Hair to Wear | www.hairtowear.co.uk

My personal experience of hair loss...

In 1988, when I was 20 and in my first year at Polytechnic, I started to lose my beautiful long blonde hair at a very alarming rate. By my 21st birthday in March 1989 I had large bald patches at the back and side of my head, which I attempted to cover with the remaining hair and a large number of hair grips. By the summer of that year I was totally bald and resorted to wearing scarves. My hair loss was put down to stress.

At the age of 19, with hair

I was referred by my doctor to a specialist, who diagnosed alopecia universalis, the most severe form of alopecia, in which all head and body hair is lost. A couple of treatments followed, one involving taking a course of steroid tablets. I was afraid these would make me put on weight so I exercised regularly. Another treatment involved taking a tablet and then going on a special sun bed that emitted only UVA light. Well, I got fit and had a year-round tan, but my hair did not reappear

Hair loss was not something new to me, I had lost my eyebrows when I was about 14. This was not really a problem, as my hair was very fair, so having no eyebrows was not noticeable. My doctor prescribed steroid cream, and downy hair grew back, but as steroid cream actually thins your skin, it is not advisable to use it for long periods of time. When I stopped using it the hair fell out again. During my teens I had experienced a couple of bald patches, about the size of a 10p piece, at the back of my head. This was also not a problem as they were well hidden. Hair grew back and the bald patches disappeared. I now know that at that time I had alopecia areata. It is estimated that seven per cent of people who suffer this form of alopecia will go on to have total hair loss.

I continued to wear scarves through my three years at college but always felt very self conscious and unattractive and rapidly lost my confidence. Looking in the mirror was hard initially. I did not see myself, I saw someone I hardly recognised. I felt like I had lost my identity because my physical appearance had changed so dramatically and felt that people were judging me on my appearance.

Before going for my first job, I decided I needed to go and buy my first wig. I was referred by the NHS, but found the wigs available of limited choice. Many of my wigs were really unattractive and I hated wearing them. I was too embarrassed and humiliated to go looking for anything better and basically just bought the first thing offered.

Eventually I did find one wig supplier who I felt comfortable with but then she moved. Again I bought a few disastrous wigs until thankfully, again, I found a fantastic wig supplier, who I felt extremely comfortable with. Her daughter had actually lost her hair after an operation and she was very sympathetic to my condition. I felt very comfortable, and through her I found my best wig ever and have since been very pleased with my wigs. At last I had managed to find that there really are beautiful wigs available. Two words - 'wigs' and 'beautiful' - I would never before have thought possible to use in the same sentence.

After trying conventional treatments, of steroid tablets and UVA, I turned to alternative therapies. Homeopathy - I enjoyed the chat; reflexology, reiki and spiritual healing - very calming; acupuncture - extremely painful; Chinese herbal medicine - the most grotesque thing I have had to drink in my life. I even tried applying aromatherapy oil, with ginger on to my scalp - a burning sensation and then hitting myself on the head with a very small hammer containing pins. Great lengths to go to but really I would have done anything to get my hair back.

I always felt completely ashamed and embarrassed that I was bald. I never wanted to talk to anyone about it. Unless you have lost your hair then I think it is hard to really understand how utterly devastating it is. The impact on your self esteem can be so severe that your sense of self or identity is broken. As with the loss of anything precious to you, it is natural to grieve and experience feelings of anger, depression and emotional numbness.

Once a girl I used to work with said to me: “Sarah, your hair always looks so lovely, how often do you have it cut?” I looked at her, thought for a moment and said: “Oh, this isn’t actually my hair, it’s a wig.” Firstly, I was surprised that she had not guessed I wore a wig and, secondly, I had to consider, by telling her I wear a wig, would I turn it into a horribly embarrassing situation? This was actually a massive turning point for me. From then on I started to talk openly about the fact I wear a wig and found that most people do not notice if you are wearing a wig and, if they do, they are very supportive.

In 17 years my hair has never grown back. I have mourned the loss of my hair but life goes on. Personally I have found that finding a wig that I really like, that looks natural, is comfortable to wear and helps me feel like me again has helped me regain my confidence, self esteem and identity. Hair loss is difficult to come to terms with but you really can lead a normal life, have successful relationships and a successful career.

Launching Hair to Wear in 2006

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