By Path of Night

Eos

One may not reach the dawn save by path of night
K. Gibran

"You okay?" Jack asked.

Daniel kept his eyes narrowed to slits. One hand pointed silently at his head while the other gripped desperately at the back of his neck.

"Still the nail in the head thing?" Jack asked. Daniel nodded, then groaned as the movement exacerbated his headache and the accompanying nausea. Jack grabbed his elbow and tossed a look at Fraiser as they made their way down the corridor to the infirmary, a corridor that was obviously too brightly lit and crowded for Daniel's comfort.

"He'll be fine, sir. If you recall, you and Major Carter suffered the same after-effect." Fraiser led the way to a gurney. "Now that his 'guests' are gone, Daniel should be able to recover from whatever technology Pharren used on all of you."

"Ah. God. Ice pick," Daniel muttered as Jack guided him up and onto the gurney.

"Ice pick?" Jack asked.

"Not nail," Daniel whispered, pointing at his head again. "Ice pick. Big...sharp...ice pick."

"Gotcha," Jack said. He released his grip on Daniel slowly, waiting to see if he would or could remain sitting upright without support. When Daniel didn't immediately topple over, Jack stepped back. "Listen, you take it easy. Carter, Teal'c and I will go fill Hammond in while Doc gets you fixed up."

"What happened?" Jack said in an accusatory tone.

"I don't know," Janet admitted. She stood at the foot of Daniel's bed; SG-1 was gathered around the sides. "We finished up his tests and then got him settled in bed to rest while I went over the results. When the nurse came back to check on him, he was like this."

Jack's eyes followed Janet's hand as she gestured toward Daniel. He was lying on his back in the infirmary bed, eyes open but completely unresponsive.

"What exactly is this?" Sam asked.

"I don't know."

"What do you know?" Jack asked angrily. Janet shot him a warning look, then paused to take a deep breath before answering.

"All I can tell you is that Daniel's test results were normal. Other than the headache, something you and Major Carter both suffered from, he didn't indicate any physical or mental problem."

"Then why is he unconscious?" Teal'c asked.

"I don't know," Janet repeated wearily. "It's not a coma. Not truly unconsciousness either. I've repeated a few of the tests and they indicate that Daniel is awake and probably aware to some degree. He's more catatonic than comatose. And no, I don't know why."

"He's aware?" Sam asked, looking at Daniel's open but seemingly unseeing eyes.

"The EEG and PET scan both indicate waking brain activity. He is conscious. He's just not responding to external stimuli in any perceptible manner."

"Could one of those people still be in his head?" Jack asked. He leaned over to peer directly into Daniel's eyes, wondering if he would see a stranger looking back.

"I haven't seen any indication of that."

"Could one of them have injured him in some way before being removed?" Teal'c asked.

"If they did, it's not showing up on any test we have."

"Doesn't mean it didn't happen," Jack said, glancing at Janet.

"No, but I suspect the cause isn't physical. Not entirely."

"Not physical?"

"Sir, Tryan said that the pressure of multiple personalities within a single mind would inevitably lead to insanity."

"Daniel is not crazy," Jack said vehemently.

"The colonel's right," Sam said. "Besides, you said that Daniel protected himself by withdrawing until the others left."

"I know, and I'm not saying that Daniel's crazy. What I was trying to point out is that this ordeal caused a significant amount of psychological stress," Janet said. "It may be that Daniel's mind needed to shut everything else out in an effort to cope it."

"And?"

"And for now I think we should let him do it," Janet said. "I'm going to have him moved to an isolation room. We'll try to minimize the number of external stimuli he's exposed to and hope that helps."

Jack frowned. He raised his head and looked around, his reading interrupted by something. A noise. Seeing no one else in the isolation room, or the observation room above, Jack looked down at Daniel. Daniel's lips were moving, faint breathy words spilling from his lips.

"Daniel?"

Daniel moaned and rolled his head back against the pillow. Jack hit the call button as he stood and leaned over the bed. He put his ear just above Daniel's mouth, trying to hear what he was saying.

"Colonel?"

Jack turned his head until he could see one of the nurses standing at the foot of the bed.

"Get Fraiser."

"Dr. Fraiser is off duty," the nurse told him.

"Well, who is on duty?"

"Dr. Warner."

"Then get him," Jack said impatiently. As he waited, Daniel's restless movements slowed, then ceased. By the time Warner arrived, Daniel was lying inert, as unresponsive as he'd been before.

"Colonel?" Warner asked, walking directly to the monitors and checking all of Daniel's readings.

"He was...." Jack gestured vaguely.

"Awake?"

"No, not awake exactly," Jack admitted. "But he was moving. And talking, like someone talking in his sleep."

"What was he saying?" Warner asked as he performed a quick exam to assess Daniel's neurological status. "Was he coherent?"

"I don't know. It was too soft; I couldn't understand him," Jack said.

"He seems to have settled down now," Warner said, gently repositioning Daniel's head more comfortably on his pillow.

"He's not waking up then?" Jack asked, trying to hide his disappointment.

"I don't see anything new in his readings. But that doesn't necessarily mean anything since his readings were never abnormal." Warner shrugged, at a loss to explain. "If he starts again, let me know. Otherwise, we'll just continue to wait."

Jack woke with an abrupt jerk. He didn't have time to wonder why before Daniel's hand bumped against his head again. Jack raised his head from where it had been lying on the side of the bed and saw Daniel shifting restlessly, muttering and groaning.

"Daniel? Come on--time to wake up," Jack said, standing up and leaning over the bed.

"No, please," Daniel muttered, his words soft but clear. "Don't...don't make me...."

"Daniel," Jack said quietly, gripping Daniel's shoulder.

"No!" Daniel shouted, sitting up, his eyes open again but still unseeing. "Don't make me choose...."

"Calm down, Daniel," Jack said, looking around for help. He saw one of the nurses peek in the door before hurrying away, hopefully to get Warner.

"Please," Daniel begged, growing more agitated.

"It's all right, Daniel," Jack said, turning his full attention back to Daniel. He did the only thing he could think of. He wrapped his arms around Daniel and hugged him close, trying to reassure him and still his erratic movements. "You're okay. You don't have to do anything."

"Colonel O'Neill?" Dr. Warner halted at the foot of the bed, glancing quickly at the various monitors.

"He just started yelling," Jack explained, rocking Daniel in his arms. He could feel Daniel shaking slightly, although his voice had dropped to a low mutter again. "I don't think he's really awake, though."

"All right, I'm going to order another...."

"Jack?"

"Daniel?" Jack asked. He wasn't sure if Daniel was actually speaking to him or just calling out in response to whatever he was seeing in his mind. Jack glanced at Warner but the doctor's gaze was focused on Daniel's face. Jack loosened his hold slightly and pulled back so that he could see Daniel's face, too. "That you?"

"Yeah. Pretty sure," Daniel said, his eyes barely meeting Jack's.

"Dr. Jackson, you've been...." Warner began.

"I know," Daniel said quickly, sliding out of Jack's hold and lying back against the pillows.

"You know?" Jack asked.

"I heard everything," Daniel said.

"Everything?" Jack asked.

"All of you. Tonight," Daniel said tersely.

"And you remember it all?" Warner asked skeptically.

"Yes. Janet ran some tests and brought me back here to rest. Then I kind of ...zoned out. Jack yelled at her. Sam stayed with me for a while after Janet kicked Jack out. Then she left and Jack came back. He read the comics to me until he fell asleep," Daniel recited in a rapid monotone.

"I didn't yell at Fraiser," Jack said quickly.

"Yes, you did."

"Didn't," Jack insisted.

"Colonel," Warner interrupted. "Doctor, do you know what happened to you?"

"It was...." Daniel paused, scrunching up his face in concentration. "All that stuff was in my head: emotions, thoughts...."

"But we took them out," Jack said.

"You took the people out," Daniel corrected. "But some of their mental...stuff got left behind. I just needed time to assimilate it all."

"But...." Warner tried again.

"It just happened," Daniel continued rapidly. "I guess that's the only way my mind could deal with it."

"But the people--they're all gone, right?" Jack asked.

"Yes, they're all gone," Daniel said with an emphatic nod. "Can I go now?"

Jack and Dr. Warner gave Daniel identical flabbergasted looks.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"Dr. Jackson, you've been catatonic for a number of hours."

"I'm feeling much better now."

"Daniel...."

"I'm fine," Daniel insisted. "Even the headache's gone. I just...I'd like to go home and get some sleep. Please."

"You live on base anyway, Dr. Jackson," Warner reminded him. Daniel stared at him as if surprised by the news.

"He can come home with me," Jack offered. "I'll keep an eye on him."

"Please," Daniel asked Warner.

"I want to repeat a few tests. If those are normal I'll let you go home with Colonel O'Neill."

"But the tests were normal even when Daniel wasn't," Jack pointed out.

"I know, but I feel like I should do something," Warner admitted. "I don't expect to find anything. In truth, it's more of a proactive move to pacify Dr. Fraiser."

"I can relate," Jack said with a nod.

"You're not telling the whole truth," Jack accused. He waved Daniel toward the living room and stopped to put his keys and cell phone on the dining room table before following him.

"No, I'm not," Daniel said. He wandered across the living room to the fireplace and stopped, staring at the collection of Jack's mementoes on the mantel.

"Don't argue with me, Daniel. I know when you're...." Jack stopped in his tracks. "Wait--did you just agree with me?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well, don't do that. It throws me off my game," Jack said. He tossed his jacket on the back of the couch and turned to face Daniel.

"Sorry."

"So?"

"So?" Daniel repeated.

"What is the truth?"

"I remembered."

"Remembered? Remembered what?"

"Everything," Daniel said, his voice tight.

"Everything? Do you mean...? Are we talking about glow time?"

"Yeah."

"As in remembered...?"

"Everything. It...it all just came flooding back: sights, sounds, thoughts," Daniel said, turning from the fireplace to face Jack.

"How do you know that you've remembered everything?" Jack asked.

"What?"

"Well, if you've forgotten everything you knew then how can you be sure you've remembered everything you forgot?" Jack said. Daniel simply stared at him. "It makes sense."

"Okay. Technically, you're right. I can't be absolutely sure I remember everything," Daniel conceded. "But I remember a hell of a lot."

"How?" Jack asked.

"Well, the memories were never really gone--just blocked."

"We kind of figured that," Jack said. "Since you did remember stuff from before."

"From my human life," Daniel agreed. "Very, very little from my time with Oma. They blocked those memories. I don't know why they did it but my human memories--my knowledge and sense of self--those were supposed to come back...eventually. But my memories of the Ascended were supposed to be blocked forever."

"So why can you remember them now?"

"Well, the 'block' the Ascended put in my mind was never intended to withstand the arrival and subsequent departure of a dozen other minds."

"Too much pressure," Jack said.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you just say so?" Jack asked, finally sitting down. "Back there at the infirmary."

"Because I was...." Daniel grimaced, looking embarrassed. "I was worried."

"About?"

"About what some people might do to find out what those memories are," Daniel said. With a weary sigh he sat down on the couch next to Jack.

"Which people?" Jack questioned.

"I don't know," Daniel said, throwing up his hands. "The military?"

"You could have some important information," Jack said. He could understand that Daniel might be wary of having his life...his afterlife put under a microscope, but this was essentially no different than debriefing after a mission. A very long and very unusual mission, but a mission all the same. "You are going to tell us what you remember, aren't you?"

"Everything that I can."

"Everything that you can? Is this another one of those 'humans are too primitive' things?" Jack asked, exasperated. The one tolerable aspect of Daniel's ascension was that he'd never pulled any of that superiority crap so prevalent among more 'advanced' beings.

"In a way. Some of it is...it's gone. There are some things I don't think the human mind is capable of grasping. Mine certainly isn't," Daniel explained. "What I remember is what I did, where I went."

"That could be useful," Jack said.

"I know. I understand that."

"But you're afraid that we'll want more than what you remember?" Jack asked, puzzled by Daniel's reluctance.

"Not you. The NID."

"I'm sure we'll have to hand the information over to them. That's S.O.P."

"Do you really think the NID will believe that's all there is?" Daniel said. "They weren't real fond of me when I first...."

"De-glowed?"

"Descended."

"They were a little miffed that you'd spent a year as a higher being and had nothing to show for it," Jack agreed. "But you can't tell them what you don't know."

"And they'll just take my word that that's all I remember," Daniel said sarcastically.

"Screw the NID," Jack said, dismissing the issue with a careless wave of his hand. "I'll talk to Hammond."

"The NID has contacts higher than Hammond. The NID has people like Kinsey."

"So? Hammond has the President. And turns out the President has a thing for you."

"He...does?" Daniel asked, regarding Jack warily.

"Well, not a 'thing' as in.... But he likes you," Jack said. "And I'm as certain as I can be that he'll back us against the NID."

"Guess I'll just have to risk it," Daniel said, staring glumly at his hands.

"You okay?" Jack asked.

"I think so. It's a lot to take in all at once, and it's going to take me a while to sort it all out," Daniel said. "But I remember something that's been bothering me."

"What?"

"I know why I came back." Daniel smiled at Jack's curious stare. "I don't know why I came back the way that I did...."

"Bare-assed?"

"Yeah, that way. Thing is--I remember the reason I came back."

"Which was?"

"I chose to," Daniel said.

"Bare-assed?" Jack asked again.

"No, I don't know what was up with the whole naked thing. Except that I'm pretty sure I didn't choose that," Daniel said. "I wasn't thrown out. I chose to leave, to return to human form."

"Why?" Jack asked with genuine curiosity.

"One of the reasons I ascended was because I thought I could do more out there," Daniel said, gesturing vaguely skywards.

"All seeing, all knowing," Jack said with a nod.

"Not even close, but I couldn't even use what I did know. I couldn't make a difference."

"So you came back here where we end up having to kill the same Goa'uld over and over...and over again?" Jack asked dryly.

"We can't measure our deeds by success or failure. We can only be judged by our intentions."

"Really?"

"That's what Oma told me."

"Huh. I was always taught that good intentions were a highway straight to hell," Jack said.

"Yeah, well...." Daniel said with a small smile. "Her point was that we all have choices to make and what matters most is whether we choose for good or for evil."

"I gotta tell you--I'm not sure I buy that."

"I'm not sure I do either," Daniel admitted. "But it's a start."

"How's it going, Colonel?"

Jack glanced over at Hammond as the general entered the small observation room. Then he looked back through the one way mirror that separated them from the interrogation room.

To Jack's dismay, the NID had had enough clout to make sure that one of their people sat in on Daniel's debriefing. Major Havelock's entire demeanor was as spit and polish as his shoes, but Jack could almost smell the moral rot under the expensively subtle cologne. Fortunately, Major Davis, sent by the Pentagon, had been placed in charge of the debriefing and Havelock's role was to 'assist.'

"Daniel's getting tired, sir," Sam said from her seat right in front of the window.

"General, that's the third time in the last ten minutes Daniel has completely lost his train of thought," Jack said irritably, waving at the man in the other room.

"Colonel...?"

"He told me he'd tell us everything he could remember. And I trust him," Jack said, answering the unasked question.

"So do I," Sam said firmly.

"As do I," Hammond said. "But I had to ask."

Daniel's voice, sounding muffled through the speakers, drew their attention back to the interrogation room.

"Look, I've already told you I don't know anything about Anubis beyond the fact that he is some weird intermediate life form," Daniel said wearily. "He was ascended, but he isn't anymore. Not totally."

"Dr. Jackson, you were one of the Ancients. You have their knowledge," Havelock said irritably.

"No, I don't." Daniel raised his hand, pressing the heel to his left eye. "I wasn't an Ancient and I don't have their knowledge."

"You weren't an Ancient?"

"No, I was one of the Ascended."

"What's the difference?" Havelock persisted.

"All Ancients are Ascended, but not all Ascended are Ancients," Daniel said. His steady gaze seemed challenged his opponent to argue the point further.

"Look, I think we're getting caught up in semantics here," Davis said in a conciliatory tone. "Daniel, even if you weren't technically an Ancient, you did live as one of them for a year."

"I don't know the things you want to hear about," Daniel repeated, letting his head drop into his hands.

"Why not?"

"Either I never did or it was something I'm not capable of understanding now."

"But you remember some things," Davis coaxed.

"Some," Daniel agreed. "I remember the location of Baal's secret fortress...which is useless since Yu has already destroyed it. I know that Yu is suffering from some kind of dementia...which you also know by now. I remember what happened on Abydos...." Daniel grimaced. "Information which is also totally useless at this point."

"General," Jack complained, turning away from the window to look directly at Hammond. "Daniel's still recovering from his little bout of multiple personality syndrome. He's not up to a long interrogation."

"All right." Hammond said. He'd noticed Daniel grimacing again as he rubbed at his temple. "That's enough for now."

Jack was out the door before Hammond could have even a second to reconsider his decision. He found Teal'c standing at parade rest just outside the interrogation room. Not surprisingly, he had little faith in the NID and planned to ensure that they couldn't take off with Daniel in tow. With a small bow, Jack graciously waved for Teal'c to lead the way.

Jack walked quietly into his kitchen. Only the light over the stove was on, which meant that all Jack could really see was a dark shape outlined by a weak, yellow glow.

"Daniel?" Jack rubbed at his sleep-blurred eyes, peering at Daniel's back. "You okay?"

"Abydos is gone," Daniel said in a flat tone of voice. "Completely, totally, utterly gone."

"Yeah, it is," Jack agreed quietly.

"Quite the finale, don't you think?" Daniel said, finally turning to face Jack. The smile on his face was so forced that it hurt Jack to see it. "I don't think there are many people, Ascended or not, who can take credit for wiping out an entire civilization."

"You didn't do it, Daniel. Anubis did."

"Because I made it possible for him to do it," Daniel said.

"You thought that tablet thing was important. You just weren't strong enough to take Anubis out when it became necessary."

"I was strong enough," Daniel said vehemently. "Anubis is only semi-Ascended. I had to have been stronger than he was. I could've destroyed him."

"Then why didn't you?" Jack asked, suddenly angry. He'd grieved over the fate of the Abydonians, but had always laid the blame squarely on Anubis' head. He really didn't want to transfer any of that hate and anger to Daniel.

"She wouldn't let me," Daniel yelled. "I was there, Jack. I was ready to send Anubis to wherever the hell it is Ascended beings go when they cease to exist, but Oma stopped me."

"Why? Why did she stop you?"

"Because the Ascended don't believe in interfering," Daniel spat out angrily.

"Bullshit! There'd already been interference. You interfered. That's why there was a problem to begin with."

Daniel had come to Jack and asked him to go to Abydos. Daniel's actions had set in motion the events that led up to the confrontation between SG-1 and Anubis. Daniel had told Jack to give Anubis the Eye. Daniel's intentions had been good, but he'd made some bad choices.

Still, the words left a bitter taste in Jack's mouth. He knew they would hurt Daniel. But it was the truth, and Daniel would never thank him for hiding from the truth.

"In their book two interferences don't make a right," Daniel said.

"That is the biggest pile of crap I've heard in a while, and that's saying something. Why didn't she stop you before it got that far?"

"I don't know," Daniel said, his voice suddenly dropping to an almost inaudible level. He stared at Jack with a raw expression. "I don't know why she didn't but I wish she had. I really, really wish she had."

"It wasn't your fault," Jack said quietly, stepping forward to enfold Daniel in a hug.

"It was," Daniel said, his voice muffled against Jack's shoulder.

"Maybe a little bit," Jack said as gently as he could. "But there are others who have to take a much bigger share of the blame."

"But they didn't care about the Abydonians. They didn't love Kasuf and Skaara and Mehdi.... They didn't care." Daniel's voice broke on the last word. Jack just hugged him closer and allowed him to finally grieve for his lost home.

"Why did you wait so long to tell anyone about the Eye of Ra?" Havelock asked.

"So long?" Daniel asked, his eyebrows drawing together in puzzlement.

"You'd been ascended for nearly a year. Why did you wait?"

"I didn't wait. As soon as I found out about the Eye of Ra I went to Abydos. I talked to Skaara, to the Elders, and we started looking for it," Daniel explained. "And as soon as I knew that Anubis needed only one more Eye, the one on Abydos, I went to Jack."

"You didn't know anything about these Eyes before then?" Havelock asked skeptically.

"No, of course not." Daniel shook his head, frustrated by the need to explain what was not entirely explainable. "You have to understand that the act of ascension does not automatically endow you with superior knowledge."

"It doesn't?"

"No, ascension is just a transition. It's another step on the path."

In the observation room, Jack looked away from the interrogation when he heard the door opening.

"Sir?" Sam slipped quietly into the room. Teal'c shifted position slightly so that Sam could squeeze between him and Jack in front of the one-way mirror.

"Nice timing, Carter. Daniel's just about to confuse Havelock with some Zen crap," Jack said, gesturing toward the one-way mirror.

"I spent most of my time as an ascended being learning," Daniel said, continuing his explanation.

"Learning about the Eye?" Major Davis asked.

"No, learning about...meaning of life stuff. The Ascended seek to learn about the nature of the universe."

"That's a pretty big undertaking, even for beings on a higher plane of existence," Davis said with a wry smile.

"Which is probably why they haven't succeeded yet," Daniel said with an answering smile.

"The nature of the universe?" Havelock prompted.

"I can't explain it. In truth, I don't understand it myself anymore," Daniel admitted. "All I can say is that ascension frees you from the limits of the physical body. Your mind can go farther, deeper. You can understand things that the human brain isn't capable of comprehending."

"What did it feel like?"

"Feel like? Being ascended?" Daniel asked, confused. "It didn't.... I didn't 'feel' anything. There are no physical sensations, not as we know them."

"But you must've felt something," Havelock insisted. "A sense of power maybe?"

"If you're talking about emotions.... I remember feeling small and insignificant and very much unprepared."

"Do you resent Oma Desala?"

"Resent? For helping me ascend?" Daniel closed his eyes, thinking. "No. No, I don't regret that. It was an amazing experience. It was a journey that not everyone is lucky enough to take. I don't resent the opportunity that Oma gave me. Why would I?"

"She took you away, changed you into something that, according to your own description, sounds pretty pointless," Havelock said.

"She didn't force me. I chose to go." Daniel gave a small, humorless laugh. "Well, it wasn't really much of a choice. I mean--death or ascension: what would you have done?"

Jack stared at through the glass at Daniel's face and wondered what would've happened if he'd made the same decision when that choice was offered to him. Would Daniel have been happier, or at least more content, if he'd had an ally? Or would Jack have gotten them both kicked out a whole lot sooner?

"Colonel, were you aware that Daniel chose to go?"

"Yeah," Jack said flatly, only marginally aware of Sam's surprise and confusion.

"Selmac would've healed him. He didn't have to ascend," Sam said. Her voice was quiet but her tone demanded an explanation. Jack turned his head. Sam and Teal'c were both looking at him, waiting.

"He thought he could do more," Jack said simply, returning his attention to the interrogation room.

"How do you know that?"

Jack looked at Sam again from the corner of his eye. He'd never told anyone about his final conversation with Daniel before his...death. Jack had wrestled with the idea for a while; it felt somehow selfish to keep Daniel's final moments to himself. For all he knew, Daniel had intended for Jack to share his good-bye with Sam and Teal'c. But the conversation had felt too private, too personal. Jack had wanted to keep it for himself.

"Colonel, how did you know that Daniel wanted Selmac to stop?"

"Because he told me," Jack finally admitted when it was obvious that Sam wasn't going to let him off the hook.

"When he was dying?"

"We talked," Jack said vaguely. He looked over as Sam tried to hide the mix of hurt and anger that showed on her face. "Look, Carter...."

"It's okay," Sam said quickly. Her expression was defiant, daring him to contradict her. "I'm glad I know now that it was Daniel's decision because, to be perfectly honest, I was a little angry with you for letting him go."

"Yeah, well...better that you were angry with me than with Daniel," Jack said. It took Sam a second to process the statement, then her eyes widened in surprise.

"O'Neill," Teal'c interrupted politely. "We are scheduled for a briefing in ten minutes."

"So we are," Jack said, checking his watch. "Time to go rescue Daniel from the lions."

Jack barged right into the interrogation room, Sam and Teal'c at either shoulder. Havelock looked up at them, clearly annoyed by the interruption.

"Ah!" Jack said, halting Havelock's protest before he could even begin it. "Daniel has an actual job around here and his presence is required in the briefing room so that he can perform that job."

"Yes, sir," Davis said, immediately turning off the video recorder and putting away his notes. Havelock glared at Jack as he herded Daniel toward the door.

"Just one more question, Dr. Jackson. Purely a personal one."

"Yes?" Daniel said warily, looking back at Havelock. Jack stayed right at Daniel's back, ready to terminate the conversation. With extreme prejudice, if necessary.

"Was ascension worth it?"

"Worth it?" Daniel repeated slowly. Jack looked back at Havelock. Havelock returned the look with a blank expression, giving nothing away.

"Was this great 'spiritual journey' worth seeing your teammates tortured and dying? Was it worth watching the planet you claimed was your home being annihilated and...."

"That's enough!" Jack growled. He turned and advanced on Havelock so fast the man actually took a worried step back before he caught himself. Angry at the lapse, Havelock straightened his spine and stared aggressively at Jack.

"Jack." Daniel's hand caught Jack's upper arm, holding him back. Daniel stepped in front of Jack and regarded Havelock with barely suppressed anger. "Do you really want an answer?"

"Daniel, you don't have to," Jack said immediately.

"No, it's okay," Daniel said, his gaze fixed on Havelock. "So do you want to know?"

"Yes, I want to know," Havelock said.

"The answer is that I don't know because I don't know what the alternative would've been," Daniel said. "Those things might have happened anyway. Jack could've been captured by Baal and I would've been here at the SGC, as helpless as Sam and Teal'c. Anubis would've gone to Abydos looking for the Eye of Ra whether I'd been there or not. Whether he would've destroyed the planet is impossible to say with any degree of certainty.

"Maybe my actions as an Ascended weren't enough. Maybe my ascension made things worse for everyone." Daniel paused, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Or maybe not."

"Daniel Jackson did not cause O'Neill's capture or the destruction of Abydos," Teal'c added. "But because of his ascension and the knowledge he shared we were able to take steps to attempt to counteract these events."

"And don't forget we got that nice engraved rock, too," Jack said.

"The key to the 'Lost City'," Havelock said. He put his hands up in a questioning manner. "Is it going to amount to anything?"

"Yes," Daniel said firmly. Havelock studied them all for a moment longer, then shook his head and pushed past them through the door. Jack sneered at his back before turning to Daniel.

"Is it really going to amount to something?" Jack asked.

"God, I hope so."

Jack sat glumly on the hard wooden bench in front of his locker. In the background he could hear Daniel and Teal'c in the showers, cleaning up after Jack had put the team through their paces in the gym. He was painfully aware that in putting the others through their paces, Jack had put himself through the wringer. Old age was a bitch and today she was hounding Jack with all the relentless tenacity of a terrier worrying a bone.

"Huh?" Jack wasn't sure if it was the concern in Daniel's voice or the water he was dripping all over Jack that had interrupted his thoughts, but when Jack looked up, Daniel and Teal'c were watching him with identical frowns.

"I asked you if you were okay," Daniel repeated.

"Sure, fine," Jack mumbled as he bent over to untie his shoes.

"I believe O'Neill has lost his mojo," Teal'c observed as he began dressing.

"Did not." Jack hadn't lost it. He knew exactly where his mojo was: lying on the floor of the gym, wheezing and clutching at its chest. CPR seemed futile and even undignified at this point.

"Then why are you just sitting here?" Daniel asked.

"Maybe I like the view," Jack said, staring into his locker. From the corner of his eye he could see Daniel and Teal'c exchanging glances. "Don't mind me. I'm just having a thing."

"A thing?" Daniel asked.

"A funk," Jack said.

"Funk?" Teal'c asked, pausing in the process of tucking in his shirt.

"A funk," Jack repeated. He sighed at Teal'c's obvious lack of comprehension. "A funk is the feeling you get when you realize that you've lost it."

"Lost it?" Daniel said, his eyebrows shooting up.

"What is 'it'?" Teal'c asked.

"Damned if I know, but I don't have it anymore."

"Jack, this 'it'...."

"You have it," Jack said, glancing at Daniel, who was wearing nothing more than a towel wrapped around his waist and miles of wet skin. Jack looked over at Teal'c, dressed now, but with biceps bulging from the sleeves of his t-shirt. "Teal'c's got it, too." Jack went back to staring into his locker while Teal'c and Daniel exchanged more confused looks. "You know, I not only used to have 'it,' I used to be 'it'."

"Ah," Daniel said, finally opening his locker.

"I do not understand."

"Jack's feeling old and unwanted," Daniel explained.

"You are neither old nor unwanted," Teal'c told Jack.

"Running around after three young, strong, healthy, young kids like you would make anyone feel old," Jack said flatly.

"Teal'c is twice your age," Daniel pointed out.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better exactly how?"

"Your mojo is definitely in need of rejuvenation, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"Jack's just being an idiot," Daniel said.

"Oh, fuck you, Boy Wonder," Jack muttered, ignoring the smile Daniel made to himself. "I'm telling you--I used to turn heads. People, especially those of the female persuasion, used to notice when I walked into a room."

"So you're feeling down because you're not attracting enough attention?" Daniel asked.

"I just want to know that I still can."

"For what reason?" Teal'c asked.

"Wha...? Because," Jack said defensively. Okay, so Daniel was right--again; he was being an idiot.

"Why wish for the ability to attract many when you only need to attract the attention of one?"

"Only one?" Jack asked, offended.

"Only one is necessary, if it is the right one."

Jack's head jerked up almost reflexively, his eyes meeting Daniel's as he, too, reacted to Teal'c's statement. Jack gave himself a little shake, and Daniel frowned thoughtfully as he turned to regard Teal'c.

"Do you not agree?" Teal'c asked.

"Yes, absolutely," Daniel said. He and Teal'c both turned to Jack.

"We're talking two completely different things here. You're talking about truly, madly, deeply stuff, and all I want is...." Jack's voice trailed off as Daniel and Teal'c continued to regard him with somber expressions. "Um...yeah, one would be good."

Teal'c nodded at Jack, a slight smile on his face, before shutting his locker and heading out the door.

"He makes me look so shallow," Jack complained to Daniel.

"Jack, next to Teal'c, the Grand Canyon looks shallow."

"I know what you're up to."

Jack raised his head slowly and laid his pen down on the stack of folders in front of him. He carefully looked around his office before turning his gaze to Havelock.

"You talking to me?" Jack asked, pointing at his own chest.

"I know what you're trying to do."

"Of course you do. The question is--why do you care?" Jack said. He pulled a form from the top folder and held it out for Havelock to see. "It's just a supply req."

"You can't fool me, Colonel."

"No, I can see that." Jack made a show of reading the requisition form. "I should've known you'd see the truth. After all, it's for...." Jack lowered his voice to a stage whisper, his eyes darting from side to side as if fearful of being overheard. "Toilet paper."

"Cut the crap, Colonel. I've read your file and you're a reasonably intelligent man. You were Special Ops. And you were good at it."

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "I'm a real pro at the cloak and dagger stuff...when it's necessary."

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

"The bottom of what, Major?" Jack said. The miniscule amount of patience he had for the NID had been exhausted the minute Havelock walked onto the base.

"Jackson: why he ascended, what he did while he was with them, and why he came back."

"He ascended because it was better than dying," Jack said, shaking his head in exasperation. "He spent a year trying to fit in with Oma's merry band of glowworms. And he came back because, apparently, it's easier to disobey my orders than hers."

"And whether he means to return."

"Return? You mean ascend again?" Jack asked. He shook his head in vehement denial. "Not going to happen."

"So you say," Havelock said, clearly unconvinced by Jack's assertion. "There's also the little issue of what vital information Dr. Jackson may have divulged to the other Ascended."

"Whether Daniel told them anything or not is immaterial," Jack said. "If they want to know about us, then all they have to do is float through the base."

"But you haven't seen them doing that, have you?"

"How could I? They're invisible," Jack said.

"Convenient," Havelock said.

"What?" Jack couldn't understand how any of this was convenient, but then he'd left that kind of overwhelming paranoia behind him.

"I just want to make sure that we understand each other, Colonel."

"I understand you're an idiot," Jack muttered to himself.

"I won't stop digging until I've got the real answers."

"Daniel's already giving you the real answers. But hey--feel free to dig," Jack said, throwing his arms wide as if inviting Havelock to search his office. "Just one condition--I lost my yo-yo a while back so I want you to promise you'll keep an eye out for it."

Jack smiled, delighted by the obvious effort Major Havelock was having to exert to avoid crossing the line into blatant insubordination. It was clear the NID agent had come to Jack's office intending to wield some subtle intimidation. Instead he'd merely provoked a slew of flippant comments that he couldn't respond to in kind.

"I have a job to do here, Colonel, and I fully intend to do it."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just a small word of advice, Havelock," Jack said just as the major was about to exit the room. "It doesn't pay to mess with the President's friends."

"I don't think the President is all that crazy about you," Havelock said.

"Me? No, not me. I was talking about Daniel." Jack smiled when Havelock looked back at him suspiciously. "Our Commander in Chief really is rather fond of Dr. Jackson."

"Right. I'll remember that," Havelock said sarcastically.

"I'm just saying," Jack called after him.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked when he finally found Daniel in his quarters. He was sprawled across the bed, head propped on one hand, reading through old mission reports and snacking on microwave popcorn.

"I live here," Daniel said, looking up at Jack with a puzzled expression.

"Right," Jack said. Well, ask a stupid question.... "Do you need me to talk to Hammond about getting you back out into the real world?"

"He's already working on it," Daniel said. "I guess there's a lot of paperwork involved in returning to the mortal plane."

"But it's been a couple of months. Surely something's been done."

"Apparently, as far as the bureaucracy is concerned, I'm still mostly dead," Daniel said with an easy shrug. "It's not so bad."

"You shouldn't be cooped up down here all the time."

"Teal'c is."

"Yeah, but Junior made it impossible for him to be out on his own. In case something happened to him, you know. It would be a little difficult to explain the snake in his gut."

"But he doesn't have Junior anymore."

"Good point," Jack said. "I should probably bring that up with Hammond, too. Anyway, that's not why I'm here. Come on."

"What?"

"Let's go. My place. Dinner. Cable TV."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"That's really not necessary, Jack." Daniel gestured around the room. "It's not much but it's more than I had on Vis Urban."

"Yes, and we still need to discuss that, O Naked One," Jack said. Daniel rolled his eyes and pretended to start reading the mission reports again. "Daniel."

"Jack?"

"Come on," Jack said. "I've got a whole year of aggravation to make up for."

"You aggravating me or me aggravating you?" Daniel asked.

"Yes," Jack agreed with an emphatic nod.

"How can I resist an invitation like that?"

"You can't. Get your coat."

"What?" Daniel asked in a distracted tone as he peered at the signs at the end of each aisle.

"Did I say anything?" Jack asked. He'd suggested stopping at Wal-Mart on the way home to pick up some toiletries so that Daniel wouldn't have to pack a bag every time he stayed at Jack's house. Daniel seemed content to call the SGC home for the time being, but Jack didn't like it. Possible spiritual growth aside, he couldn't help but see Ascension as having been a sort of prison for Daniel. It had confined him, stripped him of his power to choose. And the mountain felt too much like just another prison.

"You keep staring at me," Daniel said, walking over to the aisle with the shaving products.

"I was just wondering." And Jack blamed that on Major Havelock. Jack was content to simply have Daniel back among the living. On the rare occasion that he found himself mulling over the deeper questions about Daniel's experience, he found it very easy to shove those questions under the nearest rock where they belonged. Well, maybe not easy, but he was pretty damn practiced at repression.

"About?" Daniel asked, grabbing a five pack of disposable razors and tossing them in the shopping basket.

"Well, I know you're trying to sort out all of these new memories," Jack said. He took the package of razors out of the basket, returned it to the display, and replaced it with a package of ten.

"Yes?" Daniel prompted, rolling his eyes at the razors.

"What about the stuff from before you ascended? Your previous mortal life. Has all of that come back now?"

"I think so," Daniel said, biting at his lower lip as he concentrated. "At least, I haven't tripped across anything lately that I hadn't remembered. Why?"

"I don't know," Jack lied, watching Daniel reach for shaving cream. Jack gave himself a little shake and plunged ahead. "I guess I just wondered if you remembered what happened right before your big exit."

Jack was so wrapped up in his own ambivalence over bringing up the subject that it was a moment before he realized that Daniel hadn't responded. That Daniel had frozen in place, right hand wrapped around a can of shaving cream and breathing hard.

"Daniel?"

"I...um...."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Daniel shook his head but his breathing was still rapid: quick, shallow gulps of air.

"Daniel?"

"I'm...."

"Go," Jack said. He took the basket from Daniel's lax hand and dug his truck keys out of his pocket.

"What?" Daniel asked, staring at the keys Jack handed him.

"Go wait in the truck. I'll take care of this and be right there," Jack said, guiding Daniel toward the exit. Jack got into the express line, watching Daniel go out the door and hoping that he wasn't so rattled that he would forget where Jack's truck was parked. One of your better ideas there, Jack, he thought. Nothing like having meaning of life discussions in the middle of a damn Wal-Mart.

Jack grabbed the plastic bag from the cashier and hurried out to the parking lot. His truck was parked a short distance out, away from the vehicles massed closer to the store entrance. He didn't see any reason to tempt fate by parking in the middle of a bunch of cars whose owners probably didn't care whether they got a ding or a scrape.

Even in the rapidly growing dusk, Jack could see his truck clearly, parked under a street light about a third of the way down the row. The passenger side door was open, and Daniel was sitting sideways in the seat, his hands hanging loosely over his knees.

"Daniel?" Jack said quietly.

"Sorry," Daniel said, looking up at him. There was a definite tightness to his features, but his breathing was normal again. "It, um...it's still a little too real yet."

"What is?" Jack asked.

"Dying," Daniel said.

"What? Shit," Jack hissed as he realized what Daniel meant. "God, Daniel, no. I didn't mean.... You remember that? Dying?"

"It's okay," Daniel said, putting up a hand as if granting Jack absolution. "I'd already remembered it. I just...it's not very pleasant. I prefer to not to think about it too much."

"How long have you remembered...that?"

"Since shortly after I came back here." Daniel flashed a small smile at Jack. "Not Wal-Mart, back to Earth."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"What's to say?"

"You should've said something," Jack insisted, wondering how many nights Daniel had spent sitting in his sterile quarters at the bottom of a mountain reliving his own death.

"Why? It's just a memory," Daniel said, trying to downplay the impact that particular recollection obviously had on him. "I've already survived the real thing. This is just a...bad memory. It can't hurt me."

"Fuck." Jack pressed his fist to his forehead. He'd simply wanted to know if Daniel remembered their conversation, their last conversation. He hadn't intended to induce a death scene flashback. "I wasn't asking about that. Well, I guess I was, but I didn't mean to."

"What were you asking about?"

"Not now," Jack said, claiming his keys and closing Daniel's door. "One emotional trauma is more than enough for one night.

"I'm not traumatized," Daniel insisted.

"I wasn't talking about you," Jack said as he got in the driver's side. Daniel stared. His eyes were wide in disbelief, but the tension started to seep from his body, replaced by exasperation. "Let's go get something to eat, a few beers, and kick back for the rest of the evening."

Jack stopped in the doorway to the guest room. He'd shot out of bed not two minutes earlier when Daniel's shout had broken through his dreams. Now the house was quiet again. With the hall light behind him he could just see Daniel in the darkened room, sitting in the middle of the bed, the sheet crumpled across his thighs.

"Bad trip?"

"What?" Daniel looked up as if surprised to see Jack.

"Nightmare?"

"No, not...I just, um...."

"Daniel, you were yelling, begging someone to not make you do something."

"Choose," Daniel said quietly.

"Choose between dying and ascending?"

"No, that was never much of a choice."

"Choose between staying and coming back?" Jack asked. He wasn't sure he understood why that would be such a traumatic experience. A difficult choice, maybe, but enough to cause nightmares?

"Choosing between them and...you."

"Excuse me?"

"Baal," Daniel said tersely. "You were.... Baal was torturing you and I had to choose between saving you and...." Daniel looked away, distraught. "Between saving you and staying with them."

"Daniel, it's okay. You explained all that to me." Jack shrugged. "Admittedly, at the time I was not entirely appreciative of this whole non-interventionist policy of theirs, but I've gotten over it. I understand the position you were in. And hey--you did offer to help me glow."

"You would've hated it," Daniel said.

"Did you?"

"Not all of it." Daniel's voice dropped. "Just the parts that wouldn't let me help."

"You did help, though," Jack said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "You stayed with me until Teal'c's plan worked. You kept me sane."

Daniel closed his eyes tightly.

"Daniel?"

"You're such an obstinate bastard," Daniel said, yanking the sheets up around his waist.

"That's a compliment, right?"

"No," Daniel said shortly. "I had to plant that idea in Teal'c's head because you turned down the only other help I could give."

"So you did have something to do with that." Jack had wondered but he'd been reluctant to ask Teal'c for confirmation. He hadn't been sure that Teal'c would've been aware of Daniel's presence even if his suspicions were true. And Jack had been too uncertain of the truth of his own recollections to risk being labeled as a nut job.

"Sort of. I put an image, a thought, in his mind. He took it from there."

"Well, that's cool. It all worked out."

"God, Jack." Daniel finally raised his head to look Jack in the eye. Even with nothing more than the dim light from the hallway, Jack could see the angry color in Daniel's cheeks. "You asked me to...to.... You would've rather died than go with me. Do you have any idea how that felt?"

"Yes, actually, I think I do. Probably felt a whole lot like when you asked me to stop Jacob and let you go with Oma." Normally, Jack enjoyed the rare occasions he could leave Daniel speechless. This time he watched Daniel's stunned expression with no real sense of accomplishment. "You had no idea, did you?"

"No, I...." Daniel's mouth moved silently as he tried to process the information. "I thought you were sick of me."

"I was sick of a lot of things, Daniel. You weren't one of them."

"I didn't know. How could I have known?" Daniel said.

"Would it have made any difference if you had known?" Jack asked. It was something he'd played guessing games over for...well, for the entire time Daniel had been gone.

"In my ultimate decision?" Daniel asked. Jack nodded. "Maybe. I don't know."

Jack gave an exasperated sigh and started to stand up. Daniel grabbed him by the wrist, holding him on the bed.

"It would've made a difference to me," Daniel told him. "I don't honestly know if it would've changed my final decision--I mean, given the not so good odds of recovery--but it is something I would've considered. I loved you, Jack. How could it not have mattered to me?"

"Would it have stopped you from going through that lab window in the first place?" Jack asked. He could see in Daniel's eyes that no, it wouldn't have stopped him. But Jack could also see that a part of Daniel wished that it could have.

"Jack," Daniel sighed.

"Not our fault," Jack said, placing his hand against the side of Daniel's neck, rubbing his thumb along his jaw.

"No?" Daniel asked, obviously perplexed.

"Guys," Jack said, gesturing between them with his free hand. "We don't do the talking thing."

"Not very well anyway," Daniel said a soft snort of amusement. Jack couldn't resist any longer. He leaned forward, brushing his lips lightly against Daniel's once, then again.

"Now what?" Daniel asked.

"You mean 'now' in general?" Jack asked, continuing the kisses along Daniel's jaw and down his neck. Daniel let his head drop back, and Jack bit lightly at the top of his shoulder. "Or 'now' as in this specific moment right here?"

"Um...now now," Daniel said. "As in right now."

"Honestly, I was thinking sex."

"Sex?"

"Hey, we're in bed, both semi-naked, we're in love. Why wait?"

"Is this your idea of romance?" Daniel asked.

"Romance?" Jack asked.

"Courting? Wooing?"

"This is my idea of foreplay."

"Ah, the direct 'your cave or mine' approach," Daniel said, trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile. "And you expect that to work?"

"I could whack you over the head with a club if it would help," Jack offered.

"Thanks, but I really don't need any help," Daniel laughed. "I've been celibate for more than a year."

"So you're saying that you're finally desperate enough to do me?" Jack asked, looking down at himself with a frown. No two ways about it--gravity sucked. Certain areas could only be described as saggy.

Daniel grasped Jack's head and pulled him close for a kiss that, as far as Jack could tell, was not entirely desperate. Passionate and demanding, but definitely not solely desperate.

"I'm saying that I wouldn't be this desperate if you'd just gotten with the program faster," Daniel said. "And, by the way, you won't need the club."

"But I like using my club," Jack said, nudging Daniel down to his back.

"I'm warning you right now," Daniel said, pulling Jack down to lay along side of him. "I love you, I'm tired of being alone and I've nearly forgotten what sex feels like, but if you start throwing around double entendres I won't hesitate to kick your ass right out of this bed."

"My bed," Jack said. He stripped Daniel of his boxers, and then took his sweet time crawling back up his body. He ran his fingers up muscled thighs, quickly discovering at what point the pressure was too light to be anything but ticklish, and when it was strong enough to make Daniel sigh.

"So?"

"So nobody's kicking my ass out of my bed."

"Fine. I'll leave."

"No, you won't."

"No? Why not?"

"'Cause I'm the best damn kisser you've ever met."

"Prove it," Daniel challenged.

So Jack did. He'd never been so bold as to consider himself one of the last of the red-hot lovers, but he was completely confident of his ability to kiss the hell out of his partner, given the proper motivation. And Daniel naked in his bed was pretty much all the motivation he needed.

Jack focused so fully on possessing Daniel's mouth that he wasn't entirely aware of how he ended up lying between two long and solidly muscled legs. Honestly, he didn't care. He just groaned long and deep when their cocks rubbed together. Daniel pulled Jack's mouth back down to his own, breathing hard, but he wrapped one of his legs around Jack and pushed.

"Oh, shit," Jack groaned again as his cock was squeezed between their bodies.

"I know, I know," Daniel murmured. He nudged Jack up a little until he could slide his hand between their bodies and wrap it around both cocks.

"God, Daniel," Jack groaned. The feel of Daniel's hand, the rhythmic pressure on his cock, sent a sharp surge of pleasure through his entire body. He knew he wasn't going to last. He'd waited so long for this and he was going to pop like a cork before they even really got started.

"Apparently I'm not the only one who hasn't been getting any," Daniel said.

"Not...arguing...here," Jack grunted, looking at Daniel's face: flushed, smiling...and triumphant, Jack thought. He groaned again when Daniel's grip tightened. His whispered chant of Jack's name matched the increasing pace of his hand until Jack stopped worrying about going off too soon and started thinking that he'd lose his mind if he didn't. Daniel's cock suddenly spurted along his, and Jack let out a hoarse cry as his own cock jumped, Daniel pumping him until he thought his balls were being turned inside out.

"Jack," Daniel mumbled sleepily after a few minutes.

"Wha?" Jack mumbled back.

"We're messy."

"So?" Jack was sprawled half across Daniel, relaxed and drowsy and far too comfortable to even consider moving.

"So move."

"No." No, that was definitely asking too much.

There was a long pause.

"'kay."

"Rise and shine," Jack called cheerfully as he walked into the bedroom after his shower. Daniel raised a finger to silence him.

"Very eloquent," Jack said, noting exactly which finger Daniel was raising. But he was in much too good a mood to let Daniel's typical morning surliness bother him.

"Fuck off, Jack," Daniel mumbled, reaching blindly for the sheet that was tangled down by his knees. Daniel started to kick at the sheet, making his morning erection bounce lazily against his hip. Jack watched for a moment, appreciating the chance to see what he'd only gotten glimpses of in the darkness of the night.

"Get up," Jack said with affectionate exasperation. When Daniel just muttered at him he tossed his wet towel on Daniel's face.

"Bastard," Daniel said, his voice muffled by the towel.

Jack went to the kitchen, humming to himself as he got the coffee pot started. He shook his head, grinning, when Daniel shuffled into the kitchen fifteen minutes later with his hair still dripping from his own shower.

"Coffee's ready. Take a seat and I'll scare something up for breakfast."

Daniel poured a cup of coffee before sitting down at the table, a troubled look on his face.

"Shouldn't this be harder?"

Jack stopped in the act of taking the milk from the refrigerator. He studied Daniel's concerned face for a moment before turning to finish gathering their breakfast.

"It's just cereal, Daniel. Even a dumb jet jockey like me can handle cereal."

"Not breakfast," Daniel said, giving Jack an exasperated look. "I mean us. Shouldn't this be harder?"

"Well," Jack said. He concentrated on pouring milk over his cereal in the hope of getting some time to consider the question. Daniel made a 'give me' motion. Jack passed him the milk even though he knew that wasn't what Daniel was asking for.

"Jack?"

"One could argue that it has been hard," Jack said.

"How so?"

"We've pissed and moaned and bitched at each other for years."

"Which only supports my point," Daniel said, nodding. "As difficult as our friendship has been, how can this be so easy? Last night. Now. It all feels...normal. Right."

"We've been through too much," Jack said, trying to sink his Crunch Berries by smacking them with his spoon. "If we'd gotten together three or four years ago I think it would've been harder. By now we've seen too much, lost too much. I've finally learned to focus on the important stuff and let the details sort themselves out."

"I learned a long time ago that you have to grab what you can."

"Maybe more so now than before," Jack said.

"What?"

"You're different now." Jack grinned at Daniel. "Grabbier."

"Well, everything we experience changes us in some way. I suppose that my experiences as an Ascended had an effect on me, even when I didn't consciously remember them." Daniel shrugged. "I don't think it was a profound change. Was it?"

"No, just...you would never have told me how you felt before."

"By the time I'd gotten through the nightmare of losing Sha're, and finally realized what you meant to me, it was too late." Daniel smiled but the next words still stung. "You didn't seem comfortable with being my friend. I thought that suggesting anything more would be a bad idea."

"So it's my fault we haven't been getting naked and sweaty for years," Jack said. He didn't feel like he had any right to argue the point.

"I'd prefer not to think of it in terms of 'fault'," Daniel said. "The time just wasn't right."

"Fate?" Jack asked.

"Maybe." Daniel shrugged. "I don't really care. We're here now. Like you said--I'm not going to worry about the details."

"I don't trust Major Havelock," Sam said just before spearing a piece of grilled chicken with her fork.

"Really?" Jack said sarcastically. His eyes made a quick sweep of the restaurant, reassuring himself that no one was paying them any undue attention, before loading some more butter on his dinner roll and using it to sop up the last of the gravy on his plate.

"His line of questioning does not seem to follow established guidelines," Teal'c said.

"He is getting kind of...personal," Daniel said, frowning.

"Precisely," Teal'c said. "Major Davis has confined his questions to such topics as enemy troop strength and locations. These are logical issues to pursue."

"Anything of strategic value," Jack agreed. He eyed his empty plate with regret and wondered if maybe he shouldn't have ordered a steak instead of the fried chicken. Or maybe just extra mashed potatoes on the side. On the bright side, he had plenty of room left for dessert.

"Major Havelock seems to believe there is something more," Teal'c said.

"Like what?" Sam asked. She, Jack and Teal'c all looked at Daniel.

"There isn't anything more," Daniel said defensively. "I can give you gate addresses, some Ancient history and philosophy...." Daniel paused thoughtfully. "And we need to plan an excavation in Antarctica."

"Been there, done that," Jack said dismissively. He had no intention of returning to the big chill.

"There's more there," Daniel said. "Lots more."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked.

"It wasn't just an outpost. It was the center of Ancient civilization on Earth." Daniel looked around the table at them. "Trust me--there's more."

"So, aside from the Antarctic, is there anything else?" Jack asked.

"No."

"Sure?"

"That's it," Daniel said firmly. "There's nothing else."

"So why does Havelock think there is?" Jack asked.

"Because he's a paranoid asshole?" Daniel suggested.

"That's definitely a factor," Jack agreed.

"What if he thinks Daniel is still in contact with Oma?" Sam said.

"He isn't," Jack said flatly. He frowned and turned to Daniel. "You aren't, are you?"

"Would I have been wandering around Vis Urban naked and confused if I were?" Daniel shot back.

"Maybe...on one of your flakier days," Jack teased. Sam started to laugh but choked it off when she saw Daniel's exasperated look. She shrugged apologetically.

"Even on my flakiest day I wouldn't be that confused," Daniel said. "The truth is that when I left it was kind of a 'don't call us, we'll call you' situation."

"I do not believe Major Havelock accepts that," Teal'c said.

"Yeah, well...tough," Daniel said muttered. He took a sip of his after-dinner coffee. "Though, to be honest, even if I were in contact with Oma I wouldn't tell the NID. Can you imagine the frenzy they'd go into if they thought they had a chance at that kind of power?"

"What if that's it?" Sam asked soberly. "What if they're looking to somehow tap into the power of the Ascended?"

"How?" Daniel asked.

"By using you as a liaison," Sam suggested.

"As a mere mortal I have no power to influence them in any way," Daniel said flatly.

"Then perhaps the NID intends for you to ascend again."

"What?" Jack blurted out, nearly choking on his iced tea. Daniel just stared at Teal'c, his eyes wide. "That's insane."

"Even if I could ascend, I wouldn't be able to force their hand," Daniel said. "I wouldn't want to...at least, not the way the NID would want me to."

"What do you mean--if you could ascend?" Jack asked.

"I can't," Daniel said.

"You can't?" Jack asked, puzzled.

"He can't do it alone," Sam said suddenly. Jack turned his puzzled look on her. "After he descended, Orlin told me that he couldn't go back. Even after he was shot.... He wouldn't have been able to do it if the others hadn't come back for him."

"Is the process so difficult?" Teal'c asked.

"It's not easy. And if you get it wrong, it's...." Suddenly Daniel sat straight up in his chair. "Uh oh."

"Daniel?" Sam asked while Jack mouthed "uh oh?" back at him.

"You understand what that means?" Daniel said, looking at Sam.

"No," Jack said, answering for all of them and, furthermore, absolutely convinced he wasn't going to like where this was going.

"That means that someone had to have helped Anubis ascend."

For a moment all four teammates stared at each other, stunned.

"Well fuck," Jack said.

"You want to find Oma Desala?" Hammond said, looking around at SG-1 from his seat at the head of the briefing room table. "Why?"

"The Ancients helped Anubis ascend. We want to know why," Jack told him.

"I thought the Ancients were the ones who tried to make him...un-ascend," Hammond said.

"Didn't try very hard," Jack muttered.

"The fact is that you can't ascend by yourself," Daniel explained. "You have to have the help of other Ascended."

"Do you remember how to ascend?" Hammond asked Daniel.

"Sort of," Daniel admitted reluctantly.

"Sort of?" Hammond repeated. "But you can't do it?"

"No."

"I'm not sure that I understand," Hammond said.

"I'm not sure I can explain," Daniel said ruefully.

"Just because a person knows how to do something doesn't necessarily mean that they can," Sam said. "When reduced to physics, Ascension is essentially a matter into energy conversion. I can theorize how that conversion might be accomplished, but I wouldn't be able to actually do it."

"So Anubis had to have had help," Jack summarized.

"Probably," Daniel said quietly from beside Jack.

"What?" Jack asked, turning to look at Daniel.

"Well, Teal'c and I were discussing this earlier."

"And?"

"Anubis is a Goa'uld," Teal'c said. "It is possible that the knowledge and power possessed by a symbiote may make ascension easier."

"Then why haven't other Goa'uld ascended?" Sam asked.

"That's what we wondered," Daniel said, waving his hand at Sam. "And why didn't Anubis re-ascend rather than staying in this weird half and half state? It makes me think that the Goa'uld symbiote doesn't substantially affect the ascension process, but I can't be sure."

"All right, obviously we have some very important questions that need answers," Hammond said. "But how are you going to find Oma?"

"There's a place she goes back to frequently," Daniel said. "She seems to have some kind of connection to it, although I don't know what, exactly, that connection is."

"But is it the kind of place that humans can go to?" Hammond asked.

"What? Oh, yes, of course," Daniel said. "It's a planet. It even has a stargate."

"The plan is to go there, hang out, and see if she shows up," Jack said.

"That's a rather vague plan, Colonel," Hammond said. "Couldn't we simply send a MALP?"

"A MALP can't detect the presence of an Ascended being unless he or she chooses to make him or herself...detectable," Sam said.

"Then another SG team," Hammond suggested.

"Oma won't reveal herself to anyone but me," Daniel said with certainty. "I have to go."

"I don't like having SG-1 sitting essentially idle on an alien planet," Hammond said.

"General, Anubis is our biggest concern at the moment," Jack said although he knew Hammond didn't need reminding of that fact. "We need some kind of intelligence on the old wind bag. If this is the only way to get it, then I think we have to try."

"Very well," Hammond agreed with obvious reluctance. "You'll have forty-eight hours...."

"Two days?" Daniel protested.

"That's all I can afford to spare you."

"It's not enough."

"It'll have to be enough," Hammond said firmly.

Jack rapped briskly on the open door to Hammond's office.

"Jack?"

"Sorry to disturb you, sir," Jack said as he entered, closing the door behind him.

"What's up?" Hammond asked, setting aside his work.

"I have some concerns about the NID," Jack said in what had to be his biggest understatement. At least for that week.

"What kind of concerns?"

"I'm worried they might have plans for Daniel."

"Major Havelock?"

"What do you know about him, General?"

"Only the obvious," Hammond said, regarding Jack soberly. "I take it you believe there's more to the major than meets the eye."

"Havelock makes me nervous," Jack said. "And not just me. He's a little too interested in Daniel. He keeps asking questions that are not only outside the bounds of the debriefing, but that Daniel has already answered."

"I see," Hammond said thoughtfully. "What do you think the major's intentions are?"

"I think the NID wants the secret to ascension," Jack said.

"That much power would be intoxicating to the sort of people within the NID," Hammond said with a nod of understanding. "But Dr. Jackson has already stated that he is unable to ascend any longer."

"And if they believe him, then he's probably safe," Jack said. "But if they don't...."

"What do you suggest we do?"

"Overtly? Nothing," Jack said. "If they know we're onto them, they'll spook. I'd rather have them where I can see them...so to speak. But I'd also like to have Daniel where I can see him."

"Surveillance on Dr. Jackson?"

"It'd do a lot for my peace of mind," Jack admitted.

"I take it you don't want Dr. Jackson to know about it?"

"You've seen him, sir. His mind's going ninety miles an hour right now trying to figure out this Anubis stuff. He doesn't need anymore stress," Jack explained. "I'm pretty sure I can convince him to bunk at my place for the duration, so I'll be able to keep an eye on him off duty. When he's at the mountain we can have our security people monitor his whereabouts.

"Fortunately for us Daniel doesn't have a car yet. Generally when he leaves the mountain he has to wait for me or Carter or Fraiser to give him a lift into town. I'll fill both of them in on the situation."

"Wouldn't it be easier to simply tell Dr. Jackson about your concerns?" Hammond asked.

"Probably, but I'm the one who convinced him that it would be safe to tell us about his memories. The truth is that he was concerned about the NID specifically, and I downplayed those concerns." Jack gave Hammond a rueful smile. "Call me a coward, but I'm hoping that nothing will come of this and he'll never have to know just how badly I mis-assessed the situation."

"Surely he'd understand, Jack. After all, I don't think Dr. Jackson has ever believed you to be infallible."

"No, sir, not by a long shot," Jack said, shaking his head at Hammond's complacent smile. Jack groaned when Hammond continued smiling at him. "Okay, fine--I'll tell him."

"A wise choice, Jack," Hammond said in a paternal tone.

"But my death will be on your head," Jack said, rising from his chair.

"Naturally." Hammond's expression grew serious again. "Seriously, Jack, we'll do everything we can to keep Dr. Jackson safe."

"At the moment, I think off world is the safest place for Daniel."

"I'll authorize the mission to find Oma first thing tomorrow."

"Daniel," Jack drawled halfway through their second day at Oma's little hideaway. He looked around at the damn trees, which were dropping their rain soaked leaves everywhere. They kept sticking to him, leaving traces of leaf slime on his clothes and hands when he brushed them off.

"Jack," Daniel drawled in return.

"Feel free to rustle up ol' Glowy Britches anytime here."

"I can't bring Oma here. And if she is here then she already knows that I want to talk to her," Daniel said, sitting patiently on a fallen tree. "She'll either talk or she won't."

"Well, as long as you're on top of the situation then."

"Jack...." Daniel suddenly went completely still, frozen in the act of chastising Jack for his impatience. Jack had a déjà vu moment right back to Daniel's small bout of catatonia which had kicked off this whole adventure.

"Colonel? What just happened?" Sam asked.

"Daniel? Daniel!" Jack gave Daniel's shoulder a shake. Daniel's body swayed slightly with the motion, but he remained otherwise unresponsive. "Damn it."

"What has happened, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

"He's talking to Oma."

"Now?" Sam asked, looking as if she thought Jack was pulling her leg.

"This is how she talks to you," Jack explained. "She does some kind of Spock-y mind meld thing." Jack turned back to Daniel. "Daniel, damn it, let me in."

A momentary sensation of vague dislocation left Jack shaking his head. He needed a moment to register the fact that he, or at least some part of him, was now with Daniel and Oma.

"Daniel...." Jack stared at Sam and Teal'c. He could still see them. In fact, he could see all four of them, but it was like looking through a mist.

"Shut up, Jack, or I'm sending you back to wait with Sam and Teal'c."

"Why have you come here, Daniel?" Oma asked, ignoring Jack's arrival.

"I need some answers."

"Questions are plentiful, answers are few."

"So I've heard," Daniel said. "But I'm pretty sure you have these answers."

"Nothing is more manifest than the hidden; nothing is more obvious than the unseen," Oma said.

"Well, then, these answers must be staring me right in the face because they're not obvious to me." Daniel spoke first, saving Jack from having to confess his own ignorance.

"You chose to return to the mortal plane, Daniel. Our knowledge is no longer yours to share."

"Who helped Anubis ascend?" Jack interrupted.

"Anubis is not Ascended."

"But he was. Still is...sort of."

"We know someone helped Anubis," Daniel said.

"If you understand, things are just as they are. If you do not understand, things are just as they are."

"Yeah, there's a lot of that going around," Jack said impatiently. "Look--someone had to have helped him and I want to know who. And more importantly--why."

"Dualism vanishes by itself," Oma said gently, pointedly excluding Jack from the conversation. "When that unity is not clear, there is loss in both directions."

"The only loss I'm worried about right now is my world," Daniel said stubbornly. "Anubis has already destroyed Abydos; he will destroy the Earth. He'll enslave or murder every last human being in the galaxy if someone doesn't stop him. You know that."

"And we lack the supreme indifference of all you supposedly higher beings," Jack said snidely. "We have to do something."

"You cannot defeat Anubis through force."

"Then give us another way," Daniel pleaded.

"You cannot defeat Anubis," Oma repeated.

"Yes, I can. I will," Daniel said, his voice resigned but determined. "I'll find a way. And this time you won't be able to stop me."

"You know what--we don't want to overstay our welcome," Jack said quickly when Oma's expression grew puzzled. "We'll be going now. Thanks for the chat. Have a nice eternity."

"Jack?" Daniel turned toward Jack, a perplexed expression on his face.

"Let's go, Daniel," Jack said in a low voice.

"But...."

"Now. Let's go." Jack stared hard at Daniel, willing him to understand. Still frowning, Daniel reached for him. Jack found himself feeling a little woozy again as the images of Sam and Teal'c sharpened before his eyes.

"Colonel?"

Sam was staring at him with concern. Jack ignored her and grabbed Daniel by the arm. Daniel shuddered before he, too, was fully back with them, still frowning at Jack.

"Let's go, kids," Jack said urgently, grabbing for his pack.

"Is something wrong, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

"Go now," Jack said tersely, dragging Daniel along with him by the sleeve. "Discuss later."

"Immediate debrief, sir," Jack called up to the control room as he marched down the ramp. Hammond motioned that he'd meet them in the debriefing room. Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c nearly had to run to keep up with Jack as he took the stairs two at a time. Daniel stopped dead the minute he'd followed Jack through the briefing room door and turned a demanding stare on him.

"Now, Jack, what the hell is wrong?"

Jack looked at Daniel, swallowed hard, then turned to Hammond.

"General, I have reason to believe Daniel may be in danger," Jack informed Hammond.

"What?" Sam and Daniel both exclaimed. Teal'c regarded Jack with an intense frown as he crossed to the table.

"We've discussed that, Colonel," Hammond said, obviously confused as he took his customary seat at the head of the table.

"This is a different threat, sir."

"Different... What?" Daniel said, looking from Jack to Hammond and back again. "What threat?"

"From who, Colonel? Or what?" Hammond asked.

"The Ascended."

"W-why?" Daniel asked. Distracted, he dropped into a chair without taking his eyes from Jack. "Why would they want to hurt me?"

"Oma may have figured out that you remember everything now," Jack said, sitting down next to Daniel. Jack looked him directly in the eye so that he could see just how serious Jack was.

"How?"

"Daniel, you told her you wouldn't let her stop you like she did last time."

"So?"

"So how would you know that she stopped you last time unless you remembered it?"

"Oops?" Daniel said after a moment. Then he smacked himself in the forehead and groaned.

"Colonel?" Hammond prompted.

"We may have gotten out of there before we said too much," Jack said. "But hell, the very fact that we knew where to look for her was a dead give-away. If she thinks about it at all she'll realize what it means."

"And if she does there's nothing I can do about it," Daniel said in a resigned tone.

"What do you mean, son?"

"If she wants to do something about it, there's no way to stop her," Daniel said.

"We have to try," Jack insisted.

"You can't protect me, Jack."

"He's right, sir," Sam said before Jack could open his mouth to argue. "We wouldn't even know she was here until it was too late."

"I agree with O'Neill; we must find a way," Teal'c said.

"I thought the Ascended had a policy of non-interference," Hammond said.

"They can be pretty ruthless when it comes to protecting their own interests," Jack said bitterly.

"Look, we don't even know for certain that Oma realizes that I've regained all my memories," Daniel said. "There's no point in worrying about something that might not happen, and couldn't be prevented if it does. And what other threat?"

Jack froze, calculating the odds of successfully lying to Daniel.

"Colonel, I thought you were going to inform Dr. Jackson of your concerns," Hammond said sternly. His statement lowered Jack's odds of success considerably.

"It sort of slipped my mind," Jack said, keeping his gaze firmly on Hammond.

"Slipped your mind?" Daniel said, his voice unnecessarily loud given that he was sitting right next to Jack.

"Havelock," Sam said from across the table. And with that statement Jack's odds of escaping unscathed flat-lined.

"NID?" Daniel asked her. He turned to Jack. "The NID?"

"It's just precautionary...." Jack began.

"I told you this would happen," Daniel said.

"Yes, Daniel, you told me so. You were right. Happy now?" Jack asked sharply.

"Hardly," Daniel shot back.

"It's under control. We know about them and we've got you under surveillance...." Jack paused to give himself another mental kick in the ass.

"You're watching me?" Daniel asked indignantly.

"A prudent precaution," Teal'c said with an approving nod.

"Why aren't you watching him?" Daniel protested.

"We are," Jack said. "Just...not as closely. I don't want to spook him."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to spook you either," Jack said, placing his foot once more firmly in his mouth. Daniel bristled at his side, and Jack braced himself for the inevitable reaction.

"Dr. Jackson, were you able to learn anything from Oma Desala?" Hammond asked in a transparent attempt to deflect Daniel's attention from Jack.

"No, she was typically cryptic," Daniel admitted, throwing Jack a last angry glare before turning to face the general.

"She was beyond cryptic. She was pumping us for information," Jack said, disgusted with his failure to recognize Oma's strategy.

"What?" Daniel said, genuinely bewildered by Jack's assessment.

"She deflected all our questions with Zen crap and at the same time managed to find out what we know about Anubis. Which admittedly isn't much, but now she knows that."

"That may work to our advantage," Teal'c suggested. "Oma Desala may not see Daniel Jackson's memories as a threat if she believes they do not contain significant information."

"Doesn't matter," Daniel said stubbornly. "I don't care what she knows or doesn't know about me. I'm going to find a way to Anubis. I'll go back through every single reference to Anubis in Egyptian mythology if I need to."

"I would be pleased to assist you," Teal'c offered.

"No, I need you to go through Goa'uld mythology. There has to be something, even if it's nothing more than the reason they banished him," Daniel said, scribbling some quick notes to himself. "I want anything you can remember."

"I shall try," Teal'c said with a nod.

"Do it," Hammond said. "SG-1 isn't scheduled for another mission until the end of the week. Let's see what kind of information we can develop in the meantime. Dismissed."

Daniel nodded, up and out of his chair almost before Hammond had finished speaking. Teal'c and Sam followed close behind. Jack sighed and closed his eyes.

"Colonel?"

"This isn't going to end well," Jack predicted.

"Fucking NID," Daniel said, bursting through Jack's front door just a step ahead of Jack. "Pardon my fucking French."

"Daniel...."

"Don't ever keep something like that from me."

"I didn't want you to waste time and energy worrying about something that might not happen," Jack said, closing the front door behind them. "Besides, this is the kind of thing I'm trained for. You deal with the fairytales and weird aliens; I handle the morally corrupt humans."

"Fine, you worry about the NID and stop worrying about Oma."

"Easier said than done."

"There's nothing you can do," Daniel said.

"Don't ever tell me there's nothing I can do," Jack said angrily.

"Even if it's true?"

"Especially if it's true," Jack snapped.

"Very mature," Daniel said, turning to toss his jacket on the couch. Jack grabbed him and turned him around until they were nearly nose to nose.

"Don't tell me there's nothing I can do," Jack said in a quieter, more insistent tone.

"Okay," Daniel agreed softly. "Okay, I won't."

"There's always something I can try. I'm pretty good at thinking on my feet," Jack said. He needed to believe that he could do something, no matter how futile the effort might turn out to be.

"Don't hide things from me, Jack," Daniel admonished. "I don't need it and I don't want it."

"You've said it yourself--it's my job to protect."

"Yes, and there are times when I want you to do that. But don't ever try to 'protect' me from information. When I don't have all the information it makes it harder for me to protect myself," Daniel said.

"I know that. I just...I didn't want to admit that I'd made a mistake," Jack said, his gaze fixed on Daniel's shirt collar. Daniel's hands cupped his jaw and raised his head until he was looking directly into Daniel's eyes.

"What mistake?"

"I told you that the NID wouldn't be a problem." Jack was first puzzled, then annoyed by the amused expression on Daniel's face. "What?"

"And you really thought I believed that?" Daniel asked.

"Well...yes?"

"Come on, Jack. We both know the NID is always a problem. It's just a matter of degree with them."

"Fine. I get it. You don't need my help," Jack said. He tried to turn away from Daniel, but Daniel held him firmly in place.

"What I need is for you to do your job, just like I need to be able to do mine."

"Well, at least that means job security for me," Jack said, trying to find the bright side.

"What?"

"It's my job to protect. And given that your job seems to consist of taking risks, I'll never be out of work."

"What've you got?" Jack asked as he walked up to Daniel's work table. He gave Teal'c, sitting one side of the table, a brief pat on the shoulder before raising his eyes hopefully to Daniel.

"Not much," Daniel said with a sigh.

"Let me have it," Jack urged. "Start at the beginning."

"That's what we're doing," Daniel agreed. "Starting at the beginning."

"Waiting here," Jack said, motioning impatiently.

"Okay.... The basics: in Egyptian mythology, Anubis was the Lord of the Underworld. At least he was until Osiris took over his position."

"So some bad blood between them?" Jack asked.

"Not that we know of," Daniel said. "They were probably related. Siblings, maybe, although it's hard to decipher relationships in the Egyptian pantheon. Even harder to know if they hold true among the System Lords."

"These guys were heavily into incest, weren't they?"

"Yes, actually, they were. At least within royal lines," Daniel said. "It was the only way to insure that the throne remained within a given bloodline."

"Yadda," Jack said, shifting absently through some of the pictures scattered across the table top.

"Anubis was responsible for preparing the deceased, for weighing his heart against the feather of Maat, and for opening the way," Teal'c said.

"Opening the way? What's that?" Jack asked.

"Part of the ritual involved in passing through to the Underworld," Daniel said. He closed his eyes, grimacing. "Anubis was a psychopomp."

"He's psycho all right," Jack agreed. Daniel opened his eyes only to roll them at Jack.

"Daniel?"

"I'm going through every teeny, tiny mention of Anubis ever made in Egyptian mythology," Daniel said.

"And?"

"And so far I've got bupkis."

"What about Goa'uld mythology?"

"There is very little reference to Anubis," Teal'c said. "Although revered at one time, very long ago, he was only a minor System Lord. His cult, which was never large, has long since been abandoned."

"Okay, so Anubis was big in the Underworld at one point in time. Do we have any gate addresses associated with the Underworld?" Jack asked.

"Netu is the only Goa'uld world I know of that was associated with a specific vision of the afterlife, and it was ruled by Sokar," Daniel said.

"So maybe it belonged to Anubis first. Sokar might have taken over Netu after Anubis disappeared," Jack suggested.

"Not to my knowledge," Teal'c said.

"Well, I hope there wasn't a connection because then we'd really be S.O.L," Daniel said, rubbing at his temples. "Given that Netu was blown to bits."

"There is that." Jack joined the other two in silent contemplation. "Anubis and Osiris were tight?"

"Pretty tight. He was the one who prepared Osiris' body after he'd been murdered by Seth. He preserved it so that Osiris could return."

"So he spent some time on Earth?"

"Yes," Daniel said slowly, obviously lost in thought.

"So maybe...." Jack's voice trailed off when Daniel raised a single finger in a request for silence.

"That's it," Daniel said, his eyes widening.

"What is?"

"Anubis was the opener of the way," Daniel said.

"And?" Jack said.

"Don't you see?"

"Obviously not," Jack said. He glanced at Teal'c for confirmation, but Teal'c didn't seem any less confused than Jack.

"Anubis was the guide, or at least a guide, to ascension," Daniel said.

"How is that possible?" Teal'c asked.

"We know the Ancients have been around for a very long time. But we don't know for certain when they interacted with humans other than a few specific instances, like the Romans. My guess is that the Ancients didn't have anything to do with us, with modern humans, until well after the people of ancient Egypt rebelled, buried their gate, and the Goa'uld left Earth."

"But if the Goa'uld were gone...." Jack began.

"It's possible that Anubis met up with the Ancients out there somewhere," Daniel admitted. "But it's also possible that they connected here on Earth because we know that not all the Goa'uld left the planet."

"Osiris and Isis," Teal'c said.

"Because they'd been sealed in those jars by Seth," Jack added. "Vacuum packed for freshness."

"Right, although I'm thinking now that it may have been Anubis who placed them in the jars in an effort to save them," Daniel said, throwing Jack an annoyed look. "The fact is that Osiris was here. It's possible that Anubis may have still been here, too. Or that he came back. Possibly to look for Osiris and Isis."

"Familial devotion?" Jack asked sarcastically. Given that he knew now that some Goa'uld actually ate their young he didn't buy that for one second.

"Maybe," Daniel said. "Or maybe he just needed them for...something."

"But if the gate was buried how did he get here? Ship?" Jack asked.

"Or the Antarctic gate."

"You believe Anubis interacted with the Ancients at that time?" Teal'c asked.

"I'm not sure," Daniel said with a sigh of frustration. "It's almost impossible to nail down a provable timeline, but it's possible."

"Why would the Ancients have anything to do with a Goa'uld?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. Maybe they didn't fully understand the Goa'uld at that point." Daniel shook his head. "I not entirely sure they fully understand them now. Maybe they just didn't know that Anubis was a Goa'uld."

"How could they not know?" Jack said incredulously.

"I know I've told you this before but I'll say it again," Daniel said in a tone of overtaxed patience that Jack knew all too well. "Ascension is not synonymous with omniscience."

"I know that...."

"I don't think you really do," Daniel said. "I didn't know Anubis was ascended until he decided to let me in on that little fact. I have no reason to believe that the Ancients would recognize Anubis as a Goa'uld unless he did something...Goa'uldish."

"For what purpose would the Ancients share the knowledge of Ascension?" Teal'c asked.

"Enlightenment," Daniel said.

"Whose?" Jack asked.

"Humankind," Daniel said. "I've traced Ancient influence into early Oriental religion...."

"The Zen crap," Jack said.

"Jack," Daniel said through clenched teeth. Jack waved for him to continue. "I believe the Ancients, probably just a few of them like Oma, decided to help humans rise to a higher level of understanding. But even an Ancient can't be everywhere, and it makes sense that they may have taught certain humans how to guide others toward that step."

"Like the monk who resided on Kheb," Teal'c said.

"Exactly," Daniel said. He turned and started running his finger along the spines of the books on the shelves as he searched for a specific text.

"Do you really think they made Anubis one of these 'guides'?" Jack asked skeptically.

"He was the opener of the way. He guided souls from the land of the living to the land of the dead," Daniel said, pausing to pull a book from the shelf. He skimmed through a section quickly before closing it and shoving it back on the shelf.

"Okay, let's say you're right. Let's say that ol' Nuby managed to trick the Ancients into telling him their secrets...."

"Or maybe Anubis--the symbiote, that is--took this host after the host had been taught by the Ancients," Daniel interjected, frowning as he continued to search the shelves. "It all depends on the exact time frame...."

"Whatever," Jack said curtly. "The point is--how does this help us find him?"

"I'm not sure that it does. But I have another idea," Daniel said.

"You knew about this planet?" Jack said, his aggravation plain as he stood in the control room glaring at Daniel. "So why were we messing around with Oma?"

"I knew the planet had been deserted a while ago. It may not have anything left that can help us," Daniel explained. "Besides, Anubis' interaction with the Ancients is the key. It seemed logical to go to Oma first."

"Carter?" Jack had given up on ever getting Daniel to prioritize based on the same variables that he used. Sam, on the other hand....

"Daniel gave us a few gate addresses after he regained his Ascended memories," Sam said, glancing up from the computer monitor. "Some of those were already in our data bank thanks to the time you had all that Ancient knowledge downloaded into your brain. But a few of them are new. They're not on the Abydos cartouche either."

"Anubis was an Ancient and a Goa'uld," Daniel said from his seat next to Sam. "He could've built his own gate and placed it on a planet that neither the Ancients nor the Goa'uld knew about."

"So how did you find it?" Jack asked.

"If I remember correctly, I had a tendency to wander off on my own," Daniel said.

"Imagine that," Jack said dryly.

"Because I hadn't put away my Earthly concerns like a good little Ascended," Daniel continued after giving Jack a dirty look. "I kept looking for information that might help the SGC. I spent as much time as I could digging into the history of the Goa'uld. And Oma kept trying to deflect me."

"Is this all that you found?" Teal'c asked.

"More or less. This was the only time I found specific information about Anubis. About this planet. But I didn't think it was important at the time."

"What about where Anubis hangs out now?" Jack asked.

"Sorry. This is all I've got."

"We sent a MALP to P8Y-331 earlier this morning," Sam told Jack.

"And?" Jack prompted. Sam pulled up a video feed and leaned back in her chair so that Jack and Teal'c could see more clearly.

"It's Anubis' home world," Daniel said. "Or it was."

"This does not look familiar," Teal'c said as Jack continued to study the picture closely.

"That's because it's not typical Goa'uld architecture," Daniel said. "But if you look closely at the column reliefs...."

"Colonel, we had the MALP take recordings at set intervals over several hours. There's no evidence of life," Sam said, distracting Jack from Daniel's lecture on Goa'uld art, a move Jack silently thanked Sam for. "On your order I can send a UAV for more extensive reconnaissance."

"Do it," Jack said. Sam immediately went to prepare the UAV for launch. "Daniel, if this place has been abandoned...."

"It may still be able to tell us something about Anubis. Who or what, exactly, he is. And, bottom line, it's all we've got at the moment."

"Dr. Jackson?" Havelock's curt voice caught all of them off guard. Jack and Teal'c moved slightly closer together, blocking Havelock's view of the monitor.

"Yes?" Daniel said as he twisted around in his chair to look at Havelock.

"We have a debriefing scheduled."

"Er...right," Daniel said, glancing at Jack.

"Go on," Jack said. He wanted Daniel, and therefore Havelock, out of the control room before the NID man took an interest in what they were looking at. "We'll start working up the mission proposal for General Hammond while you're busy."

Jack walked boldly into the interrogation room, smiling maliciously at Havelock.

"Colonel, what are you doing here?"

"I got tired of watching through the one-way mirror," Jack said. He pulled out a chair and sat down across the table from Daniel and Major Davis. Daniel rolled his eyes in response, but Jack was fairly certain that it denoted affection rather than, say, annoyance.

"You weren't invited," Havelock said, walking around the table to stand over Jack.

"I know what you're doing," Jack said casually.

"What?" Havelock asked, looking confused.

"Trying to put the subject at a physical disadvantage," Jack said, gesturing to indicate the difference in their relative heights.

"I...."

"Daniel knows what you're doing, too, which is one reason the technique isn't effective on him," Jack said. He didn't bother adding that the main reason was that Daniel simply couldn't be intimidated. At least, not by a punk like Havelock.

"I'm going to ask you--again--to leave," Havelock said with almost brittle politeness.

"Davis, is there anything that says I can't be here?" Jack asked.

"Not by name...."

"Great," Jack said, sitting back and crossing his arms. He smiled at Havelock again. "Don't worry. You won't even know I'm here."

"Colonel...."

"G'head," Jack said, waving at Havelock.

"The Asgard, Dr. Jackson?" Havelock said, still glaring at Jack.

"The Asgard," Daniel repeated. He thought for a moment. "No, I didn't learn anything specifically about the Asgard. I do know that they and the Furlings were the ones who initiated the alliance of the four races."

"Really?" Davis said, leaning forward in interest.

"Yes, at the time they were both more interactive with 'lesser' races than the others. The Nox have always been somewhat isolated, but they recognized the need to cooperate with other advanced races. They wanted to try to bring all races into harmony with one another."

"Go back to the Furlings," Havelock said. "What did you find out about them?"

"They, um...." Daniel's frown deepened. "I don't know where they are. Or even if they still are. I can tell you what they looked like, but that's about it."

"Look like?" Jack asked.

"Not pretty," Daniel said.

"Unas ugly?"

"Think Unas crossed with Gadmeer. On acid."

"Ew."

"Colonel," Havelock said sharply. Jack threw up his hands and settled back in his chair.

"Anyway, the four races agreed to an alliance in an attempt to preserve and disseminate their knowledge."

"So what happened?" Havelock asked.

"What?"

"We sure haven't seen any of that knowledge."

"Not voluntarily," Jack muttered even though he found it distasteful to agree with Havelock on anything.

"The Goa'uld happened, for one thing. And humans were still considered too primitive at the time," Daniel said. "In the meantime, the Nox withdrew to their own world feeling that galactic harmony was a lost cause, the Ancients moved on, and the Furlings...."

"Yes?" Havelock prompted.

"The Furlings went in search of other universes."

"Don't you mean galaxies?" Davis asked, glancing up from his notes.

"No, I mean universes," Daniel said, looking bemused. "The Ancients may have learned to transcend the mortal plane, but the Furlings learned to transcend space and time."

"Cool," Jack said.

"Very," Daniel agreed.

"So just the Asgard were left?" Davis asked.

"Basically," Daniel agreed. "The Asgard became our protectors, sort of by default."

"More like zoo keepers," Jack said with a snort. "I mean, no offence to Thor and his little gray home boys, but they've been probing us for years."

"No. Well, yes...maybe more like curious babysitters," Daniel agreed. "I don't like some of the things the Asgard have done to humans, but I do know that they also felt a responsibility to help us when they could, as much as they could, without interfering in our natural evolution."

"Evolution," Havelock muttered disdainfully. He turned a challenging look on Daniel. "What about technology? Do you know where we can find any Ancient technology or weapons?"

"Well, I'm hoping we'll find something in Antarctica."

"But what exactly?" Davis prompted.

"I don't know," Daniel said. "I know what was there...and it was more than just a stargate and a woman frozen in the ice."

"Would you be able to use any Ancient technology we might find?" Davis asked.

"Not sure," Daniel said. "Guess I'd have to try."

"What was the nature of your powers?" Havelock asked, pacing slowly up and down the room.

"Powers?"

"Super powers," Jack said. "You know--faster than a speeding death glider, leaping tall planets with a single bound--that kind of thing."

"Ah, powers. Well, obviously I wasn't constrained by the limits of a human body." Daniel chewed the inside of his cheek as he thought. "The Ascended can interact with the physical world on a molecular basis."

"What does that mean?" Major Davis asked, looking at Daniel with a puzzled frown.

"You can...create matter by gathering the necessary elements. You can draw in energy, shape it, and then disburse it," Daniel said, gesturing in a futile effort to communicate enormity of the Ancients' abilities. "Like...like...."

"Like Oma zapping those Jaffa with lightening?" Jack asked.

"Yes, exactly," Daniel said, waving his hand at Jack.

"Can you still do that?" Havelock asked.

"Er...no," Daniel said, staring at Havelock in disbelief.

"How much autonomy did you have to use these powers?" Havelock asked.

"Probably less than I thought I had at the time," Daniel said ruefully.

"So they keep track of where the others are and what they're doing at all times?"

"No, not at all," Daniel said, shaking his head. "They're independent beings. And they are not omniscient."

"But you say that they knew what you were doing."

"I was kind of special case," Daniel admitted.

Jack tightened his jaw to prevent blurting out his automatic response to that description. He was certain that nothing showed on his face, but Daniel gave him a dirty look despite what Jack considered a remarkable display of restraint.

"How do you mean?" Major Davis asked.

"I was new. I needed to be taught. You could even say...trained," Daniel said, chagrined. "Oma is already walking a fine line and she needed to make sure I didn't do anything to upset the status quo."

"But the rest are free to do as they wish?" Havelock persisted.

"Well, within reason. There are certain fundamental rules that they're all supposed to abide by, but beyond that they're free to do and go as they please."

Jack stopped to roll his shoulders, working out the kink at the base of his neck, before returning to chore of trimming the bushes around the deck. Aside from the minor aches and pains it caused, he liked doing yard work. It was mindless manual labor. It demanded nothing more of him than perseverance and rewarded him with time spent in sunlight and fresh air. And, apparently, Daniel found Jack's labor intriguing because he'd been standing on the deck for the last ten minutes simply staring at Jack.

"What?" Jack called as he batted the bush with the shears to knock the fresh clippings to the ground. Daniel remained silent until Jack finally stood up straight and stared back.

"You've changed," Daniel said. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the deck railing.

"Me? No, I haven't," Jack said, dismissing the idea immediately. He wasn't comfortable with the idea of change, his own or anyone else's. Not to mention the fact that Daniel had done enough 'changing' in the last year to last them both a lifetime.

"You have," Daniel insisted. "I knew that the minute I came back."

"You didn't know anything the minute you came back," Jack said, beginning on the next bush. "You didn't even remember us."

"I remembered you, and you've changed."

"You must have me confused with that Jim guy," Jack said. He watched Daniel suddenly duck his head between his arms. "See! I knew it."

"Knew what?" Daniel asked, looking up with an innocent expression.

"You did know my name."

"I'd just come back from the dead--I didn't remember anything."

"You were just trying to yank my chain," Jack insisted.

"Would I do that?" Daniel asked.

"As often as possible." Jack threw Daniel a scowl before returning to his task. "And thank you for proving my point."

"What point?"

"I couldn't have changed too much if you remembered me that easily."

"Not too much," Daniel agreed. "I just said that you'd changed. I didn't say how much."

"Get down here and help me," Jack said. Daniel grunted in response, but he grabbed the rake leaning against the deck stairs and started to gather up the clippings. They worked in comfortable silence until Jack got the last bush trimmed to his satisfaction. He set down the shears and turned to Daniel.

"How?"

"What?"

"How have I supposedly changed?" Jack asked.

"You said yourself that you've learned to focus on what's important and let the details sort themselves out."

"Yeah," Jack said slowly. "But that could just be laziness."

"You're not lazy."

"Come on, Daniel. I'm always trying to get out of work."

"Even when you're trying to get away from your job, you're not trying to get out of work. You'd just rather be doing something else," Daniel said with conviction. "You're not the type to sit around doing nothing."

"I'm quite happy to do nothing. It's just that I never get the chance," Jack argued. His idea of a perfect day was eight hours of sleep, eight hours sitting on a dock with an un-baited hook, and the other eight hours evenly divided between Daniel and food. Although he was pretty sure that if he got creative he could find a way to combine Daniel with food. "If it's not saving the planet, it's doing the laundry. I never catch a break."

"Still...."

"Daniel, don't make more of this than what it is. I may have streamlined my life somewhat, but it's purely out of apathy." Apathy, antipathy, lethargy: it was all of those reasons and more, none of them positive. "Unlike you, I haven't gained any great self knowledge in the past year...something for which I am profoundly grateful."

"And you're playing the dumb card too often, too," Daniel said, his irritation with that ploy obvious.

"Hate to break it to you, especially now that we're getting naked together, but I am dumb."

"No, you're not. Ignorant--yes, on occasion. Dumb--no. And I don't understand why you do that."

"Maybe that's just laziness, too," Jack suggested with a careless shrug.

"You're not lazy, you're not dumb and you have changed," Daniel said, stubbornly refusing to be deflected.

"And you have never learned that what you see sometimes really is all there is to be seen."

"Fine, if that's the way you want to play it...."

"I'm not 'playing' anything," Jack said.

"Whatever," Daniel said, walking away from him with an expression that had gone very cold.

"Hey!" Jack jogged a couple of steps and grabbed Daniel by the upper arm, turning him back. "Don't give me 'whatever'."

"If you don't want to talk...."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Whatever," Daniel repeated defiantly.

"Hey!" Jack paused, uneasy with the nasty tone that was creeping into their voices. "Are we having our first fight?"

Daniel stared coldly at him for another moment, then a snort of dark amusement escaped him.

"Jack, we had our first fight nearly a decade ago."

"We did, didn't we?" Jack mused. "You'd think we'd be better at it by now."

"Oh, we're very good at fighting," Daniel said. "But it would be nice if we fought about something different once in a while."

"Why mess with a winning formula?" Jack said, smiling hopefully. Daniel shook his head in resignation. "Daniel, I'm not trying to be difficult...."

"No, it comes naturally to you."

"Touché," Jack said, wondering how he'd ever forgotten that Daniel was at least as quick as he was with the verbal thrust and parry. Daniel made an apologetic shrug. "I honestly don't think I've changed. I'm still a dumb, argumentative asshole. I always have been. I always will be."

"Okay."

They were frozen at that point. Then Daniel reached up and rubbed Jack's hand where it still gripped his arm. Jack knew that Daniel was willing to accept that, whatever the change was, Jack truly didn't see it.

Or maybe...he really just didn't want to admit it.

"You're back," Jack blurted, provoking a puzzled look from Daniel. "You were gone and now you're back and...and I'm glad you are."

"See, that wasn't so painful," Daniel said. He brushed his fingers over Jack's cheek, then smiled. "With a little practice you may even be able to talk about your feelings without resorting to the Idiot Jack persona first."

"What?"

"I'm glad that you're glad that I'm back," Daniel said, walking toward the house.

"I didn't mean anything by that," Jack called after him in protest. "I just meant that you're annoying and confusing and a constant pain in the ass and I actually had a moment's peace while you were gone which, of course, threw me completely off my stride."

"As long as you're happy," Daniel said flippantly as he entered the house.

"I hate when he does that," Jack told the neat pile of evergreen clippings at his feet.

"You still don't know which Ancient helped Anubis, do you?" Jack asked quietly. He was lying on his left side, Daniel curled up behind him in the middle of the bed.

"No idea," Daniel admitted, his fingers tracing random patterns along Jack's spine. "But even if we knew, what could we do about it? We have no power to affect the Ancients. We're not going to be able to make them stop him."

"One of them tried to stop him at least once in the past," Jack pointed out.

"I sometimes wonder if that wasn't Oma," Daniel mused. "We've seen her kill Jaffa before without hesitation."

"So why won't she help us...help you do something about him?"

"Even when I was ascended I had a hard time understanding why they made some of the decisions they did. Now...." Jack could feel Daniel shaking his head in resigned frustration. "I couldn't begin to guess at their motivations."

"I gotta tell you--I think your theory about Anubis taking the host after the host had been trained makes more sense than the Ascended being fooled by a Goa'uld."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I can't see one of those arrogant snakes having the patience to go through some mystical apprenticeship," Jack said.

"You do know that no one actually has to go through training to ascend, don't you?" Daniel asked.

"Um...yes?"

"Jack." He could feel Daniel's exasperated breath against his skin. "Anyone can be ascended. I was. You could've been. The ability to decipher Zen koans is not a prerequisite. The religious training is just...."

"Brainwashing?"

"I wouldn't go quite that far. The training insures that the candidates for Ascension will have the same philosophical leanings as the Ancients."

"Brainwashing," Jack said, nodding his head.

"No more than any religious or philosophical ideology."

"Religion, brainwashing: call it what you want it's all the same thing," Jack said firmly. Behind him Daniel went still for a moment, and then the restless brush of fingers against his skin started anew.

"You have issues, don't you?" Daniel asked. His breath tickled at the back of Jack's neck as Daniel's hand slid around his ribs to his chest.

"Former Catholic, current atheist: what do you think?"

"I think your cynicism is infinite," Daniel sighed. "The truth is that either scenario is better than the possibility that an Ancient helped Anubis knowing that he was a Goa'uld."

"Enough shop talk," Jack decided. They were in bed; they had more interesting things to talk about. Besides, his skull needed reinforcing before his brain could be expected to cope with the weight of Daniel's knowledge without exploding.

"What do you want to talk about?" Daniel asked, his fingers mindlessly threading through Jack's chest hair.

"Actually, I was thinking since you're already back there you might want to work up a little...enthusiasm."

"My enthusiasm is just fine," Daniel chuckled against his shoulder.

"I beg to differ--it's just lying around back there," Jack said. "And I have to wonder if this means that you've finally noticed the wrinkles and saggy bits?"

"I kind of like the 'saggy' bits," Daniel said. He laughed again. "In fact, your 'saggy' bits are one of your best features."

"Asshole," Jack grumbled. Then his breath caught as Daniel's hand slipped down and began stroking him. Behind him, Daniel's enthusiasm was building nicely. Jack closed his eyes, rocking slowly into Daniel's fist, then rubbing back against his cock.

"Jack?"

"Do whatever you want," Jack invited, content to drift in a pleasant low-level arousal. Daniel pushed Jack's legs forward until he was curled into a semi-fetal position. Daniel slid his hand along under Jack's thigh, making him jerk when he brushed against his balls. Seconds later, Daniel pushed, and Jack blew out a long, deliberate breath as he was stretched wide.

"Oh, God," Jack groaned. "That's so, God, I don't know what it is but it's good."

"Very good," Daniel agreed as he began to rock his hips. "Too good. Jerk yourself."

"Huh?"

"Jerk yourself. I want to see you. I want to feel it when you come."

"Jesus," Jack groaned, jerking his ass back onto Daniel.

"That's it," Daniel murmured, increasing the power of his thrusts. "Now touch yourself."

"No," Jack said. He was very definite about that. He was in the mood for long, lazy lovemaking. His hand, however, had other ideas. He gripped himself firmly, squeezing just as Daniel pushed right into his very center.

"Oh, God," Jack said, stroking vigorously in rhythm with Daniel's movements. It should be a violation of the laws of nature that he wasn't allowed to feel this good all the time. Or even half the time. Or even, it would seem, five minutes at a time. Jack groaned in frustration. "Oh, fuck you, I'm going to come too soon."

"No, s'perfect timing," Daniel said His movements were powerful and relentless, his breathing increasingly erratic. Jack cursed silently as he felt his body convulse around the intrusion of Daniel's body into his own. He whipped his hand along his shaft, milking the orgasm right out of Daniel's cock and through his own.

"Crap," Jack muttered when he could catch his breath again.

"Cramp?" Daniel asked, his breath hot against Jack's sweat cooled skin.

"No," Jack said, although he did ease his legs down a bit. "Just...it's never enough. I can't get enough. I want to feel that way all the time, be with you feeling like that every damn minute."

"Jack...?"

"God, I really have lost it, haven't I?" Jack said, wondering what on Earth, or off