Another kind of love is
PHILIA LOVE (FRIENDSHIP)
Friendship in most society's has lost it's true meaning and has become what it shouldn't be. Most people don't think about what friendship is because most people don't experience it. It's hard to get through life without experiencing to some kind of degree Eros and Storgy love. Without Eros none of us would be born and without Storgy none of us would be reared. Pub friends people who play games together, drink together, go fishing together etc are called friends, but this is not TRUE friendship. Philia is not universal. Philia is the least natural of our loves. It has least dealings with our system. There is nothing throaty about it, nothing that quickens the pulse or makes you red or pale. It is not a necessity, we can live without it. Eros and Storgy are obviously connected with the body. Nature pulls the strings and we are the puppets. But with Philia we have the feeling of being free from all of that. Philia love is not just men getting together as in a club going fishing or hunting as pals. True friendship goes deeper to sharing our deepest thoughts.
It's like the difference between liking an actors act and knowing him as a man.
For example if we think we know someone and have spent a lot of time with him and been together for a long time, then we go our own ways say for 5 years, if after that we meet again and greet each other and talk a little we will find that we hardly have a word to exchange. What was there before was just a common aim. It's here we can distinguish between a friend and a common companion. With a true friend the old unity will still be intact, the relationship will be taken up again as if we had only been parted for a few hours. The difference between friendship and companionship depends on the shared activity.
Eros love means because she is my goal my end, my quarry, because I need her and she me because we are key and lock. But friendship, means because we have the same goal the same journey because we are both filled with the same need. Happy Eros is nearly always combined with Storgy and Friendship.
By saying that Eros is combined with friendship I have, you noticed assumed that there can be friendship between a man and a women. There are people who don't believe this. There are of course societies where this doesn't work. I don't think lovers can be in the true sense friends as well as lovers unless they are the sort of man and women who would be friends even if they had not fallen in love.
Some scriptures on friendship:
Prov 18:24 24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Ecc 4:10-12 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no-one to help him up!
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
John 15:13-15 13 Greater love has no-one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
STORGY LOVE
Storgy love is affection. It is a humble modest love. It has a homely face the mother cuddling baby love. It is not out to prove anything, not out to prove cleverness. It is so organic that you cannot pride yourself on it. A most comfortable and least ecstatic of the loves. Storgy is a base or medium for other loves , as is a drink like gin were you to mix it with many other drinks and make a cocktail. It is naturally taken up into friendship and eros. A storgy kiss is quite unique. Whereas Eros kisses for example are a mixture of both. Storgy has far higher value than just comfort, it comes near to agapes power of loving the unlovable, it certainly loves the unattractive. Storgy can unite those who wouldn't really be matched, it loves people we have nothing in common with. Storgy is a natural love of the world, it is not to be mixed up with Agape love which is Holy and of God. Storgy unless submitted to something higher does not remain storgy. This natural love carries in it the seeds of hatred jealousy envy etc. A person who has no storgy love but expects to receive it, without giving it, because he thinks it is built in , will be all the more unlovable; he will be shocked or even outraged because people do not show love to him Once this situation exists it will continually worsen, leading to injury and then guilt.
The balance of Love
To have the balance we must have four ingredients
1. Love 2. Obedience 3. Truth 4. Faith
We can say we are going to trust but inside we can't. Faith and obedience then is not all we need , there must be something else. Faith and Obedience needs Truth and Love. Truth and Love go together, if we separate truth from love our knowledge alone can cripple someone. For eg. You're in real need of love and all you get is a lecture or rebuke, this does not minister life. Love is the anesthetic that helps us through the operation of truth.
TRUTH WILL GIVE US DIRECTION FOR OUR OBEDIENCE AND FAITH, AND LOVE WILL GIVE IT MOTIVATION.
If we are not motivated by love we are motivated by fear.
Perfect love drives out all fear. 1Jn 4:18
We trust and love those whom we feel love us without reservation.
Faith comes more naturally to those that love God.
It is also possible to be too emotionally without truth. This is sentimental and doesn't usually get the two people anywhere and can make things even worse.
Now continue to the Character of God --------
Love (cont)
