Son Dave was betrothed to Ed (three's) sister Joan1
Soon after Rob died---Dave (two) got the throne,2
Aged only five was sent over to France,3
And Phil (six's) cause he tried to advance;4
His French education lost him the plot,
Scots independence he helped not a lot.
Returning, he raided Ed, (the three's), land,
But lost and was caught near Bishop Auckland5
Eleven years on and then he was free,
One hundred thou' Marks th'exorbitant fee
Ruined the country and brought certain shame,
Davie's mistakes, on his father's good name.
Apart from daft kings the folk also bore
The threat from Black Death which reached Scotland's shore
During Dave's reign of long years forty two.
His heir the middle aged Robert (the two),6
Steward of Scotland and nephew of Dave,7
First of the dynasty that his name gave;8
Of twenty-one kids, (were "illegits" eight!),
Many would vie to become head of state:
From Badenoch the Wolf swept down from the hills,9
Burned Elgin Cathedral...high on bad pills?10
Tension arose twixt sons Johnny and Rob,
Earls Carrick and Fife, each had their own mob,
Fife pummelled Percys with Douglas support,11
While Carrick, the heir, took over the court.
But Johnny, while young, was kicked by a horse,
Feeble and weak he ruled badly, of course12
Next crowned, his son James, the throne he did lose,13
Shanghaied by the English on a sea cruise,
Imprisoned down South for eighteen long years.
But on his return Scots shed many tears,
For Jim's cruel ways to some of his peers,
Cheered his demise at forty-three years,
Murdered he was---sent swiftly to Heaven.
We now meet James (two), crowned barely seven,14
Dubbed "Fiery Face" was most keen to attack,
Duffed up the Douglasses, both Red and Black,
This curious King stood too near a gun,
Killed by the blast, the crown passed to his son.
James (three) only nine when he became king,15
Brought up by the Boyds who calmed everything,16
Wed daughter Meg of the King of Norway,
But Christian, too poor the dowry to pay,17
Offered instead those far Northern Isles,
Jim received Orkney and Shetland with smiles.
Raised Gordons and Campbells who kept control;
Read "Hansard" he'd had the MPs install;18
Quarrels with nobles gave James such a rise,
Barons rebelling soon brought his demise.
Despite his dad's end, James, (four), in his teens,19
Was proclaimed king and by personal means,
As leader excelled: top notch at ruling.
His navy now built, rebels stopped fooling;
But Lords of the Isles were never Jim's fans,
He duffed them up well with some other clans.
Tired of the French, he looked south for a bride,
Chose Maggie Tudor, so turning the tide
In ties with England and Harry ( the sev'n)---20
Thistle and Rose made a marriage in Heav'n.
But all was to change when Maggie's dad died,
His son was crowned king and all Europe sighed21
Relations with England turned very sour,
Henry's now bent on increasing his pow'r.
This bellicose king attacked La Belle France,
Whose Queen implored James to "go break a lance",
She sent him her ring and so he agreed.22
A great force he raised and mounted his steed,
And Southwards they marched with James in the lead,
The two armies met just south of the Tweed,
At Flodden Field and the river called Till,
Weapons superior much blood did spill,
Scots "Flow'rs" all slain. A resounding defeat,
James, though heroic, his Maker did meet24
Notes
1 Edward III of England, (r.1327-77).
2 David II, (r.1329-1371).
3 David was the son of Robert the Bruce.
4 Philip VI, King of France.
5 1346.
6 Robert II, (r.1371-90).
7 Son of Marjory, daughter of Robert I.
8 First of the Stuart kings.
9 Earl of Buchan and Lord of Badenoch, son of Robert II, (d.1405).
10 1390.
11 Battle of Otterburn, (Aug. 1388).
12 Ruled as Robert III, (r.1390-1406).
13 James I, (r.1406-37).
14 James II, (r.1437-60).
15 James III, (r.1460-88).
16 Thomas, Earl of Arran.
17 Christian I of Norway.
18 Record of sittings, 1466.
19 James IV, (r.1488-1513).
20 Henry VII of England, (r.1485-1509).
21 Henry VIII of England, (r.1509-47).
22 Observing the Auld Alliance. Sending James her ring would have very much appealed
to the romantic Renaissance prince that James was.
23 The English army was led by the Thomas Howard, Earl of Surrey.
24 Battle of Flodden, 9 Sep. 1513.
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