Something to amuse and enlighten you after your holiday...

    
> For those of you who liked the original Viz Profanisaurus, here are the new 
> words / phrases entering it this year...
> 
> 
> 
> Beer scooter
> 
> Miraculous method of transport employed when leaving the pub after drinking 
> large amounts of beer. So called due to the 'lost time' effect when
> returning home seemingly in no time and in incredible velocity 
> 
> 
> 
> Coilius interupus
> 
> Method employed by God to prevent the birth of 'meatloaf's daughter'(a turd) 
> whereby the doorbell rings just as you are laying the foundations of a log
> cabin.
> 
> 
> 
> Crafty butcher
> 
> A male homosexual. i.e. a man who likes to take his meat round the back. 
> 
> 
> 
> Crescent wank
> 
> To arrange one's favourite jazz periodicals in a half moon display, before 
> kneeling down to perform a be-bob solo on the spunk trumpet.
> 
> 
> 
> Dead otter
> 
> A single stool of immense proportions. 
> 
> 
> 
> Docker's omelette
> 
> A glistening gobbet of rubbery phlegm with remarkable anti-traction 
> proportions. A gold watch.
> 
> 
> 
> Dreadnought
> 
> Even bigger than a dead otter.
> 
> 
> 
> Driving range
> 
> Where you hit your balls when practising with your wood. 
> 
> 
> 
> Eating sushi off a barber shop floor 
> 
> Fanny diving.
> 
> 
> 
> Fuckshitfuckshitfuckshit
> 
> Phrase uttered when driving a car through a particularly tight space at too 
> high speed.
> 
> 
> Horse's handbrake
> 
> A raging bone on.
> 
> 
> L.R.F (low resolution fox)
> 
> A female who appears to be attractive from a long distance, but is in fact 
> unbelievably ugly close up.
> 
> 
> 
> Lung warts
> 
> Small tits.
> 
> 
> 
> Meatloaf's daughter
> 
> See dreadnought.
> 
> 
> 
> Menange a une
> 
> A one in the bed romp. A wank.
> 
> 
> 
> Mr Brown's at the window
> 
> To have a turtles head. First used by Queen Victoria. 'Prey forgive us, Mr
> Gladstone, but we cannot receive you at the present time. Mr Brown is at the 
> window, and we fear we may papper our kex'
> 
> 
> 
> Necking turds
> 
> Description of one suffering from halitosis. As in, 'Excuse me, madam, I 
> don't want to appear rude, but have you been necking turds'
> 
> 
> 
> Pace car
> 
> Of paying a sit down visit. The slow un-aerodynamic leading turd that once
> out of the way, allows the souped-up bastards behind to put their foot down. 
> 
> 
> 
> Ragman's coat
> 
> Turkey's wattle; raggy blart; An untidy vagina. 
> 
> 
> 
> Spice island
> 
> A foul smelling archipelago favoured by sailors on their trips around the 
> world - i.e. the anus.
> 
> 
> 
> Throwabout
> 
> A petite woman who can be easily 'thrown about' from one position to another 
> during sex.
> 
> 
> 
> Wizard's sleeve
> 
> Also a Clown's pocket. A particularly capacious sausage wallet. As in 'I 
> can't feel a bloody thing. You must have a fanny like a wizard's sleeve'