You're Beautiful Stalker Remix (You're Beautiful Parody)

Tom Gleeson: Do you all like the song You're Beautiful by James Blunt? You like that? You don't like it? Yeah, I don't know if I like it 'cause people think it's romantic but it's not right.. if you listen to it properly… It's just about James Blunt staring at a girl on a train, right. I reckon that sounds a bit suss. Right, can you play? Nice and loud? Have a listen properly, right.

Imagine being the boyfriend of the girl that he's just staring at. Right, you're on a train minding your own business and James Blunt walks up to you...

My life is brilliant. Yeah, good for you, mate!
Just try not to look at him ok, he'll go away. Don't make eye contact, Just ignore him...
My life is brilliant. You said that!
My love is pure. What does that mean?
I saw an angel. This angel?
Of that I'm sure. Right!
She smiled at me on the subway. Here we go.
She was with another man. Yeah, that would be me mate!
But I won't lose no sleep on that, 'Cause I've got a plan. That plan better include pissing off!

You're beautiful. I know! You're beautiful. Yeah, I know she is!
You're beautiful, it's true. Why do you think I asked her out in the first place?
I saw your face in a crowded place, We're on a train, stop perving!
And I don't know what to do, You can go and get your own girlfriend.
'Cause I'll never be with you. You got that right!
Can you believe this guy? I knew we shoulda got a taxi. Why do we always have to get the weirdo?
Yeah, she caught my eye, Were you looking at him? As we walked on by. No, I don't think he's cute.
She could see from my face that I was, Flying high, He's on drugs!
And I don't think that I'll see her again, You're not seeing him again.
But we shared a moment that will last till the end. The end's coming sooner than you think.

You're beautiful. I know! You're beautiful. Of course, I think you're beautiful!
You're beautiful, it's true. I think it's true as well.
I saw you face in a crowded place, It's called 'public transport'.
And I don't know what to do, You can stop busking and go and get a proper job.
'Cause I'll never be with you.
yeah coz you're gonna be home alone having a pull while thinking about my girlfriend, you sicko!!
why don't you go do your la-dee-da on some other carriage and leave us alone. We're just trying to get to Brixton.

You're beautiful. I know! You're beautiful. She's alright...
You're beautiful, it's true. She has let herself go a bit.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face, I'll wipe that bloody smile off your face.
When she thought up that I should be with you.
What do you mean 'should be with you', what 'should' supposed to mean? Don't you think I'm good enough?
But it's time to face the truth, What would that be?
I will never be with you. Alright, here's your dollar, now piss off!