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Dirty Little Shithouse

Recitation or Monologue

One of the Old Naval Traditions, was to tell ditties or comical yarns in the form of monologue. Certain sailors would specialise in them, for performance in the large Fleet canteens or Sods Opera.

Often these dialogues wereof a bawdy nature.

There's a dirty little shithouse, to the north of Waterloo,
And another for the ladies further down.
They were run by Sally Tucker, for a shilling you could fuck her,
And sleep with her for half a crown.

She was called Sally Tucker by the men who used to fuck her,
But her real name was Tuloola Johnson Black.,
And when it came to screwing, she knew what she was doing,
And earned a pretty penny on her back.

By the colour of her britches, She was the dirtiest of bitches,
For she never seemed to give the buggers a wash.
But the smell from her vagina was more infinitly finer,
Than any rum or gin or orange squash.

One day she had a ride, with a sailor from the Clyde,
And she wondered why he held her very close,
But when he finished screwing, she knew what he'd been doing,
For he'd left her with a good and proper dose.

She gave it to her father, who gave it to her mother,
Who gave it to the Reverend John Brown.
Who gave it to a cousin, who gave it to a dozen,
And now its half way round the town.

Now thers a sailor up in Glasgee, thats squeezing reall badly,
You can easily say his cocks got a real bad case of pox.
And you can pick it, You can scratch it, but if you ere can detach it,
Tou're better man than I am, Gunga Din.