Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die.
Upon Jeff's arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter.
"Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked.
St. Peter replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in
the other direction instead of getting into Heaven." Jeff was bothered
by this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure
he is OK?" So, Jeff and St. Peter walked over to the edge of Heaven and
looked down. There was Mike, on a sandy beach, with a           gorgeous
sexy blonde in a bikini, and also with keg of beer. "I don't mean to
complain, but Mike seems to have it pretty nice down there in Hell,"
says Jeff. "It's not as it appears to be,"  says St. Peter. "You see,
the keg has a hole in it.............    and the blonde doesn't."


Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his
hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. "Can I help you,
fella?", asks the cop. "Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!" Edward replies.
The cop asks, "Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?". "It
was at the end of this key", Edward replies. At this point the cop looks
down to see that Edwards penis is hanging out of his trousers. The cop
asks Edward , "Hey buddy, are you aware that you're exposing yourself?
Edward looks down sadly and moans, "OHHH GOD...they got Julie too!!! "
>>


During an international gynaecology conference, an English doctor, Dr.
UK,
 Steve, and a French doctor, Dr. Myrddin, were discussing unusual cases
they had treated recently.
"Only last week," Dr. Myrddin said, "a woman came to see me with a
clitoris like a melon!" "Don't be absurd, "Dr. UK Steve exclaimed, "It
couldn't have been that big.
 My God, man, she wouldn't be able to walk if it were."
"Aah, you English, always thinking about size," replied Dr. Myrddin. "I
was talking about the flavour!"


Sandy and John were an extremely liberal, though not especially bright,
white couple. Wanting to begin a family, they decided they wanted to
have a black baby, and set to work. Nine months later, the fruits of
their labour was born: a lovely white girl. Pleased but disappointed,
John decided to ask a black man at work why they hadn't parented a black
baby. Realising that John was somewhat sluggish, the fellow took him
aside and asked, "Is your d*ck at least a foot long?" John had to admit
that it was not. "And is it at least four inches wide?" Once more John
replied in the negative. "Well, man, there's your problem!" the guy
slapped him on the back. "You let in too much light!"