SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
Sexual intercourse means the penis of the man being in the vagina of the woman and moving in and out. It is easy to do if the penis is firm and the vagina is well lubricated.
It's usually easy to find a partner with an erection. Most men have more than they need. Women who are sexually aroused usually have plenty of lubrication. Additional lubrication should usually be added at least in the beginning.
The easiest way is for the woman to guide the penis into the right place. The vagina is the middle of the three openings in that part of a woman's body. The top one is the urethra where urine comes out. The bottom one is the anus, the end of the intestinal tract.
On the sides of the opening of the vagina are the labia majora and labia minor, or the large and small lips. The labia vary greatly in size, shape and color. Sometimes the left and right sides don't match, just like one breast may be larger that the other. The labia are sensitive structures. The most sensitive area is the clitoris which is at the top of the small lips where they come together above the urethra. Use a hand mirror to see the structures just discussed or ask your gynecologist to point out the anatomy. You have to know where everything is located before you can assist your partner.
The opening of the vagina is surrounded by a thin ring of tissue called the hymen or the hymenal ring. This tissue can tear during the first episode of intercourse causing bleeding or pain. It's much better to gradually stretch it beforehand.
Going from kissing to intercourse is like going from crawling to aerobics. Some intermediate steps are necessary to get prepared physically, mentally and emotionally. The physical steps are called petting, which is erotic touching. This is powerful stuff and loss of control can easily occur, so it's important to set up guidelines. One agreement might be no petting below the waist until the issue of birth control has been handled.
Petting should be a gradual process, a learning experience for both partners. It is a good time to practice communication, patience and gentleness. Find out what you like and what he likes. Many men aren't gentle enough so you have to tell him how softly you want to be touched or kissed. You can always request it to be harder. Begin with the suggestion that he is to touch you like he would a very delicate flower, gently and slowly. On the other hand, women are often too gentle for most men; a man will be happy to show you exactly what to do. The difference between men and women in the are of touch is an example of an important truth: Men and women are very different! If you don't realize this, there is a lot of opportunity for confusion. Once you discover the differences, you can enjoy them.
Petting includes the man inserting one well-lubricated finger into the women's vagina. Make sure his hands are clean and his fingernails short and smooth. Exactly how he touches you is a trial and error process. Give feedback! Be specific! (Softer, harder, faster, slower, up, down, left, right...) Then he'll touch you just the way you want to be touched. Gradually two fingers may be inserted. Once the woman is comfortable with this she can probably accommodate his penis. Going slowly stretches the hymen so that the first episode of intercourse can be painless and bloodless.
Natural vaginal lubrication and saliva are satisfactory but special products are much better. In the beginning use additional lubrication. This will make it better for both of you.