I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to
> arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
> 
> Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire 
> in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your 
> kayak and heat it.
> 
> Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and became
> a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never
> amounted
> to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two
> weevils.
> 
> A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up 
> to the bar and announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
>  
> Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain
> during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
> 
> Getting worse...
> 
> A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
> the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
> hour,  the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But
> why?"
> they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess 
> nuts boasting in an open foyer."
> 
> There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in 
> ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
> Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
>  
> 
> Big finale.....
> 
> A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
> a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in
> Spain,  they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself
> to
> his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished
> she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins.
> If  you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
>