces, strong lean muscles and deep voices.
current candidates : earlier candidates : not yet : previous years : birthdays
Official Hunks League Table
February 2011 to January 2012:
1. Skandar Keynes: 163
Skandar Keynes (born 5th September 1991) is a talented actor who played the part of Edmund Pevensie in the three "Chronicles of Narnia" films. His delightfully deep voice and his lean athletic body mean that he is far more vigorous and handsome than his co-star William Moseley (despite being four years younger than him), and have helped to demonstrate that the Narnia films are superior to the Harry Potter films. His gorgeousness (and the genes which he inherited from his great-great-great-grandfather Charles Darwin) have now propelled him to become officially the most gorgeous man in the world. We hope that this fact will enable him to give great enjoyment to his fellow students at Cambridge University, where he is now studying Arabic and Middle Eastern History, having completed the third film in the Narnia series.
2. Alex Pettyfer: 125
Alex Pettyfer (born 10th April 1990) has had a long career in acting since he was a child, including a part in "Tom Brown's Schooldays" when he was 13, but came to fame playing the part of Alex Rider in the film "Stormbreaker". Although he was only 15 when it was filmed, he was already very lean and athletic, tall, handsome, muscular and sporty, and looked more like 18 than 15. He already had an amazingly deep voice which was already mature and settled. He has continued to make a number of successful films such as "I Am Number Four" and "Beastly" in which his stunningly gorgeous good looks, handsome face, blond hair, deep voice and lean athletic body have boosted audiences.
3. Daniel Radcliffe: 73
Daniel Radcliffe (born 23rd July 1989) played the part of "Harry Potter" in all eight films from the age of 11. He is the living proof that it is not necessary to be tall in order to be masculine and gorgeous. Although he is only 5 feet 5 inches tall, his voice broke when he was only 12, and he soon became a handsome and lean attractive teenager. His delightfully rugged masculinity is manifested in the form of frequent appearance of stubble (even when he was only 17) and he has spoken openly about losing his virginity at the age of only 16. His sublimely excellent performance in "Equus" in 2007 - way beyond the relatively mundane demands of the Harry Potter films - showed clearly that he is a very talented and versatile actor, as well as a physically very energetic and vigorous one.
4. Prince Harry: 60
His Royal Highness, Prince Henry of Wales (born 15th September 1984), also known as Hunky Harry the Cheeky Chappie (Naughty but Nice) is the younger, but physically stronger and more rampantly vigorously handsome of the two princes in his family. He is utterly fearless, courageous, hardworking, loyal to his monarch and country, friendly, charming, ruggedly heterosexual and delightfully athletic and passionate. I applaud the fact that he genuinely wanted to serve with his colleagues in Afghanistan, but his special position should have prevented him from being allowed to do so.
5. Peter Phillips: 38
Peter Phillips (born 15th November 1977) is the son of the Princess Royal, and is the most gorgeous and attractive man ever to have lived. He was consistently officially the most attractive man in the world for nearly ten years until he was overtaken in May 2008. Peter has always been described as very friendly and popular by those who know him, and the late Barbara Cartland is reported to have said "I never realised that the men in my novels existed in real life until I met Peter". He built up his hunky muscular gorgeousness by playing rugby and various other sports at school for many years. He has used his delightfully muscular heterosexuality to give enormous pleasure to several girlfriends over the years, and is now happily married to Autumn.
6. Austin Butler: 30
Austin Butler (born 17th August 1991) is America's answer to Alex Pettyfer. Like Alex, he is tall, handsome, lean, athletic, strong, and has blond curly hair and a very deep voice. He became known as a result of his appearance in the film "Aliens In The Attic" in 2009. However, it was filmed in early 2008 when he was only 16, which enhances the extent to which his exceptionally deep voice is very impressive and delightful. He is openly heterosexual, has had several girlfriends, and he has quite rightly boasted in an interview about the fact that he is “a grade A in bed ... a sexpert”.
7. Matthew Werkmeister: 29
Matthew Werkmeister (born 30th January 1992) played the part of Zeke Kinski in "Neighbours" from 2005 to 2011. He has grown from small and cute to tall, handsome and still very cute. Despite being smaller than average, his voice started going down just before he was 14, but he is the living proof that a gorgeous young man does not need to have excessively big muscles or an exceptionally deep voice in order to be gorgeous. As well as being exceptionally beautiful, he was well known as the most popular member of the cast of "Neighbours" and is very friendly, funny, charming and sweet, as well as being handsome and attractive. He is openly heterosexual and mentioned how happy he was to be with his girlfriend in an interview when he was only 15.
8. Gabriel Thomson: 22
Gabriel Thomson (born 27th October 1986) is an actor best known for playing Michael Harper in the comedy series "My Family" from 2000 to 2011. Although he started his career at the cute end of the spectrum, and is shorter in stature than average, he has now got an extremely deep and delightfully masculine voice, and has highly developed strong muscles on his chest and abdomen.
9. Jamie Bell: 22
Jamie Bell (born 14th March 1986) came to fame in the original Billy Elliott film when he was 13, but in recent years he has shone with a sublime talent in adult roles in various films. Most recently, he was very rugged and handsome playing the part of a slave in Roman-occupied Britain in "The Eagle", and was suitably energetic in "The Adventures of Tintin". His lean muscular body and his stubbly masculine face were even more impressive than his acting talent in a Gaelic-speaking role.
10. James Alexandrou: 15
James Alexandrou (born 12th April 1985) played the part of Martin Fowler in "EastEnders" from 1996 until 2007. He was so determined to let audiences enjoy his gorgeousness that he went hurtling through puberty at an early age, and already had a delightfully deep voice when he was only 13. It was directly as a result of his maturity and gorgeousness that his character was able to make his girlfriend pregnant at the age of only 14½. He is very tall and handsome with a big strong athletic body and a delightfully handsome face. I know from my own personal experience that he is also very charming and friendly. He has now left "EastEnders" but is continuing his acting career in theatre and modelling.
11. Prince Louis of Luxembourg: 15
His Royal Highness Prince Louis of Luxembourg (born 3rd August 1986) became famous when he became a father at the age of 19, having met his girlfriend at the age of 17 when they were both serving with NATO forces in Kosovo. He was so determined to show off his heterosexuality and athletic handsomeness that he married at the age of 20 and had a second son at the age of 21. When he is not too busy being sexy and vigorously delightful with his wife, he is studying and working in Florida.
12. Kyal Marsh: 12
Kyal Marsh (born 16th August 1987) is an Australian actor who played the part of Boyd Hoyland in "Neighbours" from 2001 to 2007. His rapid teenage growth on and off screen resulted in a deep voice, short hair, and extremely gigantic muscles all over his chest, abdomen, back, shoulders, arms, and thighs. His development of the biggest set of muscles in the southern hemisphere can only have happened as a result of regular vigorous and strenuous exercise for several hours a day over several years, and therefore must have been a deliberate act of generosity which is designed to make himself as hunky as possible for his millions of fans and many girlfriends.
13. Liam Payne: 12
Liam Payne (born 29th August 1993) was a contestant in the 2008 series of "X Factor" when he did an impressive audition when he was only 14¾, but already had an impressively deep and well-modulated singing voice. A rare example of Simon Cowell making the wrong decision was the fact that he was not chosen to be one of the 12 finalists in the live shows, but Liam continued a successful career in singing and public appearances and is now the lead singer of One Direction, which came third in "X Factor" in 2010.
14. Luke Mitchell: 12
Luke Mitchell (born 17th April 1985) has been an actor in "Home and Away" since 2009. He also appeared briefly in "Neighbours" for a few weeks in 2008. Inexplicably, I don't remember him in Neighbours at all. I don't watch Home and Away, and I only discovered him by accident when I was looking for information about another person of the same name.
15. Sean Maguire: 8
Sean Maguire (born 18th April 1976) has been a famous and successful actor since the age of 5, and has had prominent parts in "Grange Hill", "EastEnders" and other television series and films in the UK and the USA. In "Sunburn" he took off all his clothes and jumped into a swimming pool, and in "OffCentre" his character was delightfully promiscuous. Sean himself is vigorously heterosexual, has had several girlfriends at least since the age of 17, and is sweet and cute as well as handsome. As he has grown older, he has gradually drifted from being a cutie-beauty in his teens to being more of a muscular hunk in his 30s.
16. Jamie Borthwick: 6
Jamie Borthwick (born 23rd June 1994) has played the part of Jay Mitchell in "EastEnders" for the last five years, during which he has grown up to be handsome and athletic. His lean athletic build and his impressively deep voice add authenticity to the tough streetwise personality of the character he plays. His acting ability has also won him awards for the subtly vulnerably and complex background of the character.
17. Matt Damon: 5
Matt Damon (born 8th October 1970) is currently the oldest hunk in the league table, but this does not diminish the fact that he is still very sexy, hunky, muscular, athletic, extremely physically strong, rampantly delightfully heterosexual and has a lovely deep voice. He is a versatile and talented actor, and his gorgeousness means that he fully deserves every one of the millions of dollars he has earned in many films.
18. Prince William: 2
Prince William (born 21st June 1982) is the elder, and more sensible and laidback of the two princes. The fact that he is not as lively and vigorous as Prince Harry should not distract from the fact that he is, in his own right, very athletic and sporty. He is also charming and clever, but when I met him in Hyde Park in 2004 his modesty proved to be a drawback when he denied the suggestion that his extremely deep voice is lovely and attractive. His gorgeousness is declining slightly as he heads towards married life and middle age.
Some other gorgeous hunks who used to be in the league table but who have not featured recently include:
Amir Khan, Matt Spurr, Sam Clark, Taylor Fawcett, Gareth Bale, the late Pablo Santos,
John Pickard, Tim Henman, Prince Hamzah of Jordan, Leonardo DiCaprio, Shaun Smith and Jordan Smith.
Some other young men who are objectively very handsome but whom I do not fancy and have not yet entered the league table are:
Justin Bieber, Tom Daley, Brad Pitt, Thomas Law and Tyger Drew-Honey.
Previous Years
2010:
Matthew Werkmeister 174; Prince Harry 125; Peter Phillips 86; Jordan Smith 71; James Alexandrou 62; Skandar Keynes 61; Alex Pettyfer 54; Liam Payne 41; Gabriel Thomson 36; Daniel Radcliffe 24; Prince William 18; Kyal Marsh 17; Matt Damon 12; Austin Butler 10; Sean Maguire 2; Prince Louis of Luxembourg 5; Matt Spurr 3; Sam Clark 1
2009:
Matthew Werkmeister 184; Gabriel Thomson 94; Peter Phillips 72; Alex Pettyfer 66; Shaun Smith 47; Kyal Marsh 45; Prince Harry 39; Skandar Keynes 35; James Alexandrou 33; Daniel Radcliffe 27; Prince William 26; Matt Damon 21; Austin Butler 20; Liam Payne 16; Sean Maguire 12; Prince Louis of Luxembourg 12; Matt Spurr 6; Gareth Bale 6; Taylor Fawcett 5; Sam Clark 4; Amir Khan 2
2008:
Matthew Werkmeister 194; Peter Phillips 101; Alex Pettyfer 66; James Alexandrou 64; Daniel Radcliffe 50; Gabriel Thomson 42; Prince Harry 40; Skandar Keynes 32; Matt Spurr 31; Kyal Marsh 29; Matt Damon 20; Prince William 17; Amir Khan 9; Gareth Bale 9; Sean Maguire 7; Anthony Ogogo 7; Prince Louis of Luxembourg 5; Liam Payne 5; Sam Clark 3; Pablo Santos 3
2007:
Peter Phillips 119; Matthew Werkmeister 81; Kyal Marsh 77; Alex Pettyfer 71; James Alexandrou 48; Prince William 36; Gabriel Thomson 34; Daniel Radcliffe 34; Prince Harry 33; Sam Clark 33; Matt Damon 29; Sean Maguire 19; Pablo Santos 15; Skandar Keynes 15; Matt Spurr 13; Amir Khan 11; Prince Louis of Luxembourg 10; Gareth Bale 6; Rory Jennings 4; Others 5
2006:
Peter Phillips 159; James Alexandrou 142; Prince Harry 81; Prince William 59; Kyal Marsh 45; Alex Pettyfer 42; Sean Maguire 37; Matt Spurr 33; Gabriel Thomson 31; Matt Damon 29; Amir Khan 20; Prince Louis of Luxembourg 18; Others 9
2005:
Peter Phillips 193; James Alexandrou 140; Matt Damon 64; Matt Spurr 56; Prince William 55; Nick Buoy 54; Prince Harry 43; Sean Maguire 29; John Pickard 26; Gabriel Thomson 12; Others 12
2004:
Peter Phillips 297; James Alexandrou 101; Prince William 98; Matt Spurr 69; Nick Buoy 64; Prince Harry 41; Matt Damon 27; Others 44
2003:
Peter Phillips 553; James Alexandrou 96; Matt Spurr 56; Nick Buoy 52; Prince Harry 50; Prince William 35; Matt Damon 23; Sean Maguire 17; Prince Hamza of Jordan 10; Others 16
2002:
Peter Phillips 412; James Alexandrou 110; Matt Spurr 84; Prince William 54; Prince Harry 39; Matt Damon 31; Sean Maguire 22; Tim Henman 21; Others 50
2001:
Peter Phillips 307; James Alexandrou 168; Tim Henman 67; Sean Maguire 65; Prince William 63; Matt Spurr 59; Others 96
2000:
Peter Phillips 401; Prince William 109; Matt Spurr 94; Sean Maguire 87; Tim Henman 60; James Alexandrou 58; Leonardo DiCaprio 28; Matt Damon 26; Others 32
1999:
Peter Phillips 409; Tim Henman 291; Sean Maguire 85; Leonardo DiCaprio 36; Tom Cruise 16; Others 58
1998:
Peter Phillips 492; Sean Maguire 153; Tim Henman 101; Mark Owen 84; Leonardo DiCaprio 35; Others 72
Birthdays
Matt Damon: 8th October 1970
Tim Henman: 6th September 1974
Leonardo DiCaprio: 11th November 1974
Sean Maguire: 18th April 1976
John Pickard: 2nd November 1977
Peter Phillips: 15th November 1977
Prince Hamzah of Jordan: 29th March 1980
Matthew Spurr: 6th September 1981
Prince William: 21st June 1982
Prince Harry: 15th September 1984
James Alexandrou: 12th April 1985
Luke Mitchell: 17th April 1985
Jamie Bell: 14th March 1986
Prince Louis: 3rd August 1986
Gabriel Thomson: 27th October 1986
Amir Khan: 9th December 1986
Pablo Santos: 9th January 1987 (died 15th September 2006)
Kyal Marsh: 16th August 1987
Sam Clark: 18th October 1987
Anthony Ogogo: 24th November 1988
Gareth Bale: 16th July 1989
Daniel Radcliffe: 23rd July 1989
Alex Pettyfer: 10th April 1990
Austin Butler: 17th August 1991
Skandar Keynes: 5th September 1991
Matthew Werkmeister: 30th January 1992
Thomas Law: 17th December 1992
Taylor Fawcett: 25th May 1993
Liam Payne: 29th August 1993
Justin Bieber: 1st March 1994
Tom Daley: 21st May 1994
Jamie Borthwick: 23rd June 1994
Opening of the Diana Princess of Wales
Memorial Fountain, 6th July 2004
The extreme gorgeousness, masculinity and athleticism of Prince William (Will the Wonderful Wombat) and Prince Harry (Hunky Harry the Cheeky Chappie, Naughty but Nice) are a credit to the Monarchy, and a great example to young people for the promotion of self-discipline, hard work, selflessness and public service. In particular, Prince William's statement on 6th July 2004 in which he expressed doubt about the loveliness of his deep voice is not only factually erroneous, but also demonstrates an astonishing level of modesty and selflessness which is out of all proportion to the reality of his
genuine and extreme wonderfulness and generosity.
WAAAAGH!!! considers that it is a matter of intense frustration that handsome heterosexual young men, like Prince William, are unable to appreciate the utter wonderfulness of their own deep voices, and a Loony government will work to invest in the development of scientific advances which will enable them to become gay on a temporary basis, in order to have the joy and benefit of
such awareness.
Rejoice in the Gorgeousness of Peter Phillips!
Delight in the Deep Voice of Prince William!
Hail the Heroic Hunkiness of Prince Harry!
God Save the Queen! Long Live the Monarchy!
Advance the Process of Dialectical Monarchism!