One for the ladies


> Some repetition here of those already done the rounds but some new highly
> amusing and 'Oh so true' perceptions on life
> 
> Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
> A: Single women come home, sees what's in the fridge and go to bed.
> ?? Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
> 
> Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to
> do the dishes?
> A: Both of them.
> 
> Q: Why did the man cross the road?
> A: He heard the chicken was a slut.
> 
> Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
> A: They don't have time.
> 
> Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg?
> A: They won't stop to ask directions.
> 
> Q: What do men and sperm have in common?
> A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
> 
> Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
> A: He buys two cases of beer.
> 
> Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?
> A: The bonds mature.
> 
> Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
> A:? So men can remember them.
> 
> Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
> A: We don't know; it has never happened.
> 
> Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good
> looking?
> A: They all already have boyfriends.
> 
> Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
> A: A Widow.
> 
> Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
> A: His hand caught fire.
> 
> Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
> A: Put the remote control between his toes.
> 
> Q: What did God say after creating Adam?
> A: I must be able to do better than that.
> 
> Q: What did God say after creating Eve?
> A: "Practice makes perfect."
> 
> Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
> A: Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or
> extremely small.
> 
> Q: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
> A: They are married.
> 
> Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
> God says: "So you would love her."
> But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
> God says: "So she would love you."
> 
> 
>