In time, with south Brits in a sorry old mess,
With Danelaw and Ęthel's "unred"-iness;1
Malcolm (the two) marched south of the Tweed,2
Beat Tyne and Teesiders six nothing indeed,3
Settled the east border by the banks of that river,
'Til now neither side's made it e'er quiver.
Malcolm's grandson was king of Strathclyde,
Young Duncan, with luck his time he could bide;
He succeeded his grandpa and now on the Solway4
Was set the west border as now it is alway.
So all kingdoms merged into Scotia's domain,
Except the far north and the Isles which remain
Under Norse rule for some time to come.
But Duncan was thought a poor leader by some,
Macbeth discontented, carousing with witches,
While Gruoch his wife urged him on like those bitches;
So Duncan was led like a sheep to the slaughter,
And King Macbeth ruled---better than he oughter5
And if we trust Will in his play of Mac's life,6
A caesarian birth made him Mac the Knife.
In time the wood "walked" and soon he was dead,7
Dunc's son Malc the slayer, known as "Big Head"8
Macbeth's step-son Lulach sat on the Stone,9
After four months was relieved of the throne10
By Malcolm Canmore proving the braver.11
Wessex nobles flew north 'cos it wur safur,
As the Normans had knocked the Saxons for six,
When they came for a day trip in 1066.12
Heir Edgar, fled north, safe exile to beg,
And brought along sisters Christine and Meg.
Malcolm, a wid'er, chose Meg for his wife,
A second time round, a glutton for strife!
But Margaret turned out a right saintly queen,
Brought culture to Scotland, n'er before seen.
Though Malcolm resisted her changing his ways,
And kept raiding England with umpteen forays;
While warring at Alnwick in 1093,
His comeuppance he got---exit Malcolm (three).
Donald, Malc's brother, next sat on the Stone,13
For another four years he held onto the throne.
But both league and cup the Celtic Trads lost,
More Anglified sound did the "Hampden Roar" boast.
This trend, the Canmores, was able to save,14
For Malc and Meg's sons Edgar, Alex and Dave.15
The greatest of whom was King David the First,16
An English education satisfying his thirst
For things Norman---so his closest classmates
He invited to Scotland and gave them estates.
Gave Annandale to one Robert de Brus,
Whose descendent was famed for arachnean ruse.
Abbeys shot up where before none had stood,
Jedburgh, Kelso, Melrose, Holyrood.17
Notes
1 In the 9th century, most of England was ruled by Danes, based at York.
Ęthel's "unred"-iness, now pejoritively Ęthelred, "the unready".
He was a 10th century Anglo Saxon king whose name Ęthel-red meant "noble-wise counsel";
"unred" was a pun on his name because of his incompetence in dealing with Danish invaders
2 Malcolm II, (r.1005-34).
3 Battle of Carham, 1018.
4 Duncan I, (r.1034-1040).
5 Macbeth, (r.1040-1057).
6 "Macbeth", by Wm. Shakespeare.
7 From Shakespeare's play: "Fear not till Birnam wood Do come to Dunsinane"; Act 5 Sc 5.
8 Malcolm Canmore; Gaelic Caenn mór, big head.
9 The Stone of Destiny on which ancient Scottish kings were crowned.
10 Killed at Strathbogie, Aberdeenshire.
11 Malcolm III, (r.1057-1093).
12 Battle of Hastings, 1066.
13 Donald Bane, (r.1093-97).
14 Edgar, (r.1097-1106/7).
15 Alexander I, (r.1106/7-24).
16 David I, (r.1124-1153).
17 Dunfermline founded earlier, c.1070.
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