Goodness me is that the time?
It seems I'm running slow
I've dropped my bells I cannot chime
My batteries must be low

It seems to me, I've got to run
The ladies will not wait
Time really flies when you're having fun
Though it speeds up my pulse rate

It's time to clap our hands and sing
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Stomp and let our alarm bells ring
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I can not tell the time to you
I'm feeling rather lonesome
I got knocked off the table
And I've been left all on my own-some

Watch out here comes the fat controller
Looking very shifty
His new fitted panel works off solar
And he's feeling very nifty

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, late, late
And I'm running very fast
I'm in a rush and time won't wait
Oh why am I always last?

I've fallen off the shelf I think
My leg is a little squashed
I may have had too much to drink
And I'm feeling rather sloshed

 

Why is the twelve at the top of the clock?
With the six way down at the bottom
The nine and the three
It seems to me
Should be switched around
But then I have found
When I'm half way down
I've forgotten

Why the ten is up with the two
Eight down with four beets my knowledge
One up with eleven
Five down with seven
They're all quite estranged
And should be rearranged
On the clock at the grange
At the college

Why does the clock have a deafening bell
It should have a sweet little chime
Or we should have a clock
That doesn't tick-tock
But chucks out small balls
And as each of them falls
On a button it calls
Out the time

'Twas VI O'clock in the evening
Or was it VI in the morn'?
when Caesar entered on his head
upon his face a scorn

"I cannot read the clock "he said
His eyebrows deep in frown
Not only is it back to front
Some numerals are upside down"

His centurion said "Hail Caesar
I'll remove it from the wall"
He thought "this clock is easy to read"
As he cart wheeled across the hall

I'll put the clock in the garden
And take the hands away
With a twig in the centre at sun up
It'll give us the time of day

"A good idea" said Caesar
As the blood rushed to his head
An angry gleam was in his eye
And his face was turning red

The clock was put on a pedestal
With the dial towards the sun
Then Caesar looked upon it and said
"Ah yes! This should be fun"

He left a scroll for his charioteers
Which read "I think we've found it?
You cannot race against this clock
You'll have to go around it"

And so the clock was mounted
A sundial on the lawn
And now we know what time it is
At VI pm and dawn.

My cuckoo clock has a cuckoo
Which cuckoos now and again
But when it reaches twelve O'clock
It can drive one quite insane

I've thought about an atomic clock
I've a place where one could hang
But I worry, when it reaches twelve
Will it go of bang?

I'd like to own a Roman clock
But it's partly up side down
The numerals have no place value
So there's confusion all around

I think I'll settle for an ordinary clock
Which is what ? I have to wonder
A clock is just a time machine
For the time of day thereunder

 

When the alarm goes off in the morning
It makes quite a deafening sound
Whilst the clock is gyrating
The table's vibrating
It's most irritating
I've found

So I think I'll invest in a new clock
With a buzzer instead of a bell
A digital display
A voice that will say
The time of the day
And not knell

The Greeks they counted their pebbles
The Romans counted their heads
The Greeks would stay up and figure things out
The Romans fought battles instead

The Greeks, were conquered by Romans
And counting then came to an end
The Romans had numbers, which didn't make sense
And that sent us all round the bend

Today we still use Roman numerals
Which have no place values at all
Hopeless for fast calculations
But still have their use on the wall

I have a clock which is back-to-front
And works in an opposite direction
It tells the time backwards it’s all to the left
And it ought to be sent for correction

Frankly I find it much easier to read
When it’s anti clock wise in rotation
For who says it’s right for a clock to go forth
When back gives the same information

Granny has a magical clock
Which doesn’t have a face
Sitting on her computer desk
With dignity and grace

The digits are suspended
They display “Good morning” to you
“Good Afternoon, Good Evening”
And “Have A Nice Day” too

In the season “Merry Christmas”
After that a “Happy New Year”
Even “Happy Easter”
With a display that’s very clear

Of course it displays the time and date
But no chime, no buzzer nor bell
Will granny be punctilious?
Only time will tell