Mouse with the wagging TaleVery Short Tales

These very short tales amuse me because they make wry comments on our Society and its "Progress". They are all about interaction between the generations and they indicate not so much the wisdom of the young but the foolish preoccupations of the adult.  When I began to think of them, they seemed to fall neatly into decades and, in fact, seem to typify each decade. They are all true stories because you simply cannot make them up. They are edited of course and names have been changed to protect the "innocent".

(No Child or animal was involved or harmed in the preparation of this page!!)
Unfortunate Forties
A harassed deputy headmistress was interviewing a witness about an unfortunate misuse of the Air Raid Shelter. After stumbling through the necessary advocacy of telling the truth despite possible painful consequences, she asked the big question: Did she take off all her clothes. No Miss, of course not Miss, responded the quivering but innocent looking lad in front of her. The deputy  felt a sudden relief of tension, but not for long, for he continued: She kept her shoes and socks on.

Grace in the Fifties
The large family, extended by visiting aunts and uncles, were gathered around the table for Sunday tea. Little Lucy waited to catch her mother's attention to ask if she might "get down". Yes dear, but say grace first, her mother inserted into the conversation she was having with the grownups. Lucy dutifully recited Thank you God for a lovely dinner and hurried off unnoticed. She was noticed a few minutes later when her return to her chair brought an apprehensive frown to her Mother's Sunday face. Lucy put her hands together again and said:   Sorry God, Tea.


A Story from a Sixties Child Care Paperback
I cannot now find it, so apologies to the author.

A rather pompous father who had left the rearing of his beloved little girl to his wife, had instructed her early bedtime and was giving a dinner party for his male business friends. During the soup course the door flew open, and there stood his daughter who, mustering all the dignity available only  to a naked little girl of three, declaimed accusingly as follows:

One of you left the lid up and I fell in!

A Question from the Seventies

Driving back from a tiring  day out with a van full of juniors, his friends in the back were all asleep, but he was sitting beside me obviously thinking deeply. Out of the blue he asked: Did I grow as a seed in  my mummy's tummy?

Yes dear I replied hopefully. But he went on to the big question anyway and I had to resort to: I think you should ask your Dad about that. He paused and replied thoughtfully:
 
I suppose he would know wouldn't he..

A Puzzle from the Eighties

He was being taken to Play School by a 60+ family friend. As each car passed he spoke  animatedly, and with all the authority of a four year old, about the makes and models. She tried to keep up by observing the car badges. But he eventually realised, stood stock still and in a heavy voice pronounced:   You don't really know about cars do you? I'm afraid I don't she said. He  considered this unexpected situation for a moment and then brightened :  Of course you haven't got a car have you.

A Question of the Nineties.

Two juniors were in earnest conversation; Said one: I found a condom on Peter's patio. The other looked puzzled and said:
 I realise I should know, but what is a Patio?


2000 Plus

Mrs A. was looking after  four year Daniel from next door as well as her own three year old daughter.  Having spread all the downstairs toys all over the floor, the children went upstairs and made, for a while, quite a noise. When things went quiet, Mrs A. thought she had better see what they were up to. But, before she could, they  came back downstairs. Said Daniel:

If you see anything when you go upstairs............. it wasn't us!

 "Anything" was in fact a  frightful mess on Mrs A's dressing table with every bottle and jar opened..


Return to Treasure Contents (Stories)