CRISIS RESPONSE (LEVEL TWO)

This is a mental exercise in which you reconsider the various mental and emotional states. It is different from the previous exercise in two ways. First, you look at the states in five groups. Second, in your mind you accept all the thoughts and emotions.

• CONFUSION
  • Shock
  • Denial
  • Indifference
  • Helplessness

  For each state either admit that you feel or have felt that way or that it would be acceptable if you did. For the first state you might accept any of the following thoughts:

  • I'm in a state of confusion. That's O.K. (present)
  • I was in a state of confusion. That's O.K. (past)
  • It's O.K. if I get into a state of confusion. (future)
  • I'm confused. That's O.K.
  • I was confused. That's O.K.
  • It's O.K. if I get confused.

  For the other states you might accept thoughts like these: I was so shocked. I was speechless. This isn't going to happen. I'm going to beat this cancer. Live or die, who cares. There's just nothing I can say or do that makes any difference.

  The key is to accept each mental or emotional state whether you feel it or not. This enables you to move beyond any state. Don't spend a lot of time trying to figure out whether or not you're confused. Just accept that you might be (or have been or will be) confused. Then move on.

  Repeat the process with the other four groups following the above pattern.

• FEAR
  • Anxiety
  • Rapidly changing emotions
  • Weakness
  • Plea bargaining

  Work through these states in the same fashion as before (I'm afraid and/or I was afraid. That's O.K. I might be afraid. That would be O.K., etc.). Plea bargaining refers to deal making like "I'm going to start taking lots of vitamins which will cure the cancer." or "Starting this Sunday I'm going to go to church every week. God will remove the cancer" or "Once I remove stress from my life the cancer will be removed too." There are many similar thoughts all hoping that some action will produce a desired result. Accept all of these types of ideas. They're either useful or harmless. Denying or resisting any state creates more mental conflict and stress. This is not good since stress depresses your immune system which is your most important ally.

• DEPRESSION
  • Withdrawal
  • Guilt
  • Remorse
  • Loneliness
  • Failure
  • Grief

  Do the exercise for each of these states.

  Withdrawal means pulling away from people. This is a natural tendency. Usually a crisis is better managed by bringing people closer.

  Guilt is a common emotion in a state of crisis. Sometimes it doesn't appear to make any sense. That doesn't make any difference. Accept that you feel guilty or have felt guilty or might feel guilty in the future. This will be easy if you've smoked two packs per day for thirty years and then developed lung cancer. The feeling of guilt may not seem to be appropriate if the cause of your crisis is clearly beyond your control. Nevertheless you must accept the possibility of this emotion. There is no good, bad, right or wrong. Avoid the temptation to judge what you are thinking or how you are feeling.

• ANGER
  • Irritability
  • Frustration
  • Powerlessness

  Even though anger is not usually an acceptable emotion, it is normal for it to come up in a crisis situation. It is a sign of mental and emotional health to feel anger when there is a good reason to be angry.

  The key to this level is to be able to accept all the mental and emotional states equally. Until you do this, you are stuck; progress is impossible. Accepting means simply allowing the state to be present; it does not mean that you have to like it, agree with it or understand it; just let it be as it is. Any state that you resist becomes energized by that resistance and persists even more strongly. Take you time doing this exercise. Move on to the next level when you feel this one is mostly complete.

• EMPOWERMENT
  • Understanding
  • Acceptance

  Once you have dealt with the previous four groups it will be easier to spend time in these positive states. Understanding is simply believing the facts of the situation. Acceptance is allowing things to be as they are. Once you can be comfortable in understanding and acceptance you automatically move into empowerment. This is the area where the crisis energizes you in a positive way. It gives you the strength and motivation to make a bigger difference in other people's lives. Instead of wasting time feeling sorry for yourself, you reach out to others in need. As you heal their problems you begin to heal your own. After you complete this exercise you may move on the Level Three.

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  HOMEPAGE