These very short tales amuse me because they
make wry comments on our Society and its "Progress". They are all
about interaction between the generations and they indicate not so much
the wisdom of the young but the foolish preoccupations of the adult.
When I began to think of them, they seemed to fall neatly into decades
and, in fact, seem to typify each decade. They are all true stories because
you simply cannot make them up. They are edited of course and names have
been changed to protect the "innocent".
(No Child or animal was involved or harmed
in the preparation of this page!!)
A harassed deputy headmistress was interviewing
a witness about an unfortunate misuse of the Air Raid Shelter. After stumbling
through the necessary advocacy of telling the truth despite possible
painful consequences, she asked the big question: Did she take off all
her clothes. No Miss, of course not Miss, responded the quivering but
innocent looking lad in front of her. The deputy felt a sudden relief
of tension, but not for long, for he continued: She
kept her shoes and socks on.
Grace in the Fifties
The large family, extended by visiting aunts
and uncles, were gathered around the table for Sunday tea. Little Lucy
waited to catch her mother's attention to ask if she might "get down".
dear, but say grace first, her mother inserted into the conversation
she was having with the grownups. Lucy dutifully recited Thank you God
for a lovely dinner and hurried off unnoticed. She was noticed
a few minutes later when her return to her chair brought an apprehensive
frown to her Mother's Sunday face. Lucy put her hands together again and
said: Sorry God, Tea.
A Story from a Sixties Child
I cannot now find it, so apologies to the author.
A rather pompous father who had left the rearing
of his beloved little girl to his wife, had instructed her early bedtime
and was giving a dinner party for his male business friends. During the
soup course the door flew open, and there stood his daughter who, mustering
all the dignity available only to a naked little girl of three, declaimed
accusingly as follows:
One of you left the lid up and I fell
A Question from the Seventies
Driving back from a tiring day out with a van
full of juniors, his friends in the back were all asleep, but he was sitting
beside me obviously thinking deeply. Out of the blue he asked: Did I
grow as a seed in my mummy's tummy?
Yes dear I replied hopefully. But he went
to the big question anyway and I had to resort to:
I think you should ask your Dad about that.
paused and replied thoughtfully:I suppose he would know wouldn't he..
A Puzzle from the Eighties
He was being taken to Play School by a 60+ family
friend. As each car passed he spoke animatedly, and with all the
authority of a four year old, about the makes and models. She tried to
keep up by observing the car badges. But he eventually realised, stood
stock still and in a heavy voice pronounced: You don't really
know about cars do you? I'm afraid I don't she said. He
considered this unexpected situation for a moment and then brightened :
Of course you haven't got a car have you.
A Question of the Nineties.
Two juniors were in earnest conversation; Said one:
found a condom on Peter's patio. The other looked puzzled and said:
I realise I should know, but what is a Patio?
Mrs A. was looking after four year Daniel
from next door as well as her own three year old daughter. Having
spread all the downstairs toys all over the floor, the children went upstairs
and made, for a while, quite a noise. When things went quiet, Mrs A. thought
she had better see what they were up to. But, before she could, they
came back downstairs. Said Daniel:
If you see anything when you go upstairs............. it
"Anything" was in fact a frightful mess on
Mrs A's dressing table with every bottle and jar opened..
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