Technology for Country Folk
Log On
Makin' the stove hotter
Log Off
Coolin' 'er off
Monitor
Keepin' an eye on 'er
Download
Gittin the farwood off'n the truck
Mega Hertz
When yer not keerful gittin the farwood
Floppy Disc
Whutcha from tryin ta tote too much farwood
Ram
That thar thang what splits farwood
Hard drive
Gittin home in the winter time
Windows
What ta shut when its cold outside
Screen
What ta shut when its black fly season
Byte
What dem dang flys do
Chip
Munchies fer the TV
Micro-chip
Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
Modem
Whut yer do ta the hay fields
Dot Matrix
Dot Coms name after she got hitched ta Dan Matrix
Laptop
Whar thar kitty naps
Keyboard
Whar yer hang the dang truk keys
Software
Them thar plastic forks' nifes
Mouse
What eats the grain in the barn
Mouse Pad
That's jes hippy talk fer whar the mouse lives
Mainframe
Holds up the barn roof
Port
Fancy schmantcie flatlander wine
Enter
Duh! How yer git in the house
Click
What ya hear when ya cock ya gun
Double-Click
What ya hear when ya REALLY mean bizness
Reboot
What ya have to do right before bedtime when ya have ta go ta the
outhouse