FRAGMENTS & WANTED

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Readers often write in with queries we cannot answer with authority or other examples or references - Can any reader help to complete these items or add  anything to them. Particularly their tunes.

Does anybody remember doing or participating with
The PT Instructors or GIs Dances -.........
Or
The Chelsea Pensioner Dance - Please Click on button

	HELP US  Complete the following Fragments With Words and Tunes	LINK
	Wanted - Any One Liners or short rhymes - Particularly those sung to Bugle Calls see Page in Text
	To collect dit's sung in parody or instead of Hymnns at Church Services -
	LYRICS & TUNES NEEDED - PLEASE HELP
Q1	I am an ex-RAN One Christmas, between 1957 & 1964 John Magor worked Retard leave, but it was customery in the RANavy for thoseon board to entertain each other. Victualled on that occasion in the CPO's and PO's mess. The entertainment party performed a very raucous, rude and disgusting play called "Blue Light and the Seven Dwarfs". It was so popular that it was repeated several times thereafter to the full ship's company, including the Wardroom. Sadly John has lost his copy of the script, Can anybody help fill in the basic story or loan him a copy of the script. All the parts were obviously, played by males. Just like in Shakespeare's day.
Q2	SWILLY GIRLS The enquiry here is to complete the words and Tune of a sung sung during the Gulf War Tits first, fanny later, I ain't no matelot slag, Don't you be making me pregnant I go to work in the morning. Said to have been written by a Pompey rating about a 'Swilly Girl' In Naval Language a 'Swilly Girl' is tantamount to a slag, Or what in the olden days would be called a 'Fireship' - 'She had a dark an rolling eye, her hair hung up in ring-a-lets, a flash girl, one of the rakish kind!' The term takes its rise from a Post War house building programme in Plymouth. Where land near the Devonport dockyard was taken up for re-development. But was severely under-funded and few facilities for the younger ones installed. The area known as Swilly quickly became the place where you didn't want to live, and the estate became the residence of economicly challanged families, characterised by burnt out cars, prostitution and violence. Renamed the North Prospect, it never shook off the title of Swilly and being close to the dockyard, its boozers were a magnet to Young Jack's with a bit of money to burn! on an up harbour night, way back in the 60's and early 70's The following, is  probably un-related to the above item and could sarcely be called a traditinal Navy song, but it was collected from a sod's opera sketch, where the character 'female' and her pimp 'male' outlined the 'benifits' of a 'Swilly Girl'. Ending up on the repeat with a waltz.. In today's Navy, this Term is applied to any girl "who no only liketh her sailors' bit is also free and easy" irrespective of which Naval or Sea faring Port she lives in Pompey, Devonport, Glasgee etc.. Tune: Too ra Loora Loora as sung by Bing Crosby Want to live in Swilly, you must be f***g bent; To live in council housing and never pay the rent. A place so full of scrubbers, so full of w**kers too, But when it come to fighting, we will piss all over you! So come you up to Swilly, we aint so F 'ing bad, Our girls are very special, with (So laddie if you needs it, from) knickers that aint ironclad, Their skirts are shorter than mini's, their knockers will titalise(vitalise) you, Their amourous aims, lead to maternity claims, its a Swilly girl for you: - or two - - or three ---, or four! - Do you  repeat from top ( ) = An alternate phrase	20111207
Q
F1	The PQ 17 Song Can Any body supply the rest of the ditty please The first line 'convoy to scatter' was the standard signal, given by the convoty commodore, when the escorts had to leave their charges, to deal with a major emergency situation, such as a raider. In this case it came in the form of the Tirpitz. Tune: Onward Christian Soldiers Convoy is to scatter, in fear we heard the shout, Convoy is to scatter, the Tirpitz she is about.
F2	This Fragment is remembered from HMS Wizard in 1949 - Where the crew was playing cards. The losing teams forfeit was to sing a song - One of the songs then sung, was about Scapa Flow in the pre-war years and the ships that would be seen there. There is a similarity in these words to the favorite Shes a Tiddly Ship - the lines ending 'This four funnel bastatrd is getting me down' but in this instance it is thought to be different. Tune - Possibly On top of Old Smokey or similar In the text I have changed the first line from the original shown in brackets so as to work with the tune.. There were ships like the Rodney, The Hood and Renown, (There were ships like the Nelson, Rodney, Repulse and Renown,) But we always remember the ones that went down.
F3	The following item, may simply be a one-liner or short dit. If so can any body please tell us which Also - Who was John Dory's navy? - We know that Fred Karno's navy, represented the chaps in the RN Patrol Service based at Lowestoft, but is this the same ot different = Please Help We are John Dory's Navy, we never go to sea, We cannot fight, we cannot fuck, no bloody use are we! But when we get to Malta, the C in C will say," Mein Gott, Mein Gott, what a fucking fine lot are the boys of the MTB's"
F4	This fragment which was sung in the RN in the 1920's, but desperately needs a tune, all suggerstions appreciated. It could also be the whole song, but my gut feeling is that it s a partial item, with a few key lines gone astray. If anyone recall or remembers hearing it - even in part, I would appreciate the contact Jem Mace was a famous boxer in Victorian times who last appeared in the ring in 1909 She can dance and sing, she can do the highland fling, Fought Jem Mace and spoiled his face in a two foot six inch ring. She had a big glass eye and when she laughs she makes you cry As the juice runs down from her snotty nose, like jam from a rhubarb pie. Oh she dresses like a lady, and her cloths are made of silk, But when her snotter runs its like a stinking whelk. Oh I tell you she was mad Got a face like a four shilling crab, And India - Rubber lips like the rudders of a ship. Yes I tell you she was mad
F5	At ten to twelve each forenoon, Since the Navy first began, Jack drinks the health of Nelson From Jutland to Japan.
F6	For breakfast they gave us a raft, With a chicken perched proud on the top, In a sea of train smash, it sailed this fine craft, Oh why can't they give me a draft.
F7	Help needed by Charles Giles with this song, used as the shells are transported from magazine to deck Also Needed are any of the sods operas dits 'The GI's Weddng - The GI's Church Parade Script for Pickle Night Tune - Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly Load the Hoist with AA Practice; Tra la la, la, la la la.
F8	T’was, on Falmouth sea shore, And, Mary lay a-sleeping, That, in lust and in love, Our, Jaunty went a-creeping.
F9	They walk round the dockyard, They roar and they shout. They shout about things, They know nothing about.
F10	Lend us a quid, do us a sub, Give us a rub of your burberry
F 11	The following is possibly pre war and part of a longer dit Help needed please. Seaman Gunner do not weep, It was not me that shagged your sheep, It was that Stoker down below, The dirty rotten so and so Alternate line from Val Ashpool It was a Stoker 2nd Class that shagged that wooley bastards arse
F12	Maybe this item is a bit of a longshot, but would appreciate some help. It was sung in Ww2 Ensign Sidney List USN aboard the USS LST 452 The man who took a ship(shit) for himself I'm the man who can, can you (canoe).
F13	Angels of Queen Street All dressed in white
F14	Funny Little Fellow, wears his sisters clothes. Don't know what they call hiim, But I think he's one of those See - Gibraltar National Anthem - on the 'Song Pages'
F15	Help also needed - to get a rope round this one. Does anybody know the full Naval Version of the Furrey Dance. Tune - Cornish Floral Dance All the Chiefs and the Wrens were dancing, Jack was getting a feed of chuff.
F16	There is a man on our lower deck, He is called Jaunty Cross. If I had my will of him I’d throw him overboard.
F17	Tune - Fly me to the moon Fly me to Neeson let me play anmongst the bars in and out the Starlight...
F18	Unrelated fragment to F17. Tune: Everyones gone to the moon Cans full of teepol, never foam, Long handed scrubbers stand alone Everyone's gone to Neesoon
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