LoEHS at Salute

LIES AND FACTS ... by Stephen Hunt Sunny London and the splendid Salute surely wouldn’t be complete if the League of Extraordinary Hockey Shirts didn’t make an appearance. So after a quick nip into a phone booth (also known as a four-hour train journey during which LoEHS regular Crimson Duck thought he was offered “drinks or sex” by the trolley girl – several times. Animal magnetism, I guess), Chipchat and T-Shirt Boy eagerly broke into their Collateral Damage boosters for the tournament. (So technically only one of the LoEHS entered the tournament and all our hopes rested upon the Huntmeister! ... CD). Team mascot Craig couldn’t resist playing the midget in a suit that he pulled, so Dr Psycho was joined in his team by a rookie Green Lantern sporting the Teen Titans team ability, a rookie Hive Trooper as mastermind fodder and a rookie Clayface. Elsewhere, I ummed and ahhed until I rejected the veteran OMAC I pulled in favour of some monkey lovin’, teaming Monsieur Mallah and the Brain up with an experienced Blue Devil, a rookie Katana and an experienced Manhunter. Popping Running Start on Katana took the total to exactly 300.	The players are gathered to battle it out for half a factoty set, though most have one eye on the Spectre Draw too

Round one saw Craig face Steve Beer, and it wasn’t a pretty sight. Steve’s combination of a veteran Dr Light, a unique Jonah Hex, rookie Clayface, veteran Azrael (maybe experienced) and a Black Mask (rookie, I think) offered too much for Craig’s crew, with veteran Dr Light’s range being particularly potent when combined with wildcarding Azrael’s Batman team ability or passing his high attack on to Batman enemies. Facing the monkey team was one of Drew’s crew up from Plymouth. Jack also fielded a Dr Light, this one being a rookie, alongside a rookie Emerald Empress, experienced Green Lantern, experienced Hive Trooper, and a couple of pogs, Uncle Dudley and Ted Knight. The battle was fought out on the Armour Wars map, and I had a grand plan all figured out. Katana boogied into the main room ready for battle, hiding in her stealth and getting ready to use her Outsider ability to deprive Green Lantern of his energy shield bonus, while the rest gathered ready for Monkey to lead the charge. Perfect plan. Until Jack blew a hole in the wall and forced me to change tactics entirely. Monsieur Mallah took a big chunk out of Emerald Empress only to have Green Lantern give him a hefty slap in return, taking away his outwit. Meanwhile, Jack used his pogs to slow up Katana who embarrassingly struggled to hit them. Blue Devil and Manhunter came to the rescue, using heavy objects to take out first Emerald Empress and then GL. Jack wasn’t helped by some dodgy dice rolling, though he didn’t fare as badly as his Plymouth buddy Rob later on, but he did take out Manhunter. Dr Light was taken out by Blue Devil, whose probability control proved priceless, which left Katana (once she got rid of the pogs) to go toe-to-toe with the Hive Trooper for the final kill.	Huntmeister, the only LoEHS member in the event plays to the best of his ability but falls short of a final place finishing a disappointing fifth

That put me up against Steve Beer on the top table on the new Junkyard map, and his stealth proved invaluable. A smidgeon of careless placement by Steve in the early part of the game saw Monsieur Mallah weigh in with a running shot on Black Mask that effectively took him out of the game as a threat, but didn’t do enough to kill him. After that, it became a waiting game as both teams huddled on opposite sides of the garbage compactor. With no sign of Clayface and chums making a move, and veteran Dr Light controlling the central space while hiding in cover, Monkey and Co charged into the fight. For a few moments, it looked like there was a chance, but Azrael blasted away the blocking terrain that was obscuring Dr Light’s line of fire, and Katana’s dash to base Dr Light didn’t help when his hit on her had added knockback to send her flying towards Black Mask. By this stage, both of those two were so hopelessly ineffective that a slap fight followed in which neither could do any damage whatsoever to one another. Back at the main fight, Manhunter and Jonah Hex both toppled and Clayface took enough damage to make it very hard for him to hit, before the combination of Azrael and Dr Light took down first Blue Devil and then Monsieur Mallah – who had been first to be injured by Dr L. But not before Monsieur M bumped off Sue Dibney, surely in an unholy alliance with Dr Light. Rubbish as she was by this stage, Katana was the last to fall, again to Dr L. In a case of swapping opponents, Craig took on Jack, but couldn’t fare any better than he did against Steve Beer. His post-match comment of “got my ass handed to me” was about the most I could find out about the battle, so I’m guessing it didn’t go well.

The final round saw Monkey and his chums face Rob, another of the Plymouth crew, who was fielding a team of experienced Black Lightning, rookie Green Lantern, rookie Speedy, veteran Geo-Force and rookie Dr Mid-nite. Again, the Lab map saw some use, with the battle taking place in the regular main room this time, although I came at it from the opposite side this time. A running shot from Monsieur Mallah put a big hole in Black Lightning, and Katana moved to block any return shot on the monkey, but that left Blue Devil out in the open for Speedy to have a shot, which led to the first of many appalling rolls for Rob. Green Lantern also joined the fray with a running shot, but again, no joy there. Geo-Force scored a hit, though, on Manhunter, which led to Blue Devil carrying her into battle, while Mallah kicked some lumps out of Green Lantern at range. Black Lightning quickly toppled, while Green Lantern retreated for healing. Which again saw bad dice rolls not help him out. By the time there was a second chance, Geo-Force was injured and Blue Devil was camped next to GL along with Katana and Manhunter. First, GL tumbled, then Monsieur Mallah popped Geo-Force, leaving it only a matter of time before the others fell. But Rob’s dice did work once, to take out Manhunter, before Dr Mid-nite was the last to fall. Not enough to get me into the final, but a good day with some good games – and Spectre came home with me, so I’m happy. Craig rounded off with a battle against deserved Fellowship winner Gareth. Gareth’s team featured rookie Green Lantern, rookie Shadow Lass, unique Orion and Sue Dibney, and after strolling by after my game with Rob, I can honestly say it was one of the most bonkers games I’ve seen in a long time, with Gareth steadfastly resisting Craig’s insistence that it was alright if he hadn’t declared his ranged combat expert, he could still do the damage, and a mind-controlled Green Lantern taking lumps out of his own team, before a squabble began over who could do the most to make sure Sue Dibney ended the game alive. Craig won, with Orion and Shadow Lass taken out of the fray in exchange for Craig’s rookie Green Lantern and Clayface, but it hardly mattered at the end, with both sides chuffed to have had a good game. Craig piped up that it was the best game of Heroclix he’d ever played, so kudos to Gareth (and half a factory set!).

The final was between Steve De Bono, whose progress to the final had been formidable, and Daniel, a chap studying at York who hopefully might make it to the BoroClix venue. The empire expands! Steve is a pretty formidable player, so all the more kudos to Daniel for beating him to claim the other half of the factory set. All in all, a smashing day, leaving us to wind our circular way home (“It’s a circle!”) carrying boxes upon boxes of stuff. Lots of praise to the organisers, waves hello to fellow players, and we’ll see you all at the nationals!
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