Live Nonviolence


The purpose of nonviolent communication is to strengthen our ability to hear and respond with compassion to both others and ourselves, and then to respond in such a way as to inspire compassion from the other. It's a shift in how we hold ourselves, a move towards hearing and speaking in line with our deeply held values, while we learn to trust ourselves and to tune into the deep sense of integrity that comes with speaking congruently with what is felt. Social change is at the heart of nonviolence, and begins with individual responsibility.

Developing NVC skills supports us to:

- be empowered to express clearly and concisely what you want in challenging situations.

- hear empathically even when attacked with criticism and judgments.

- express in a way that supports others to feel safe and trustful in you.

- use conflict to create intimate connection through understanding.

- find peace when you have feelings of anger, guilt, shame, fear or frustration.

Rik Midgley is an independent trainer of nonviolenct communication living in Bethesda near Bangor, North Wales. Non-violent communication (NVC) , also known as Compassionate Communication, was developed by Marshall Rosemberg in the 60 & 70s, following the pioneering work of Carl Rogers. It is based on the principles of nonviolence, the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. Consequently it contains nothing that has not been known for centuries. Gandhi, frustrated that after 10,000 years of domination culture no word exists in the English language for 'nonviolence', coined the term by describing it by what it is not.

The intension of NVC is to connect, with self-connection being a prerequisite for connection with others. This requires awareness of what is alive in us, of what is felt tangibly in the body, that living expression of our humanity, that yearning to not only live but to thrive. It is an understanding that this energy, which drives us to act, is alive in all human beings, and accounts for all we do. It is the realisation that others are also responsible for their own feelings, speech and actions, so that one person cannot be ‘made to feel’ by another. NVC supports us taking this responsibility by clarifying what choices we have available to us and offering techniques for its expression. This is done by focusing our use of words, not upon the judgments, ideas and concepts in the mind, but from a place of deep bodily awareness of what is alive in ourselves and others. With NVC judgments are based on care, consideration and understanding and not on fear of losing acceptance or perceived value in a culture which promotes an imbalance of power. In doing this, we move away from the world of right and wrong and towards living moment by moment in tune with ourselves.

The process of learning NVC is empowering and liberating. As our understanding grows, we free ourselves from our anxieties. With enhanced awareness we become more present, able to be with others with acceptance and non-attachment, while staying in touch with our deeply held beliefs. We find courage to express ourselves with a radical honesty, with integrity and an open heart. Central to all, NVC is about compassion. Compassion for self and compassion for others. It is the art of listening to our hearts and to the heart of others. In support of this, NVC offers techniques, and yet it is the focus upon intention of the heart which is the spiritual focus; an intension to inspire compassion in others.

For further details of nonviolent communication around Bangor, North Wales, email Rik: