Holiday Of A Lifetime, Guide To Peru, Machu Picchu, centenary of discovery. Huck Books.

Holiday Of A Lifetime ...
Never Again!
'Wish I'd written it. Can I wear it?' – Lady Gaga
'What a journey! It made my Journey seem ... well, hard to believe' – Tony Blair
'The best and funniest travel book since Bill Bryson at his peak' – Mrs Bryson
'The best and funniest book Frank has written, and he's yet to peak, believe me' – Mrs Rawlins
'Love those Conquistadors. Best mates with Chorizo. Try it!' – Jamie Oliver
'It made me want to go straight to Peru. I think I will' – Nobby Solarno
'I'd back it. If they come up with the right money' – Simon Cowell
'Frank Who?''– David Tennant

The travelogue to end all travelogues. Well ...
   Just 100 years ago, in the summer of 1911, Hiram Bingham III revealed to an amazed world the rediscovery of the Incas' 'lost' city of Machu Picchu.
   Now, in 2011, two sixtysomethings reveal how they followed in his footsteps. But it wasn't quite as simple as the American explorer made it sound ...
  They battle altitude sickness, heavy colds, and aching limbs – not to mention the asthma (not a great idea high in the Andes, surely?).
And they certainly hadn't reckoned on the merciless Bicester Bug. Or the strange gaggle of fellow tourists they found themselves with: from the cultured Bexley-Heaths to the Chavtown John Terry (a smaller, smoking version of Chelsea's central deflowerer), and the Roy Cropper oddball with a strange secret in his ever-present shopping bag.
   Would the Holiday Of A Lifetime turn into the Disaster Of A Lifetime?

Samantha and Samuel meet by strange chance at an airline desk, discover they also have the same surname, and soar off into turbulence beyond imagination.
   Incredible highs are followed by terrible lows thanks largely to the third Sam in a strange ménage à trois. Uncle Sam, that is.
   The English rose and the Irish charmer are foiled at every turn by Don Boyd II, heir to the American business that Samantha’s racing car company desperately needs on board. And when Don Junior looks to be beaten, there’s the fearsome Don Senior to face.
   Enter wily old Hyram, the American dotcom entrepreneur who’s determined to be a racer – at the age of 77. Even if it means hog-tying a star driver.
   Who will survive the terrifying crash that follows?

STRANGE BUT TRUE FOOTNOTE:
If you would like to help an impoverished author (and most of us are),
ordering via Createspace or Amazon.com earns the author a higher royalty than ordering through Amazon.co.uk. Just a
thought ...

Sam And Sam
'When they film this I want the title role. Either of them' – Samuel L Jackson
'Phew - it's tailor-made for me. Shame I'm in that other thing. And fictional, really' – Samantha Jones from Sex And The City
'Could have been written about me and Dave ... except his name isn't Sam' – Samantha Cameron
'Shame it wasn't titled Harry And Potter' – anonymous bank manager