Though it's possible you'll be too early
And get there before all the others
And if it's one of those fancy watches
You'll first have to take off the covers

You can get a watch that dangles
Which has a wind up………thing
But then if you over wind it
You'll cause it to break the spring

You can buy a watch that's self winding
Which you'll have to wear all the while;
If you take it off for a day or two
It stops so it's not a good style

A grandfather clock is attractive
But you can't take it out of the house
And if you look in the pendulum cupboard
You may find inside there's a mouse

If you like you can use an egg timer
Though they run out of sand very soon
But then you can get an alarm watch
That may play a very nice tune

A dial that sits in the garden
Is all very well in the sun
But when it rains and it's cloudy
The hours that it tells will be none

A digital watch is a problem
It works in hundreds of hours
They come in all shapes and sizes
And some have electronic powers

I have a watch that works backwards
And I get the right time twice a day
I like it; it's really quite stylish
But I can't tell the time anyway

It's fifteen past fourteen hundred
Or is it a quarter past two
No! it's two fifteen and I'm getting confused
So I'll pass this time over to you

Goodness me is that the time?
It seems I'm running slow
I've dropped my bells I cannot chime
My batteries must be low

It seems to me, I've got to run
The ladies will not wait
Time really flies when you're having fun
Though it speeds up my pulse rate

It's time to clap our hands and sing
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Stomp and let our alarm bells ring
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I can not tell the time to you
I'm feeling rather lonesome
I got knocked off the table
And I've been left all on my one-some

Watch out here comes the fat controller
Looking very shifty
His new fitted panel works off solar
And he's feeling very nifty

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, late, late
And I'm running very fast
I'm in a rush and time won't wait
Oh why am I always last?

I've fallen off the shelf I think
My leg is a little squashed
I may have had too much to drink
And I'm feeling rather sloshed

I'm not a machine that has powers
Like some of my colleagues above
I have about twenty four hours
I'm a dear little clock that you'll love

Oooooops

Why is the twelve at the top of the clock?
With the six way down at the bottom
The nine and the three
It seems to me
Should be switched around
But then I have found
When I'm half way down
I've forgotten

Why the ten is up with the two
Eight down with four beets my knowledge
One up with eleven
Five down with seven
They're all quite estranged
And should be rearranged
On the clock at the grange
At the college

Why does the clock have a deafening bell
It should have a sweet little chime
Or we should have a clock
That doesn't tick-tock
But chucks out small balls
And as each of them falls
On a button it call
Out the time

Somebody must have stolen it
I must inform the Bill
For without my face I cannot function
And life is rather still.

Was it some thing that I said?
That made me lose my face
Or did I just fall off the shelf?
With dignity and grace.

There is a saying, when one is quiet
"The cat has got one's tongue"
But what do you say when you've lost your face
And your feeling highly strung?

I guess I'll just give out blank looks
It seems I've lost my spark
Oh! Something has just occurred to me
It's night time and of course it's dark

'Twas VI O'clock in the evening
Or was it VI in the morn'?
when Caesar entered on his head
upon his face a scorn

"I cannot read the clock "he said
His eyebrows deep in frown
Not only is it back to front
Some numerals are upside down

His centurion said "Hail Caesar
I'll remove it from the wall"
He thought "this clock is easy to read"
As he cart wheeled across the hall

I'll put the clock in the garden
And take the hands away
With a twig in the centre at sun up
It'll give us the time of day

"A good idea" said Caesar
As the blood rushed to his head
An angry gleam was in his eye
And his face was turning red

The clock was put on a pedestal
With the dial towards the sun
Then Caesar looked upon it and said
"Ah yes! This should be fun

He left a scroll for his charioteers
Which read "I think we've found it?
You cannot race against this clock
You'll have to go around it

And so the clock was mounted
A sundial on the lawn
And now we know what time it is
At VI pm and dawn.

My cuckoo clock has a cuckoo
Which cuckoos now and again
But when it reaches twelve O'clock
It can drive one quite insane

I've thought about an atomic clock
I've a place where one could hang
But I worry, when it reaches twelve
Will it go of bang?

I'd like to own a Roman clock
But it's partly up side down
The numerals have no place value
So there's confusion all around

I think I'll settle for an ordinary clock
Which is what ? I have to wonder
A clock is just a time machine
For the time of day thereunder

 

When the alarm goes off in the morning
It makes quite a deafening sound
Whilst the clock is gyrating
The table's vibrating
It's most irritating
I've found

So I think I'll invest in a new clock
With a buzzer instead of a bell
A digital display
A voice that will say
The time of the day
And not knell

I feel as though I have three heads
What did I have to drink?
I hear alarm bells ringing
And find it hard to think

Oh! Look I have three faces
Each with a different time
With all these bells and clappers
What a pity I don't chime

I poured myself a whiskey
Then another and one more
Or maybe half a dozen
Because now I'm on the floor

I hope tomorrow morning
My alarm resumes its ring
I can wake early with the birds
And listen to them sing

The Greeks they counted their pebbles
The Romans counted their heads
The Greeks would stay up and figure things out
The Romans fought battles instead

The Greeks, were conquered by Romans
And counting then came to an end
The Romans had numbers, which didn't make sense
And that sent us all round the bend

Today we still use Roman numerals
Which have no place values at all
Hopeless for fast calculations
But still have their use on the wall