>Subject: 12 Politically Correct Days of Christmas
>
>
>On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
>Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave
to >me: 
> >TWELVE >males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual
drumming, 
> >ELEVEN >pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra
made up of members in >good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as
called for in their union >contract even though they will not be asked
to play a note), 
> >TEN >melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions
of the patriarchal ruling >class system leaping, 
> >NINE >persons
engaged in rhythmic self-expression, 
> >EIGHT >economically
disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from >enslaved
Bovine-Americans, 
> >SEVEN >endangered swans swimming on federally
protected wetlands, 
> >SIX >enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen
non-human animal products, 
> >FIVE >golden symbols of culturally
sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, > >NOTE: after members of
the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw >red paint at my
computer, >the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been
reintroduced to >their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American
enslavement, the >remaining gift package has been revised.) 
> >FOUR
>hours of recorded whale songs 
> >THREE >deconstructionist poets 
> >TWO
>Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses >
>and... 
> >ONE >Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree. >

>Merry Christmas Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed Yule. Oh, heck!
>Happy Holidays!!!! (unless otherwise prohibited by law) * > >*Unless,
of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder >(SAD).
If  this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for
>celebration  with suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.