> A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father, for I have
> sinned." 
> "What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back. 
> "Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I
> feel absolutely terrible." 
> "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest. 
> "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it
> was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that was
> hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after
> going only about 100 yards."
> 
> "Is that when you swore?" 
> "No, Father," says the man. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the
> bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
> 
> "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. 
> "Well, no." says the man. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an
> eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his tail and
> began to fly away!
> 
> "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed Priest. 
> "No, not yet," the man replies. "As the eagle carried the squirrel
> away in his claws, it flew over a bit of forest near the green and the
> squirrel dropped my ball."
> 
> "Did you swear THEN?" asked the impatient Priest. 
> "No, because as the ball fell, it struck a tree, bounced through some
> bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto
> the green and stopped within six inches of the hole."
> 
> Silence filled the confessional until the Priest sighed and said, "You
> missed the f***ing putt, didn't you?!!!!!!"