r
According to the alphabet in Greek
is the sixteenth letter
Sixteen being the square of four.
It makes one feel much better.

P is also letter sixteen
In the English alphabet
And I is nine, the square of three
But let us not forget

That the sums of 9+16, 9x16 and 9/16
Are all so very squared
Is just some mathematical knowledge
I thought, would be nice if shared

{9+16=25 the square of 5}
{9x16 =144 the square of 12}
{9/16 = .5625 the square of .75}

That is why they sayr ed

There now! Isn't that useful?

Oh gosh I’m under the table
I wonder how did I get here?
I was having a chat with some friends of mine
And somebody passed round the beer

I wish I knew what had hit me
To give me this pain in my head
Did I trip over my shoelace
Or was it some thing I said

I am told that I had some too many
And I missed when I sat on my stool
So I think I’ll stay under the table
Because I feel rather a fool

Road Wise

My friend bought a car, she was very excited
And paid the whole sum with a cheque
The sides they were dented, one door would not open
It wasn't exactly Hi-Tech

My friend had only a provisional license
And so I sat in for correction
Ten yards from the house, two hubcaps flew off
And each in a different direction

We turneded the corner and drove to the garage
The petrol gauge being quite low
When the car was topped up, she said with alarm
"My bag, it's at home, oh no!"

I said to my friend "please do not panic,
We'll pay for the bill with my money"
We pulled out of the garage, another 'cap went
By now I thought this quite funny

We finally drove to the end of the road
When the last hubcap flew away
"Oh dear" said my friend "now they're all gone
This really is not my day"

The lessons went on for several weeks
Then a new car was bought, no more fuss
My friend passed her test a month or so later
And I went back to using the bus

The new car was fine, it ran very smoothly
There were no problems at all
But one day she drove home and made a misjudgement
And parked her car on the wall

How she did this, we none of us know
But she did and then needed help
Her husband came out to look at the damage
And let out a mighty big yelp

On the whole my friend's a good driver
Being taught by one of the best
She drives her car all over the town
But I take the bus for a rest

I think it's a sort of symmetry
For the numbers are fine in my head
But transferring I've found
They occasionally turn around
And come out back to front instead

Some times when a fraction's top heavy
My mind and my brain seam to fight
I'll do lots of rough
To work out this stuff
But I muddle my left with my right

I really enjoy mathematics
But problems are a problem, I've found
If I stood on my head
Would they better instead
Or would they come out up-side-down ???

So I really need help with my fractions
I know this I don't have a doubt
For there, in my mind
The answers I'll find
But on paper I can't work it out

Here's to the physiotherapists
Who make your body feel well
They undo the tussles
Tied up by one's muscles
With cold hands that reduce any swell

If unnerved by all that equipment
That is stuck to, or strapped round one's torso;
It's radio sonic
Or maybe vibronic
And can add to the pain even more so

One can stand on a board and wobble
Or swing on the parallel bars
With disorientation
Can lose motivation
This may cause one to see a few stars

So be nice to the physiotherapist
When looking a bit black and blue;
A cold compress in fact
Might put things in tact
But yanking and pulling may ensue

And then when the treatment is over
One can go for a nice cup of tea
Or down a few beers
Shift up two gears
And come back the next day at three

They've place some blocks by the drive way
So now we can't drive on the grass
They've erected a post, in the centre
So that no one driving can pass

I don't think they mean to be awkward
They just want us to be secure
And the blocks they've placed on the corner
Will guarantee this for sure

So when you drive in the next morning
And you can't squeeze your car through the gap
Just look at this eyesore of snow white blocks
Well………… some one deserves a big clap

If you put one foot in front of the other
And then put the other behind
You may find you're not going forward
Or backward, but then never mind

If you put one foot behind as far as you can
Put the other to the side one pace
Move to the left, turn to the right
You might fall flat on your face

If you put your right foot in front of your left
Put your left foot behind to the right
You might find it a little bit painful
But you should be OK by tonight

If you put your left foot in front of the right
Wind it round 'til it takes up the slack
Give your body a bit of a twirl
You might slip a disc in your back

If you find the above a bit strenuous
Or something that you wouldn't do
Talk to the physical instructor
I'm sure he can change things for you

If you think you would rather be sitting
Then look for a nice comfy chair
You can put both feet up; drop your head in your lap
And wave your arms in the air

If you do this routine every morning
You'll feel fit and bright for each day
You'll find very soon that some men in white coats
Will come to take you away

The mind has no mass
And therefore takes no time to travel

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