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Supplied by J.D. John Duffy. Thanks John
ODE TO ROY KAMIS
This man has delusions of things that are great,
He's on about fame, but we know it's his weight.
He works out daily, amidst pants and puffs,
Then comes scran time, and its four effing duffs.
He's obsessed with
a film, it's called "Rocky Three"
"Biggest in the world" its his belly if you ask me.
Stripped down to his shorts, its a horrible sight,
Short, Fat and Hairy, and not very bright.
They preserve
things like that for future mankind,
They're kept in cages as an 'historical find'.
So if you meet "All wind and piss",
Have pity on him... ROCKY FOUR......KAMIS.
MORE DUNSBY'S DITS
CHOPS:
"E.P.O: What power supplies are the M.G's?"
E.P.O:.. "AC/DC"
CHOPS: "REALLY!!!!"
A MESSAGE FOR CURLY
May bleeding piles
torment you,
and corn's infest your feet.
May crabs as big as spiders,
Attack your balls for meat.
And now your old and weary,
And you feel like a wreck.
May you fall back through your arsehole,
And break your f*!@ing neck.
Love B.A.
JIM TAYLOR TO GONZO: "Now we're hot bunking, which end do you want?"
MEO TO CHIEF TIFF: "Have you mustered the AB's"
CHIEF TIFF: "Yes Sir, they're scrubbing out".
What do you get if you cross S/LT Maskell, Scaff Holding and big Smudge?...A MIXY BLOB!!!
Overheard in Manoeuvring Room:
L/STD: "RPO who's chair is that?"
RPO: "That's the D.S.R.V. Seat"
L/STD: "Is he the new DMEO?"
Dave Green
to Brum Lowbridge: "I'm qualified lower
level now"
Brum Lowbridge: "Well done"
Machinery Broadcast. "Lowest Level, Manoeuvring"
"Lowest Level"
"Send the Braby forward"
Dave Green: "I'm going forward now, I'll
take it with me"
MEO
to Tim Barry: "Go and see if you can sort
out the Braby"
Tim Barry to MEO: "OK.
Sir. Mack fetch us a chain block."
Overheard in Junior
Rates Bunk Space:
JONAH to HAZEL: "When I'm
Killick, I'll have your rack."
HAZEL: "Why wait?"
What's the difference between the Coxswain and the Chief Tiff?...........Lets not split hairs.
EVEN MORE DUNSBY'S DITS
When asked a question by MEO, Lt Harries replied "I know that one Sir, I just can't put my finger on it!"
What's the difference between the Jimmy and the MEO......About a penny's worth of maskers.
Is it true that GONZO got beat at chess last night because he couldn't get four in a row.
A big hand for Tim Byers who thought the after plant was in the hanging gardens.
L/STD to Diesel Killick: "Is that the Ballast Pump Well?"
Diesel Killick: "Yes Paddy why?"
L/STD: "Oh I just threw in 10p, and made a wish."
A big NO NO to Dave Green who thought the alternative method of starting the Diesel was to use jump leads from the port MG.
A POEM TO THE FOR'D PLUKES.
We are the Back Aft Scrubbers. We work rest and play,
We never get a Mars bar, not even a B.ZA.
We work from dawn till mid-day, scrubbing when we're told to do,
Because we are the Back Aft Stokers, Uncle Raymond told us too.
We sometimes do the maintenance, when the tiff's have gone to bed,
But then it's back to scrubbing, we'll never see our beds, not even little Ted.
So the message to all you forward plukes, who decide to come back aft,
Keep your hands and boots off, the places where we graft.
Just like the Coxswain forward, Raymond never would,
Because the same as forward, the bosses never could.
Love from 'Scotch Bright Harry' and 'Detergent Sam'
The Back Aft Scrubbers
Two back afties were having a pee. The first Back Aftie said
"I wish I was like my brother"
"Why is that" Said his friend.
"Well he can hold his with four fingers"
Second Back Aftie glances across: "Well your holding yours with four fingers".
"Yeah but I'm weeing on three of them."
OVERHEARD IN MAN ROOM DURING ONE HECTIC MORNING WATCH
SCAFF: "I don't think I should do a Unit Ticket Sir."
MEO: "That's no problem Petty Officer"
SCAFF: "But I've been a Chief for 3 years, and I think my record speaks for itself."
MEO: "Yes you're right Leading Hand."
SCAFF: "I think I should keep my mouth shut."
MEO: "You're learning.
AN ODE TO COXSWAIN HODDER
Your day's of youth
are ended, the torch of life is out,
What used to be your sex appeal, Is now your water spout.
Time when of it's own accord would from your trousers spring,
But now you have a full time job, to find the bloody thing.
It used to be embarrassing the way it would behave,
For nearly every morning it stood and watched you shave.
But as old age approaches it sure gives you the blues,
To see it hang it's withered head, and watch you clean your
shoes.
