Back On The Doubles
I
was late coming home from darts the other night as usual and as the police are
having a bit of a blitz on drink driving round where I live it was inevitable
that sooner or later I would get stopped for a breath test. I saw the police car
pull out of a turn behind me as I went past, so I new what was going to happen.
Sure enough, we hadn’t gone many yards down the road when on flashed his
pretty blue lights, so I pulled over.
I wound down my window as the policeman
walked up to me and he needlessly stuck his head through my window to have a
casual sniff. “I think one of your brake lights is not working, so I thought I
had better pull you over to warn you, so that you could get it fixed before you
have an accident,” the policeman helpfully said.
“That’s very kind of you to take the trouble officer, thank you, I will get
it looked at first thing tomorrow.”
The policeman
continued. "Do you mind if I ask you where you have been this evening sir?”
“Not
at all officer, I’ve been down the pub playing darts all night.”
“I thought so, I could smell beer on you.
Have you been drinking?”
“As I said I have been playing darts in
the pub, I’ve been on
the doubles all night.”
“Would you mind getting out of the car to
take a breath test please sir?”
“Certainly officer.”
The policeman
called his mate over from the car and whispered under his breath, “We’ve got
one here.” Then he took out a test kit and gave me instructions on how to blow into it.
I passed it back, he examined it closely and he looked puzzled. “Well this is
reading negative. Absolutely nothing, no trace of alcohol. Must be faulty,
we’ll try another one.” Out came another kit with the same result. “I
thought you said you had been on doubles all night?” demanded the puzzled officer
sounding more than a little tetchy.
“Yes officer, the doubles, trebles, I was
hitting everything at darts, but I was only drinking pop.”
P.S. This story is just that and never really happened, but the idea for it was given to me by a comment a friend made in the pub while playing darts on Friday night.