> 
> > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN LONDON TOO LONG
> > 
> > 1 You say 'mate' constantly.
> > 2 You think it is perfectly normal to pay over *3.00 for a pint.
> > 3 Anyone not from London is a 'wanker'.
> > 4 Anyone from outside London and north of the Watford Gap 
> is a 'Northern
> > Wanker'.
> > 5 You have no idea where the North is.
> > 6 You see All Saints in the Bar Med (again) and find it hard to get
> > excited
> > about it.
> > 7 The countryside makes you nervous.
> > 8 Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out 
> thinking they are a
> > stalker.
> > 9 American tourists no longer annoy you.
> > 10 You talk in postcodes. "God, it was really warm round 
> SW1 the other
> > day".
> > 11 You can't remember the last time you got up to 30 mph in 
> your car.
> > 12 You didn't realise that 'Paddington Green' is REAL.
> > 
> > 
> > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN MANCHESTER TOO LONG
> > 
> > 1.You go mad when somebody who is not from Manchester says 
> 'mad ferit',
> > "Nobody says that EVER!" you scream.
> > 2.You say 'mad fer it' when back in Manchester.
> > 3.You think fisherman's hats are attractive.
> > 4.You support Man City out of principle.
> > 5.You see Coronation Street stars all the time and think 
> nothing of it.
> > 6.You think Londoners are 'soft southern wankers'... until 
> they kick your
> > head in at a footie match.
> > 7.You get a freckle and consider yourself 'suntanned'
> > 8.You deny that it rains all the time.. as you struggle 
> home with the
> > shopping in yet another torrential downpour.
> > 9.You won't pay more than *1.50 for a wrap of skag.
> > 10.People start yawning when you talk about how great Manchester is
> > 
> > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN LIVERPOOL TOO LONG
> > 
> > 1. You have an urge to steal.
> > 2. You think Brookside is a 'glamorous' soap.
> > 3. You think Hollyoaks is 'posh'.
> > 4. You keep going on about how great Liverpool and Scousers are.
> > 5. To you, organised crime is putting petrol in the getaway car.
> > 6. You start to cry when you hear 'Ferry cross the Mersey'.
> > 7. You think anyone from Liverpool has a great sense of humour.
> > 8. You often wonder why you don't hear of many Scouse 
> comedians any more.
> > 9. You think everyone's heard of Greg Pateras
> > 10. You start thinking that Plymouth sounds nice.
> > 
> > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN GLASGOW TOO LONG
> > 
> > 1.You say 'pish' all the time.
> > 2.You say 'aye' all the time.
> > 3.You end sentences with 'like' i.e. 'I'm no goin' there, like, it's
> > pish'.
> > 4.You think McEwans beer is great, ignoring the fact it 'tastes of
> > pish like'.
> > 5.You get an urge to punch everybody you meet.
> > 6.You punch everybody you meet.
> > 7.You get drunk before, after and during punching everybody 
> you meet.
> > 8.You are incomprehensible.
> > 9.People seem to be scared of you when you say where you are from.
> > 10 You automatically get the urge to kill on hearing the 
> words 'Edinburgh'
> > or 'England'.
> > 11.You have heart disease aged 26 due to all deep-fried 
> pizzas you have
> > consumed since birth.
> > 
> > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN DUBLIN TOO LONG
> > 
> > 1.You say "I'm Grand" all the time.
> > 2.You think of Guinness as if it is the sixth food group.
> > 3.You disagreed with 2. - Guinness is the FIRST food group.
> > 4.You're pale and white... yet compared to others your 
> suntan looks good.
> > 5.You say "Are you Grand ?" all the time.
> > 6.You say "Isn't it grand" all the time.
> > 7.You say "That'd be grand" all the time.
> > 8.You can pronounce names like Eoghan, Niamh and Siobhan.
> > 9.You take 4 hours to get home on a Saturday night and 
> think nothing of
> > it.
> > 10 You don't eat anything cold, uncooked or not resembling 
> meat, bread or
> > potatoes
> > 11.You say "Your man" all the time.
> > 12.You say "Your woman" all the time.
> > 13.You say "It's grand that your man asked if I'm grand" 
> all the time.
> > 14.You find yourself still living with family and having 
> dinners cooked
> > for
> > you by someone's mammy - at 30.
> > 15.You talk about 'dinners' and 'mammys'.
> > 
> > SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN CARDIFF TOO LONG
> > 
> > 1.You are still there.
> > 
> > 
>