Return to Poems
There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her
To cry when she came,
“Oh dear, what a shame!
Well now we just have to start over.”
A student of music from Sparta
Was a truly magnificent farter;
On the strength of one bean,
He’d fart God Save The Queen,
And Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
There was a young
There was a young gigolo, Meek,
Who invented a lingual technique.
It drove women frantic,
Made them feel romantic,
And wore all the beard from his cheek.
There was a young woman called Hall
Wore a newspaper to a ball.
The dress caught on fire
And burned her entire,
Front page, sporting section, and all.
There was a young man of Australia
Who painted his arse like a dahlia.
The drawing was fine,
The colour divine,
But the scent – alas – was a failure.
There was a young lady from Norway
Who hung by her heels from a doorway.
She said to her beau,
“Look at this Joe,
I think I’ve discovered one more way.”
There was a young maiden called Flynn
Who thought fornication a sin,
But when she was tight
It seemed quite alright,
So everyone filled her with gin.