This is very funny - but quite long.

J. > >
>

 > > << THE BAD DAY CURE - Anon
> > >
> > >  For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day and you just 
>need
> > > to
> > >  take
> > >  it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, 
> > > take
> > >  it
> > >  out on someone you DON'T know!!! 
> > >
> > >  I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to 
>make.
> > I
> > >  found
> > >  the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I 
> > > politely
> > >  said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin 
> > Carter?"
> > >  Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that 
> > anyone
> > >  could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called 
> > her.
> > >  She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. 
> > >
> > >  After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying 
> > there
> > > on
> > >  my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more 
> > >  answered, I yelled "You're a tosser!" and hung up. Next to his phone 
> > > number
> > >  I wrote the word "tosser," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple 
> > of
> > >  weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him 
> > up.
> > >  He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a tosser!" It would always cheer 
>me
> > > up.
> > >
> > >  Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a 
> > real
> > >  disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the tosser. Then 
> > one
> > > day
> > >  I
> > >  had an idea. I dialled his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I 
> > made
> > > up
> > >  a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and 
>I'm
> > > just
> > >  calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He 
>went,
> > >  "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, 
> > >  "That's because you're a tosser!"
> > >
> > >  The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how 
> > if
> > >  there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something 
>about
> > > it.
> > >  Just dial 0171 823-4863.
> > >
> > >  Keep reading, it gets better.! 
> > >
> > >  CHAPTER 2
> > >  An old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out 
>of
> > > the
> > >  parking pace. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, 
>her
> > > car
> > >  began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I 
> > > backed
> > >  up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I 
> > > thought,
> > >  she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black BMW came flying up 
> > the
> > >  parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulled into her space. I hit 
> > the
> > >  horn and started yelling, "You can't do that. I was here first!" The 
> > guy
> > >  climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the 
> > > shopping
> > >  centre as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's 
>a
> > >  tosser, there sure are a lot of tossers in this world. I noticed he 
>had
> > a
> > >  "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the 
>number.
> > > Then
> > >  I hunted for another place to park. 
> > >
> > >  A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just 
>got
> > > off
> > >  the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a tosser!" 
>(It's
> > >  really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) 
> > >
> > >  I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW lying on my 
> > desk
> > >  and thought I'd better call this guy too. After a couple of rings 
> > someone
> > >  answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with 
>the
> > >  black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see 
> > it?"
> > >  "Yes, I live at 182 West street, London. It's a yellow house and the 
> > > car's
> > >  parked right out front."
> > >  I said, "What's your name?" "My name is Don Hansen." "When's a good 
> > time
> > > to
> > >  catch you, Don?" "I'm home in the evenings." "Listen Don, can I tell 
> > you
> > >  something?" "Yes," "Don, you're a tosser!" And I slammed the phone 
> > down.
> > >
> > >  After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialler. For 
>a
> > > while
> > >  things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I 
>had
> > > two
> > >  tossers to call. Then, after several months of calling the tossers 
>and
> > >  hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I 
> > gave
> > > the
> > >  problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:
> > >  First, I had my phone dial tosser #1. A man answered nicely saying, 
> > > "Hello."
> > >
> > >  I yelled "You're a tosser!", but I didn't hang up. The tosser said, 
> > "Are
> > > you
> > >  still there?" I said, "Yeah."
> > >  He said, "Stop calling me." I said, "No."
> > >  He said, "What's your name, Pal?" I said, "Don Hansen."
> > >  He said "Where do you live?" "182 West Street, London. It's a yellow 
> > > house
> > >  and my black BMW's parked out front."
> > >  "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your 
> > prayers."
> > >  "Yeah, like I'm really scared, tosser!" and I hung up. 
> > >
> > >  Then I called tosser #2. He answered, "Hello." I said, "Hello, 
>tosser!"
> > > He
> > >  said, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" "I'll kick 
> > your
> > >  arse."
> > >  "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, tosser!" And I 
> > hung
> > >  up.
> > >
> > >  Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was 
>at
> > > 182
> > >  West Street, London and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon 
> > as
> > > I
> > >  got home.
> > >  I climbed into my car and headed over to West Street to watch the 
>whole
> > >  thing. Glorious!
> > >
> > >  Watching the two tossers kicking the crap out of each other before 
> > being
> > >  arrested was one of the greatest experiences of my life! 
> > >
> > >  Name withheld to protect the guilty. 
>