> 
> 
> >  On an Electrician's truck: 'Let us remove your shorts.'
> >  English Sign in German Cafe: 'Mothers, Please Wash Your 
> Hands Before
> > Eating.'
> >  On a Scientist's door: 'Gone Fission'
> >  On a Taxidermist's window: 'We really know our stuff.'
> >  Outside a Hotel: 'Help! We need inn-experienced people.'
> >  At an Auto Body Shop: 'May we have the next dents?'
> >  At a Music Store: 'Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.'
> >  On a Music Teacher's door: 'Out Chopin.'
> >  On the door of a Music Library: 'Bach in a min-u-et.'
> >  On a Butcher's window: 'Let me meat your needs.'
> >  On another Butcher's window: 'Pleased to meat you.'
> >  At a Used Car Lot: 'Second Hand cars in first crash condition.'
> >  In a Beauty Shop: 'Dye now!'
> >  On the door of a Computer Store: 'Out for a quick byte.'
> >  Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: 'Best place in town to 
> take a leak.'
> >  In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: 'Drop your pants here.'
> >  In a Restaurant window: 'Don't stand there and be hungry, 
> come in and get
> > fed up
> > 
> 

Substitute any parasitic group of your choice...

> -----Original Message-----
> Subject: Humour: Lawyer Jokes
>
>
> Some Old, Some New ....
>
> DOK
>
> >  Lawyer Jokes!
> >
> > Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
> > A: Your honor.
> >
> > Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
> > A: Senator.
> >
> > Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
> > A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
> >
> > Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck
> in sand?
> > A: Not enough sand.
> >
> > Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
> > A: Because down deep, they are all nice guys!
> >
> > Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
> > A: Cut the rope.
> >
> > Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
> > A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
> >
> > Q: What is the definition "lucky break?"
> > A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
> >
> > Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
> > A: There was an empty seat.
> >
> > Q: Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?
> > A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in
> fine print.
> >
> > Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
> > A: One's a bottom-crawling scum sucker and the other's just
> a fish.
> >
> > Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
> > A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands
> weren't met.
> >
> > Q: What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
> > A: Both have about a 1-in-3 million chance of becoming a
> human being.
> >
> > Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
> > A: In the cemetery
> >
> > Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
> > A: Their personalities.
> >
> > Q: Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?
> > A: Because people could not tell which side to spit on.
> >
> > Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
> > A: About three pounds, including the urn. - -
> >
> > Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big
> when he died that
> > they couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body?
> They gave him an
> > enema and buried him in a shoe box.
> >
>