> >Dear Tech Support:
> >
> >Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed
> >that the new program began making unexpected changes to the
> >accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and
> >jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
> >No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
> >
> >In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such
> >as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs
> >new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball
> >5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer
> >runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will
> >it run DiaperChanging 14.or HouseCleaning 2.6.  I've tried running
> >Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of
> >only limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!
> >
> >Sincerely, XXX
> >
> >
> >
> >Dear XXX:
> >
> >This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly
> >due to a primary misconception.  Many people upgrade from Boyfriend
> >5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an
> >ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING
> >SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as
> >possible.
> >
> >Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0,
> >because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating
> >files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband
> >1.0, so nothing is gained.
> >
> >It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files
> >from the system, once installed.  Any new program files can only be
> >installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory.
> >Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.
> >
> >In desperation to play some of  their "old time" favorite
> >applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have
> >tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women
> >end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.
> >
> >Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will
> >notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with
> >HeartBreak 1.3.  I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the
> >quirks of this strange and illogical system.
> >
> >Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read
> >the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs].  This
> >is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the
> >parent company as an integral part of the operating system.
> >
> >Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and
> >problems, regardless of root cause.  To activate this great feature
> >enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME".
> >
> >Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the
> >command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3
> >and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
> >
> >TECH TIP!
> >Avoid excessive use of this feature.  Overuse can create additional
> >and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I
> >APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal
> >operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to
> >GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0.
> >
> >Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create
> >FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to
> >delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!
> >
> >Just remember!  The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for
> >all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently
> >run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.  Husband 1.0 is a great
> >program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new
> >applications quickly.
> >
> >Consider buying additional software to improve performance.  I
> >personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1.
> >Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0
> >running smoothly.
> >
> >After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you
> >will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings
> >2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
> >
> >A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install
> >MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause
> >selective shutdown of the operating system.  Husband 1.0 will run
> >only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is
> >uninstalled.
> >
> >I hope these notes have helped.  Thank you for choosing to install
> >Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in
> >coming years. We trust  you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
> >
> >Tech Support