Holding anger and resentments saps both your physical and spiritual energies. The energy leak makes a person chronically lethargic.

Overcoming rage is a toughest goal to achieve. You can read all the books and analyse all the theories in the world, nothing is rarely remembered when anger strikes. All of a sudden, the overwhelming mind rages like an uncontrollable wild bull.

The most practical advice on dealing with another person's anger appears to be the analysis of "Amygdala Rush Syndrome" (Not sure where the original source comes from). It is when a part of the human brain secretes "anger hormones", the person is basically under its control for about ten minutes. It is best not to attempt anything until the anger subsides. Once the person is a bit more rational then try to gently and respectfully handle the incident.

When dealing with an angry person, facts alone don't work. The person gets even more defensive and resistant if you persist on presenting your facts. Empathy is probably the most effective approach.

Your own anger and long term resentments are slightly easier to deal with. You can't control other people but you can alter your own state of mind. You might find the following anger management strategies useful:

• Breathing Exercises
• Practise Forgiveness
• Disassociation
• Desensitization
• Self-Hypnosis for Controlling Anger

"Make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes while imagining yourself floating. Concentrate on your breathing. Breathe in refreshing CALMING OXYGEN through your nose for the count of four. Take the air to your belly and hold for four. Breathe out ANGER through your mouth for the count of eight. Just let the anger toxin easily leaves the body for good. Visualise it disintegrating into insignificant harmless microscopic droplets."

Practising forgiveness is the most effective action you can take. Forgiveness doesn't condone bad behaviour, it simply allows you to let go and establish inner peace and emotional freedom. If it is something serious, why should you have to suffer any more than you've already had? If it's something trivial, it's not even worth bothering. If you see yourself through the eyes of a victim, you feel angry. However, if you step back and disassociate yourself to alter your perception, e.g. de-awful-ise the other person's intention then you'll find your anger dissipating. Just remember this, you are not doing it for anyone else but your own well-being.

Now take a deep breath and let go ....

Wizdom updated on 28 Dec 2005

PS If you are a parent, you might enjoy reading this story which shows how a little boy's anger suddenly disappears during a tantrum.

Further Reading:

• Anger: Buddhist Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
• Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life by Thomas J. Harbin
• Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You by Patricia Evans
• The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships by Harriet G. Lerner
• It's Not Personal!: A Guide to Anger Management by Alice J. Katz
• Managing Anger by Gael Lindenfield
• Overcoming Anger and Irritability by William Davies (Editor)
• Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh