> A first grader was sitting in class as the teacher was reading the story
> of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the
> first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.  She
> said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of
> straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to
> build my house with?'"
> 
> Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
> 
> My friend's son raised his hand and said "I know! I know!, he
> said.....'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'
> 
> The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
>             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
> five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
> father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches
> us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
> 
> Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
> "Thou shall not kill."
>            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown
> had kissed her after class.
> 
> "How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
> 
> "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
> catch him."
>             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
> at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several
> strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
> 
> She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your
> hairs white, Mom?"
> 
> Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
> make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
> 
> The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then
> said,"So, Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
> persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.  "Just think how
> nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
> 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
> 
> A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
> teacher; she's dead."
>             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
> make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the
> blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the
> face."
> 
> "Yes, sir," the boys said.
> 
> "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
> position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"  A little fellow shouted,
> "Cause yer feet ain't empty!"
>              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about
> the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.  One day the
> mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The
> six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment.  Furthermore,
> he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
> 
> The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever
> has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
> 
> Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
>