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- A Blatantly Stereotypical Guide to
Student Life in Bangor MARINE BIOLOGISTS, OCEANOGRAPHERS, ETC. Quite a common type in Bangor. Easily identifiable due to their frequent wearing of wetsuits. Habits - moan about practicals the whole time, whatever they are, and complain that arts students never do any work.
ENGLISH STUDENTS AND HISTORIANS. These arty types can quite often be found hanging around top college. Generally seen to be wearing Bohemian clothes, e.g. C&A anorak. Often accused of having it easy - however, there is nothing easy, as any arts student will tell you, about having to read Milton's entire works the night before a tutorial, especially after having consumed six pints of Arkell's Kingsdown.
ENGINEERS Easily identifiable as they have more body hair than anyone else. Clothing - shell suit compulsory. Habits - drinking eighteen pints of lager at the Harp, then going home and watching "Terminator 2", or kicking in a friend's door at Reichel. In both cases, the word "f**k" will be used loudly in conversation.
THEOLOGIANS. "Divvers" students can be recognised by their receding hair lines (men and women) and drip-dry nylon shirts. Generally to be seen in "Fat Freddy's" heatedly discussing amendments to the Book of Common Prayer. Not to be confused with Evangelical types, as they think that the Book of Common Prayer is a work of Papal devilry.
AGRICULTURE, FORESTRY, EARTH SCIENCE STUDENTS, ETC. Given away at once by their donkey jackets, check shirts, and welly boots (therefore not to be mistaken as locals.) They will claim that they wear these clothes for purely practical purposes, but the truth is they think they look rather trendy. Habits - unknown, but they seem to spend most of their time in Snowdonia, examining soil around villages with unpronouncable names.
SOCIAL POLICY, PSYCHOLOGY, SOCIOLOGY STUDENTS. A dead giveaway in their German army surplus jackets, which they wear in order to assert their individuality. Round "John Lennon" glasses are optional, hair is either long or greasy, or cropped short. Habits - hanging around the periodicals section of the library reading "The effects of 25 years of class oppression in urban Finland".
THE MATURE STUDENT. Subject - generally the above. However, this category requires special mention. Men generally sport a "Bobby Charlton" comb-over type hairstyle. To be found speaking loudly in Main Arts Coffee Shop, or the front row of lectures. When challenged over the fact that they do more work than anyone else, they will reply "So would you if you'd spent 40 years working as a lavatory attendant hoping to get to University".
THE CRUSTY/HIPPY. . To be found in Jock's Bar, especially on a Wednesday night, carrying a packet of Rizlas and a battered tin of "Old Dungheap Rolling Mixture", or worse. Quite often reminiscing about the summer of '67, despite the fact thet they weren't even born until 1972. Clothing - unidentifiable due to its advanced state of dirt and disrepair. Subject - either they can't remember, or they haven't actually registered in the first place.
LANGUAGE STUDENTS. Nearly always "Eurocrats" who spend most of their time abroad, when they return, droning on about how European unity will promote peace, harmony, and increase sales of sausages and garlic. Clothing - beret and stripey jumper, lederhosen, etc.
MATHS AND COMPUTER STUDIES STUDENTS. Clothing - anorak with lots of pockets for calculator, floppy discs, psion organiser, etc. Often suffer from tunnel vision due to an inability to see beyond the rims of their glasses and the rims of their computer screens. Habits include making daft sculptures with names like "Eternity".
THE SARCASTIC STUDENT. Generally to be found writing stupid articles taking the piss out of other people. Smug and immensely ignorant, though not all that bad looking, I must admit. ES |
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