> A man walks into a bar - he sits down and orders a drink. The bar man
> gives
> him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts.  To his surprise, a voice
> comes
> from the peanut bowl. "You look great tonight!" it said, "You really look
> fantastic.... and that aftershave is just wonderful!" The man is obviously
> a
> little confused, but tries to ignore it. Realising he has no cigarettes he
> wanders over to the cigarettte machine. After inserting his money, a
> different voice emits from the fag machine.
> "You IDIOT ...Oh my god you WASTE OF SPACE..........Do you know you're
> almost as UGLY as your DOG." By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He
> turns to the
> barman for an explanation. "Ah yes sir," the barman responds, "The peanuts
> are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."
> 
> --