Detention Room

 

This page is dedicated to all of those people who irritate the life out of us :
Cher - As glamourous as ever

Cher - Isn't it time that she just packed it in, instead of growing old disgracefully ?

Punishment - Compulsory Retirement

The equally glamourous untalented ex - wife of Ike Turner

Tina Turner - A Sexual Offence on legs. The human emetic.

Punishment - Compulsory Retirement

 
Vera Looking Mad

Dame Vera Lynn - Yet another faded singer, whose career was resurrected by a war. Just think - if we have another war, we could still be being plagued by a Dame Scary Spice in 50 years time.

Punishment - Just retire and stay retired. Leave us in Peace.

 
An extremely tedious logo

Radio Mercury - One of those terrible local radio stations that have cropped up all over Britain. They only seem to own about ten records, none of which are new or are yet to reach the charts, and they are far more interested in their profits than in music.

Punishment - Immediate revocation of their licence.

 
Steve playing with himself

Steve Wright - The only person who refers to his own radio show as the "BIG" Show. Steve, it's not BIG and it's not clever. He expects his co-hosts to laugh at everything he says. And, of course, he is too BIG and important to even tell us the title and artist of the records that he plays. Oh, and he spoils TOTP2 as well, by prattling on inanely. 

Punishment - Just give his Radio 2 slot to someone interesting. 
Jackson as he should look

Michael Jackson - What's going on there then? He is whiter than I am these days, and what has happened to his nose ?

Punishment - His nose to suddenly fall off, on live worldwide TV.

SMUG GIT !!!

Mark Saggers - The former Sky News Sports Reporter who now seems to have turned up on Radio Five Live. A man who always has an (extreme) opinion on sports news stories. Personally, I prefer unbiased news reporting, not bigoted instant (over) reactions.

Punishment - I don't suppose that dismissal is too much to ask. (Perhaps that is why he is no longer with Sky)

 

 

And a few groups of people who irritate us 
Paper Boys - In particular, those who are too weak, feeble or lazy to put the paper through the letter box. Nothing is more annoying when trying to deliver mail, than to find that there is a paper still in the letter box. I did the job (properly) when I was younger, so I know that it is not a difficult job that (overpaid) paper boys do, so they have no excuse.

Punishment - Any papers found in boxes will find their way onto the doorstep
Farmers - OK, controversial one this one. (Words by Kate) -  Farmers - so you can't survive anymore? Ahhhhh, quit buying £40,000 Range Rovers then.

Business failing? Get a real job then. 

Don't want to pay fuel tax, despite getting cheap fuel anyway? Move to the city then. Oh, but I  bet you still want government subsidies and your kids educated and an NHS? well, these things have to be paid for, stupid. Everyone pays taxes, but we don't all get given free money to do bugger all, from the government do we?

Punishment - Wake up  to the real world.
Taxi Drivers - They are supposed to be Professional Drivers, aren't they? So why do they show such little consideration to other road users? Why do they think that the Road Traffic laws only apply to other people? Why do they purport to know everything about everything?

Punishment - A weekly Driving Test
People With Awkward Letterboxes - As we work for the Post Office, we are particularly conscious of awkward boxes, namely those that fit into one of the following three categories -

A) Vertical boxes, usually fitted with industrial strength springs that don't want to open when pushed. Then people wonder why their letters get creased.

B) Small letter boxes. Oh, they are so quaint and Victorian aren't they? Well they may have been splendid in Victorian times, when people sent each other teeny little letters, but these days people tend to send whole reams of paper to each other. These boxes seem to be owned by people who insist on ordering subscription copies of large magazines. Then they wonder why their magazines get folded in two. Surely every town has a Newsagent ?

C) Ankle height boxes. Oh, it is such fun, having to squat down at someone's door, put the mail through and then stand up again, all with a full bag of mail on your back. (Please Note - the installation of such boxes is illegal in many countries, due to the number of Postmen getting back problems. It is only a matter of time before they are outlawed in the UK)

Punishment - Fitting of a sensible Letter Box when they are not looking. No matter what their front door looks like afterwards. 

There will of course be more, when we can think of some.If you feel that you want to disagree with any of the above - please let us know.
Link Back To "School"
And Now - People Who Have Served Their Time And Finally Left The Detention Room ...

"I'll have you, I will"

Dennis Wise - The former Chelsea Footballer, who seemed to have retired, but has reappeared as the manager of Millwall. Where he is - no doubt - busy irritating a whole new group of people.