LATEX RUBBER CONDOMS
Latex condoms are important for birth control and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases. They come in three sizes: small, medium and wishful thinking. Actually they vary in size from 2 to 3 cm in width and 10 to 16 cm in length.
Condoms that are lubricated and have a reservoir end are less likely to break. Those that contain a spermicide may provide increased protection from pregnancy and disease.
Many women know all about condoms and have just one question, "How do I get the guy to use one?"
The best way to get a guy to use a condom is to arrange for him to try to talk you into it! It's easier than you might think. You just have to plan carefully. When you first start going out with a guy, you need a clear intention: No condom=no sex. Don't tell the guy; let him discover it slowly. The first time he suggests having sex, or puts his hand in an intimate place, or starts undressing you or whatever, gently explain to him that you're not interested in sex. If he doesn't get the message leave the area and the relationship. If he's really interested in you and worth anything at all, he will respect your wishes, at least for a little while. The next time sex comes up, repeat your lack of interest. Don't offer an explanation until he asks for one. Then explain your reasons in an orderly fashion, usually over several different dates. Your reasons for not wanting to have sex are, in order: (1) It's too early in the relationship, (2) You need to feel safe with him which means a commitment to monogamy, (3) You don't want to get pregnant and you're worried about diseases.
Each time you decline sex you stop with the shortest, simplest explanation. Don't help him solve his problem. He will do just fine by himself. Be patient! Sooner or later he'll probably suggest that you start taking birth control pills or something. Tell him you don't want to for personal reasons that you don't discuss further.
Finally, in desperation, he'll suggest condoms. Laugh in his face! You may need to practice this in advance with a friend. When you stop laughing apologize and explain that you couldn't help yourself. You know he wasn't really serious. When he protests that he meant what he said, you have a choice. You can make him wait longer while you think about it. If you're about to explode because you want to have sex with him so much you can challenge him, "You show me the condoms first, then we'll talk some more."
In spite of your scepticism, this will work every time. It only appears to fail when the guy just wanted to use you for sex. You didn't want him anyhow.
There are big dividends when you use this strategy. It establishes the power dynamics of the relationship, that your opinions and wishes count. It forces him to communicate on an intimate level It gives him the opportunity to respect you as a woman of her word who's in control of her body.
Advantages:
- 1. Safe and effective in preventing pregnancy.
- 2. Safe and effective in preventing sexually transmitted diseases.
- 3. Men usually reach orgasm slower which can mean more fun for both.
- 4. They are widely available and relatively inexpensive about $1 each.
Disadvantages:
- 1. They may interrupt sex. You can make putting one on your boyfriend a part of foreplay.
- 2. They can break. Use special water based lubrication like Astroglide or KY Jelly to minimize this potential problem. The lubricants often make it feel better for both man and woman. Don't use oil based lubricants like Vaseline or baby oil.
- 3. They can leak. Be careful not to tear the condom with finger nails, a ring or dental braces.
- 4. They can slip off. As soon as the man ejaculates one of you should hold the condom to the base of the penis as he withdraws from the vagina. If you hesitate the condom can easily slip off as his erection decreases.
- 5. If you have sex frequently the cost can be significant.
- 6. A man or woman might be allergic to latex rubber, but this is rare.
Condoms come with complete directions for use. Read them carefully! It's usually better for the women to be the one putting the condom on. That way she can make sure it's used and used right. Most guys enjoy letting the women take charge in this way.
The man should always buy the condoms. That's the rule. Here are some exceptions:
1. If your boyfriend has been buying the condoms you might give him some as a gift. They come in many different colours so you can make it fun!
2. Any woman can buy condoms for any other woman perceived as needing them. This can be a test of true friendship (like stealing the keys of a potential drunk driver). If you think your girlfriend should be using condoms to prevent pregnancy or STD talk to her about it. When in doubt buy them for her. Gift wrap them! She can introduce their use by saying, "I have two presents for you." The second present is the opportunity to have her put it on him.